Days of Green
by KeepCounting
Summary: Knowledge is the best way to defeat enemies - unfortunately, the enemies will always want this knowledge too. So when her father dies, Erica goes to the Military with information he left behind. But nothing ever goes as planned. On permanent HIATUS
1. Newcomer

_**So, this is my new story titled 'Days of Green', and it is going to be an EnvyxOC story. But! It WILL be canon, and I promise you, I will do anything in my power to keep Envy in character and to not make a Mary Sue. 'Cause I hate those… **_

_**This is animeverse, and it starts from right after Episode 13 'Fullmetal vs. Flame'. Enjoy**_

_**This is yet another story dedicated to my beloved **__Athiriel__** ;)**_

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**Newcomer **

A few leaves fell of the tree above her, gently flailing towards the ground, as if flying on a silent wind. She watched them for a few moments, just standing there, in the middle of the road.

Not that she had much else to do. Pushing up the black sleeve of her jacket, she looked at her watch.

They where nearly fifteen minutes late. So much for being punctual. She sighed, kicking at one of the rocks that where lying on the road.

So much of her life had changed in a matter of months. It had all moved by so quickly, everything happening like a blur before her eyes. And now, everything stood still, except for those leaves, still falling off the crown of the green forest before her.

She pushed a stray lock of brown hair behind her ear, a little irritated when it wouldn't stay in place. But then again, she had been the one to cut her own hair, just below her chin. It had just seemed right, after…

The sound of wheels crunching over rocks and sand broke into her thoughts, and she turned around to see a car drive up beside her, the windows reflecting in the high afternoon sun.

The door was opened, and a man in a uniform reminiscent of her own, stepped out. A dark, long coat was thrown over, nearly the same color as his ebony hair. He smiled gently at her, brown eyes searching her face.

A gloved hand was stuck out of his pocket, an alchemy symbol on it. She shook it, concluding who he was even before he'd opened his mouth.

"Erica Jordon, right?" He asked as he let go of her hand. Erica nodded, willing herself to smile back. It wasn't too hard, seeing as how he seemed very genuine, but lately, smiling was getting harder and harder.

"You must be Colonel Roy Mustang." She said, her eyes again flowing towards his now hidden hands. "The Flame Alchemist."

There was a twinkle in his eyes, and a smirk on his lips. Erica felt her knees grow just the tiniest bits of soft – she couldn't deny that he was handsome, even if not her type.

"I am." He said. "I assume your father told you about me." The smile was gone as he said that, and he was rapidly searching her face again. She kept her mask of indifference on.

"I was very sad to hear about his dead." He continued. "I and your father were old comrades. We served together under the Ishbalan Civil War."

Erica nodded, looking down because she was afraid her mask would crack. She refused to cry in front of strangers, no matter how good friends they had been with Abraham.

"Yes, he told me a lot about that." She said. "He always spoke very highly of you. That's the reason you where the first I contacted when…" She trailed off and he nodded.

"Yes, of course." The Colonel turned to the side, gesturing towards the still open car-door. "We have to get going Miss Jordon. It's a long way to Central."

Nodding, she grabbed the black suitcase on the ground beside her, and crawled into the car.

They drove in silence for a few minutes, both staring out the window aimlessly. Erica found herself lost in the deep green of the tree-crowns and the grass that flew past faster than her mind could properly register. Her fingers tightened without thought on the hem of the suitcase.

"I am sorry we kept you waiting." Mustang said, breaking into her thoughts. She turned her head, but noticed that he was still staring out the window, albeit clearly paying attention to whatever response she would have.

"That's all right." She lied. It hadn't been all right at the time, but now the annoyance was as good as gone. There was really nothing she could do about it anyway.

A wry smile flew over Roy's lips.

"There was a few… problems back in Central." A weird look flew over his eyes, and for a moment she was sure he was going to burst out laughing, but then it disappeared just as suddenly as it had come. Erica frowned.

"What kind of problems?" She slowly asked, not wanting to push, but not quite believing that he would get angry either. He seemed too amused for that.

He was still smiling, finally looking at her as he answered.

"Have you ever heard of the Fullmetal Alchemist?"

She frowned for a bit, searching her brain until a bright lamp light inside.

"Oh yeah… Elric or something, right?" She said. "Abra… My dad told he was only twelve when he passed the test." The word 'dad' felt weird in her mouth. She'd never really used it, not even around him. It had seemed… wrong somehow.

"He has a brother, doesn't he?"

Roy nodded. "Yes, he does. He's been on a lot of smaller missions with his brother, and he just returned a few days ago. There was… uh, smaller messes in the aftermath of his return… namely involving a cat and some information's I was reluctant to give…"

Erica eyed him strangely, wondering what a cat had to do with all that, and why he deemed it important for her to know.

"That sounds interesting." She was lying yet again, something she normally didn't like doing, unless it was to get out of trouble. But still, it was important to be polite to the people who were going to take care of her from now on.

She almost made a face at that thought. She didn't need anyone to take care of her. She could do absolutely fine on her own.

And she would be absolutely fine on her own, if it hadn't been for Abraham's unfinished business.

She mentally huffed, glaring at the window. _Way to die right as you are the most needed… _

A small laugh was heard from behind her, and she whipped around, staring at Mustang. He was looking at her with a look she couldn't decipher, something she really didn't like.

"I apologize." He said. "It's just… you looked so much like your father, just there."

She frowned again, not knowing if she should take that as an insult or a compliment. She decided to go with the latter.

"Thank you." She mumbled. "He… he always used to say that I reminded him of my mother."

Roy nodded. "Yes, I met her once. You have her hair-color. But you have his eyes."

Instinctly, she reached upwards, touching the spot under her left eye. That was true. Abraham had always kept bragging about how she had inherited his grey-green eyes. They even had the same shape as his.

She forced herself to smile at him, finding it just a little more genuine than the other ones had been. Colonel Mustang seemed to live up to the expectations her father had put in her.

"Where will I be staying?" She asked, deciding to be just a little more talkative than she had been up until now. Besides, she didn't want to be on completely unfamiliar ground when she came to Central. She needed information.

"Lieutenant Colonel Hughes volunteered to have you staying." Roy said. "He lives in the eastern parts of Central with his wife and daughter. But, you are welcome to stay in a hotel, if you'd prefer that."

She thought about it for a second, staring out the window again while she did so. The landscape hadn't changed much, except it seemed like it had thinned out a little in the trees. They must be in Central soon.

With a start, she realized that this was a test. Abraham had put her through a lot of those when she was younger, and she shouldn't be surprised that the rest of the military would do the same. Even though she had valuable information and was the daughter of a very prized General, they still couldn't be sure if she could be trusted.

"I'd like to stay with Mr. Hughes." She said. "After I've been reassured that it is completely fine with him."

For some reason, the very amused smile on Roy's face, told her she'd somehow just asked a very stupid question.

"It is." He said, clearly trying to keep himself from laughing. "It _really_ is."

*

Erica had never been in Central before, despite the countless of times she'd plagued Abraham of taking her with him. So she could feel a small hint of excitement as the car entered the streets of the city she'd heard so much about.

Struck completely speechless, she looked around at the tall buildings, her eyes hungrily taking everything in. She couldn't keep a smile from breaking out on her face.

It was beautiful here.

But despite the beauty of it all, even Erica, a newcomer, could feel the smallest hint of tension layering everything around the city. It was smothering the streets like a light fog. People where inhaling it without even noticing.

"The Fuhrer's still here." Roy said, a sentence clearly more directed at himself than her. She turned her head, looking at him in puzzlement. How could he know that? Following his gaze, her own eyes nearly flew out of her sockets at the sight before her.

Before the gate of the military Headquarters, stood the tallest and most gigantic man Erica had ever seen. Clad in the blue military uniform (_how the hell had they found a size that fit??)_ and with a giant smile on his mustached'ed face, he waved at them as the car stopped to a halt. In one long stride, he was at her door, opening it and looking at her with kind eyes.

"Welcome to Central, Miss Jordon!" He said, shaking the hand she'd reached out at him (part of her wanting to see if he was really real. How could someone be so tall?), and particularly _lifting_ her out of the car, placing her on the ground beside him.

"I am Major Alex Louis Armstrong!" He declared, and Erica could have sworn she saw a pink sparkle or two flew around him.

"H-hello…" Erica faintly mumbled, craning her neck to look at the face of the Major. "I'm… I'm… Erica."

"Indeed!" He boomed, and Erica found herself wondering how the hell she was even able to see his smile behind that giant, blonde thing on his upper-lip…

"You forgot your suit-case." She jumped a little as Roy suddenly stood beside her, handing her the named item. She possessively snatched it out of his hands, sending him an apologetic smirk in the meantime. He looked like he understood.

"Colonel." Armstrong suddenly went serious, turning to the other man. They nodded at each other, Roy still smirking.

"I'll take Miss Jordon to my office now." Roy said, drumming lightly at her shoulder. "Then we'll talk later."

Unspoken words where passed between them, and curiosity welled up in her. However, with that came a voice that shouted a name.

"Wait… Armstrong?" She said, having finally broken out of the daze. "… Major Armstrong… you knew A… My father, didn't you?"

A look of complete and utter devastation came over the Major's features. It was a startling change to the before so bright smile, and Erica thought that he suddenly looked like what he really was; a soldier who'd seen more than his fair share of death and despair.

"Yes. An irreplaceable loss to us all!" He said, and Erica thought she saw a glimmer of tears in her eyes. She didn't know if she should be moved by it all, or simply scared. He placed a hand on her shoulder, and she felt her knees buckle under his weight. Argh!

"He was a very great friend."

Erica suddenly found that she was the one with tears in her eyes. Swallowing the bump in her throat, she couldn't do anything but nod.

Turning her head and looking at the Headquarters, she suddenly found it looking eerily much like a giant, scaring castle.

The kind that had monsters in them.

* * *

_**Really hoped you liked, and don't forget to review, if you want to see Erica meeting Hughes in the next chapter! (That is going to be so hilarious). Questions, critique, I will accept anything with open arms, except for flames, which will instead be used for Roy's enjoyment!**_


	2. In Media Res

_**A/N – I think I'll normally post on Fridays, but seeing as how the imagination struck me and I was done, I wanted to update now. I also wanted to update before I have to take off, so it's not checked for spelling mistakes and grammar and stuff. Feel free to point it out for me, if I've forgotten something!**_

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**In Media Res**

"_Abraham?"_

_The man standing over his papers sighed, setting them aside on his desk and turned towards his daughter. _

"_What is it Erica?"_

_The ten-year old girl hesitated, shuffling her feet a little and staring at the floor. _

"_Have you ever been to Central?"_

_Abraham frowned, sitting down on the chair beside him. _

"_Yes, of course I've been to Central. Many times. Haven't I already told you this?" His look suddenly softened as he looked at the girl. "That's where I met your mother."_

_The girl's head whipped up, and she looked at her father with sparkling eyes. _

"_Really?" She asked, walking closer. "You never told me that!"_

"_I didn't? Well… that must have been a mistake." He stared off into the window, and Erica patiently folded her hands behind her back. After several minutes of staring into space, before he loudly cleared his throat and looked down at his desk. _

"_I need to get these reports done Erica. I will tell you another time."_

_A little disappointed, but deciding not to dwell more on it, Erica turned around and tripped away again. _

_*_

She wasn't sure why that particular memory had flashed in her mind as she was sitting there in the hallway, waiting for Roy to finish his meeting.

Maybe it was some sort of coping. Ever since her father died, several memories from her childhood had resurfaced. Some things she was surprised she'd forgotten and some she wondered why she could remember at all – some had so little meaning, while others spoke heavy in volumes to her.

This one however, she wasn't sure where to categorize. On some levels, it didn't seem to matter – on the other hand, it was another disappointing moment.

Abraham had never told the story about her mother. If he'd forgotten or simply not wanted to, she would never know. She knew already then, that it didn't pay off to ask him.

Erica sometimes wondered if her upbringing would have been different if her mother had still been alive. Maybe her father wouldn't have been so harsh. His eyes always got softer whenever he spoke of her mother.

She looked up when she sensed someone approaching, and was surprised when the first thing she saw was a soft sky of smoke. She immedeatly frowned, remembering how much her father had disliked smokers.

She lifted her gaze, meeting the ones of the military man, curiously looking at her. He was about Roy's age and had ruffled blonde hair and a big smile on his lips. The smile made him seem much more boyish and she had to bite the inside of her cheek to smile back, instead sending him a curious look.

"Hello." He said, throwing the cigarette to the ground and molding it into the ground with the heel of his boot. "I'm Lieutenant Havoc."

"Erica Jordon." She said, taking his out-reached hand and shaking it.

"Jordon… where have I heard that before?" He asked, probably more himself than her, as he let go of her hand again.

"Are you one of Colonel Mustang's men?" Erica asked. He nodded, and she smirked slightly at him.

"Then you probably heard hit from him. Abraham Jordon was a State Alchemist and served in the Ishbal War along with him."

"Of course! Now I remember!" Havoc snapped his fingers, smiling even more brightly, and Erica couldn't help but wonder how someone could smile that widely. Not that she minded it, it just seemed… weird.

"Do you mind if I sit?" He then asked, pointing at the chair beside her. Erica shook her head and he sat down beside her, flicking his fingers.

"So, you're Abraham's daughter, huh?"

Erica just nodded, not quite sure what to say.

"I'm… um… I'm sorry for your loss…" He then mumbled, staring into the distance. Erica turned around, part of her wanting to smile at him and tell him that 'it was all right', but the other part wanted to scream and shout and tell him that he _didn't_ feel sorry, that he _couldn't_ feel sorry, because he hadn't known Abraham and if he had, he bloody well _wouldn't_ be sorry.

For just a second, she was shocked by all these emotions, running through her like a hurricane, faster than she could grasp all of them. A voice in the back of her head told her that it was a way of dealing with sorrow. And she'd been pushing her sorrow away for all too long.

So, she didn't tell him it was all right, but she didn't yell and scream at him either.

Instead, she just shrugged.

"It's fine." She mumbled. "He actually wasn't… wasn't that good of a dad."

She didn't know why she said it. Didn't know why she felt the need to get out with something like that (another way of coping perhaps?), but something about Lieutenant Havoc just made talking easier. He seemed like some kind of big-brother that would listen no matter what you rambled on about, and then didn't judge you afterwards.

Maybe it was also easier because he was a stranger. She'd never really had anyone she was close to – a few friends at her house, the chef, and Abraham's brother that would sometimes visit, taking her little nephew with him. But no one she was really close to.

It was Havoc's turn to shrug, digging into his pockets to pull out another cigarette and a lighter. "Do you mind?" He asked. She almost said 'yes' on impulse, but reminded herself that she wasn't her father, and just shook her head.

After lightening it and taking a long drag, Havoc finally answered to her uncanny statement.

"Good or not." He slowly said. "He was still your dad."

Erica made a small noise, half between a snort and a sigh. She looked down, pretending to be very interested in the tile floor.

"Yeah, he was." She mumbled.

He blew out smoke, and she could feel it prick at her nostrils like an army of ants trying to crawl their way in there. Then it was gone again, and Havoc was studying his cancer-stick, clearly not wanting to look at her, as to not make her feel uncomfortable. She could feel gratitude swelling in her stomach, but pressed it down to listen to his next words.

"I and my father don't have the best of relationships either." He said. "Our conversations are mostly made out of shouting… but… I still love him and he still loves me. And it's not like we can't even stay in the room together with each other."

An emotionless smile flittered over Erica's face.

"I can't remember ever arguing with my… with Abraham. No matter how much I disagreed with him – and most of the time, I did – I knew it would never help to raise my voice." Was that tears she could feel at the back of her lids? "He wasn't cruel not at all, he just… he was a military man at heart. I grew up with orders. In a world that consisted of black and white – likes and dislikes, evil and good, allowed and not allowed."

She wasn't sure if he'd understand it, but the silence wasn't tense. It was actually more comforting than anything. He was willing to listen, despite the fact that they'd known each other for about three minutes.

"When I was twelve I fell down a three and broke my arm several places. It hurt so much I cried all night." She laughed a little, mostly at herself. How silly.

"That was the first and only time he ever hugged me." She stated. "He wasn't a man to show much emotion."

"He was a military man." Havoc said. "One of the best. What is it that alchemists always say? Equivalent Exchange. You have to sacrifice something to gain something."

"I know." Erica mumbled. "Just a shame someone has to sacrifice their families for a good career."

She knew she sounded bitter, but she couldn't quite help it. She'd known for a long time that she wasn't part of what was considered a normal, happy family.

She never had, and she probably never would be.

_Don't be so dark!_ She thought to herself. _You're an adult; you're free to do whatever you want with your life!_

She shook her head, trying to clear out her thoughts.

"I apologize." She said. "I didn't mean to…"

Havoc held up his hands, sending her a half-smirk. "That's all right. Sometimes people needs to… talk."

She nodded, relived that he understood. She could feel heat rise to her cheeks at the thought of having blabbered on without him wanting to listen.

Havoc opened his mouth, but before he could say anything further, the door to the Fuhrer's office opened, and Colonel Mustang stood before her again.

"Ready to go?" He asked, smiling slightly at her. Erica clutched the handle of her suitcase.

"But… didn't the Fuhrer want and audience with me…?" She trailed off, not entirely understanding. Something odd flickered in Roy's eyes, but it was gone before she could decipher it.

"Later. He's busy right now." He greeted Havoc who did the same, before quickly jumping up and bidding Erica farewell.

"I'll probably see you later." He said. Erica shook his hand, and smiled – for real this time – at him. She could feel just a tiny bit of the burden that had been placed on her shoulder's lift, and she was eternally grateful for that.

"Hughes won't be available until tonight, so I'm afraid you're stuck with me." Roy said, smiling gently at her. Erica stood up, looking down at her bag.

"That's all right. But what am I supposed to do with this…?"

Roy frowned, stepping a little closer.

"Is your father's materials in there?" He softly asked. Erica nodded – why did she suddenly feel like words would be too hard to get out?

"Then it's probably best you keep them with you. I have to do some paperwork…" He trailed off, sighing deeply as if in great pain. Erica sent him an odd and somewhat amused look. "But you can… uh…" His face suddenly brightened. "Hawkeye is off work today! So I could need an extra hand if you're interested?"

She knew she couldn't be separated from the bag right now, and it was too dangerous to wander around Central alone with it, no matter how much she wanted to.

"Okay." She said. "Just tell me what to do."

*

"My Fuhrer?"

"No one is listening. What is it Sloth?"

The woman tugged a stray of brown hair behind her ear, looking down at the document in her hand.

"It says here that Abraham Jordon was one of our biggest researchers on the Philosophers Stone." She said. "At least, under the Ishbal Civil War. After that, he seems to have given it up, though he still worked for the military."

Bradley nodded, absently staring at the closed curtains. He was standing before the window, arms linked behind his back.

"I know." He said. "I had the pleasure to meet him once."

The eye beneath the patch twisted a bit at the memory. He shrugged it off, closing his all seeing eye yet again.

"His daughter has his reports." Sloth continued. "She might be valuable to our cause."

"She went to the military with them – seems Mr. Jordon found something else after the War. Something he didn't report in."

"Should I bring her in?" Sloth asked, her eyes rising from the paper. She only barely noticed how Pride tensed up, even if just for a second, but then he seemed to relax again.

"No." He answered. "Not yet. I want to take a look at those papers before we do anything to drastic."

Turning around, his eye narrowed, glaring at the shadows.

"Is that understood Envy? No messing around with the new girl, all right?"

A snort was heard, and a brief flash of white teeth as the other sin smiled.

"Like I would _ever_ do that…"

Bradley didn't answer.

* * *

**A/N**

_**I realized that I said Hughes would be in this, but I wanted to get it done before I took off (movie-night, yay!), and I had some different ideas I wanted to put in. **_

_**I hope you like it anyway – a short notice for Envy, hope you liked the scene! And I hope you also like the scene between Havoc and Erica… he always seemed like the big brother/listener type, and as explained above, sometimes it can be really easier to talk to a stranger. **_

_**Don't forget to review and make my plot bunnies happy! (they don't eat carrots, but instead feed from the joy I get from a review, and if I don't get any, they suck the imagination out of my, until it's just an empty shell left… all right, I'll stop with the horror now..)**_


	3. The Devil and the Snake

_**A/N – First of all, I would like to say thanks to all the awesome reviewers! You've really been great, all of you. Thankyou!**_

_**And I am very proud and happy to state that I'VE GOT A BETA!! Wohooo! Everybody, say hello to faithful reader and reviewer; **_**ikldmrogers!**_** This is the first chapter she's betaed (is that a word), and I want to thank her for taking the time. She's gonna be the beta of this story from now on. **_

**The Devil and the Snake**

Apparently 'helping Roy' meant sitting and drawing silly things on his paperwork while he slept. Not that Erica minded so much – after her talk with Havoc, it was nice to sit and think everything through.

Although she did find it very inappropriate that Roy was sleeping on the job. Maybe it was just the insane daughter of a strict military-man rearing her ugly head, but that didn't change the fact that Roy, apparently, was a lazy bastard. She wondered how much he could get away with, by sending his superiors one of those dazzling smiles. But then again, most of the military were men.

The thought of Major Armstrong swooning over Roy made her snicker. Especially because it was very easy to imagine.

Looking down, she realized that she had started drawing the particular scene in her head, and quickly erased it , stealing a glance at Roy to check if he was looking. Luckily he was still snoring away. She almost laughed again when she noticed he was drooling slightly. Shaking her head, she started drawing circles and patterns on the paper instead, her mind wandering far away.

Abraham's office, dark and looming, but mystic and inviting in its own way. Keys hung on the wall, each one having its own form. The shelves were filled with exotic items from exotic places that she could only dream of going to.

She'd started copying Roy's signature (something she was surprisingly good at), when he suddenly awoke with a jolt, his eyes flashing everywhere. Erica quickly covered the paper with her arms, smiling innocently at him.

He looked at her oddly, and she realized that this was the most she'd smiled in a long while – it seemed her talk with Havoc had helped even more than she thought.

"Oh… oh." Roy mumbled, blinking and looking at her. "I must've fallen asleep."

Erica nodded, trying not to smile too much at his frazzled expression.

"You did. You looked tired, so I thought it best not to wake you up." She lied. "But you've only been gone for…" Glancing at the clock, her eyes widened. "… Three hours." Had it really been that long?

Roy's eyes got even wider than hers as he looked at all the paperwork he hadn't completed. Swallowing and mumbling something that sounded very much like 'she's gonna kill me,' he stood up and started rummaging around the desk. Erica discreetly tried slipping her practice paper away, knowing that copying an officer's signature could get her a very hard penalty, even if it was just out of boredom. She could almost hear Abraham's voice, scolding her for it.

Roy suddenly stopped short, his eyes narrowing.

"Hughes should have been here by now." He mumbled, looking at her, and then clearly coming to a decision.

"Is it all right for you to be here alone, while I go search for him?" He asked.

Annoyance seeped into Erica's expression.

"I'm eighteen, Colonel. I think I can handle it." She knew she sounded angry, but she hated being treated as a child.

"Of course. I apologize." Roy said. Erica just nodded, looked down, and started drawing on the other side of the paper.

"I will send one of my men in." Roy said, speaking carefully, as if he was afraid she would explode on him. "To guard your bag, okay?"

Erica nodded again, knowing that he wasn't asking her for permission, merely asking to find out if she was mad about it. But she didn't have the energy to be angry, and she figured his statement was very reasonable – she wanted to protect what was in the bag too, and not even all of the military could be trusted. There were rotten people everywhere.

Roy slipped out the door and Erica was left alone again, with only the ticking off the clock to keep her company. Figuring that it might take a while for the other guy to come, she started flipping through Roy's drawers – one part of her was screaming not to, that this wasn't right and that the door might open anytime, and then she would be in trouble..

But the other part, the part that won out, was the little girl inside of her that had snuck into her father's office once without ever getting caught.

She didn't find anything unexpected; an extra set of gloves, a few numbers accompanied by female names (where the hell did he meet that many??!) and a lot of unfinished paperwork. Some of it had different names signed on them – _Heymans Breda, Vato Falman, Riza Hawkeye, Kain Fuery and Jean Havoc. _

She stopped short when she saw one signed by the Fuhrer.

Alarm-clocks immediately started going off in her head, and her arms pulled the paper out of the drawer as if having they were acting on their own will.

She stared at it for a long while, and she smiled at the scene that was unfolding in her head – one where a devil and angel appeared on each of her shoulders, and started arguing over the right and wrong of the situation.

In the end, the little red devil was the one to yell the loudest, and she sat the pen against the paper again.

She studied the flow of the writing, the small details and which side it was leaning most against before she started writing, her brow frowned in concentration.

_King Bradley_

No, not good enough. The letters needed to be closer to each other.

_King Bradley_

As she kept writing, it felt as if her mind left her body. She imagined pictures of the deep deserts of Ishbal, the cities of Drachma and he jungles of Xing. All places Abraham had told her about, places she had read about and dreamed about.

_King Bradley_

The door creaked open and she nearly screamed in surprise. The paper fluttered to the floor and she quickly bent down to pick it up. She had to crawl all the way under Roy's desk to reach it.

"Hello? Anyone there?" A light, but boyish voice called out. Erica could see the man's military boots from under the table.

"Yeah, sorry, I'm here." Erica called out, crumbling the paper in her fist while trying to stand up so he could see her. Though her actions only resulted in her banging her head against the desk.

"OW!" She yelled, clutching her head, before letting out a series of swears that would have made Colonel Mustang blush.

"Are you all right?" He asked, poking his head down to her.

Erica nodded, trying to ignore the throbbing in her head, as she studied the man's face.

He was roughly the same age as Roy and Havoc, and the dirty blonde hair and open face somehow reminded her of the latter, although this one seemed more immature in a way. He smiled brightly at her, and if it hadn't been for the headache, she would have smiled back.

"Need some help?" He asked, offering her a hand. She gratefully took it, and got to her legs again.

"I'm Denny Brosh." He introduced himself. "Roy sent me to look after you."

She had to keep herself from scowling and snapping at him that she didn't need a babysitter, but she stopped herself. He was just following orders.

"Erica Jordon." She said, wondering how many times she would have to say her name in one day.

He just nodded, and an awkward silence suddenly settled between them. At least, she found it awkward, though she wasn't so sure about him. He was studying her face rather intently, as if trying to figure something out. She didn't like being scrutinized so closely, and sat down, not knowing what else to do. His eyes never once left her face.

"So… uh… how long have you been working for the Colonel?" She got out, desperate to break the silence. Her fingers had tightened around the paper-ball, and she could feel the jarred edges cutting softly into her palm. She could just imagine the blood coloring the paper pink, although it probably didn't cut deep enough.

"Oh, well I don't work directly under Mu… Colonel Mustang." Denny said, his gaze finally flickering away from her face (_had he even blinked?)_

"But I worked with him on… uh, a few occasions. He seemed very busy when he asked me to keep you company until he could return."

Erica sat down in Roy's chair, looking closely at Denny.

"Yeah, he was trying to find someone." She said. "So, when did you guys start to work together?"

Denny wrinkled his nose, sitting on the edge of the desk, much too close for her liking.. He looked deep in thought, as if trying to remember a forgotten memory.

"He helped me solve a murder once. Oh, and he also assigned me to watch over some little pipsqueak-scrawl once. Stupid kid kept coming into trouble."

Erica's eyebrows lifted upwards in surprise. Denny didn't act like any Military-man would – while Roy sleeping on the job was some sort of rebellion, it wasn't anything like this. This Denny acted as if he didn't care what he said or who he said it to – it was his opinion and therefore it mattered.

What a jackass.

"Interesting." Erica mumbled, keeping a close eye on him. He had let his eyes wander around the room, but she knew better. He did the same trick Abraham used to do on her if she was invited to one of those meetings or dinner-parties of his. Always keeping an eye on her, knowing what she was doing, even if his back was turned. She could never comprehend how he had done it, but clearly, Denny Brosh was doing the same.

"What's in the big black bag?" He asked, a wide smile on his face as if he'd said something extremely witty and funny. Erica's foot immediately shot out, pushing the bag under the chair she was currently resting in.

"Nothing of your concern." She nearly hissed, suspicions rising inside of her. Why did he want to know?

Maybe it was just her being paranoid, but she could have sworn she saw a flash of anger run through his eyes. And despite being used to suppressing fear, she found herself somewhat scared.

She suddenly remembered her thoughts about monsters. Horror had been the first thing to enter her mind as she saw the military Headquarters. Was it just the situation, the loss of her father and the pressure of handling his unfinished business, or was it some sort of intuition, an old 'danger-instinct' that warned and helped her?

Whatever it was, she'd decided that she didn't like Denny Brosh.

He shrugged, looking away again. "Sorry. Just asking."

She frowned, relaxing a little. Maybe he _was_ just asking. Maybe she was just overreacting. Being curious about something like that was in the human nature. That didn't change the fact that she couldn't tell him, though.

Erica noticed he'd started looking at her papers that where still scattered everywhere over the desk, and she had a sudden impulse to hide them from his gaze. But of course, she just sat still, watching him closely in the meantime.

And that was the only reason why she noticed that he suddenly stiffened, his eyes widening. She let her gaze follow his, and stopped short when she noticed what he was staring at.

"_What is that? Abraham? What is that?" _

_He'd looked down in annoyance, but it had softened a little at the clear question in his daughters eyes. Five-year old Erica had pulled at his sleeve, the other hand pointing at a paper that was sticking halfway out of a drawer. On it was scribbled various sketches, mainly of the same drawing, but in different size and coloring. _

"_That is an ouroboros." He patiently explained. "Do you see the snake is eating its own tail?" He asked, running a finger along the drawing after pulling the paper out. Erica nodded, completely captivated by it. _

"_Its recreation dear. The snake is recreating itself by eating itself."_

_Erica's nose wrinkled in confusion. "But… why is it eating itself… why does it do that? I mean, he's kinda destroying himself, isn't he? And if he stopped eating himself then he wouldn't have to recre… recre…"_

"_Recreate itself." Abraham helped. _

"_Exactly! So that's just stupid…"_

_He smiled slightly. "Yes, it seems to be Erica. But that is the nature of the world."_

_Erica shrugged, accepting the explanation. She then pointed at the sign inside the snake. _

"_What about this one? The star? Why is that there?"_

_She hadn't noticed her father's somewhat worried expression. _

"_I am actually not sure Erica. I'm not sure…"_

She didn't know why the memory had struck. She didn't know why she could remember that snake, the ouroboros down to the smallest detail. But it had been one of the things she had been drawing while bored, and now Denny was staring at it, as if he'd seen a ghost.

He quickly recovered however, picking it up and looking at it closely.

"What is this?" He asked, though something in his voice suggested he already knew. Erica folded her arms over her chest.

"It's an ouroboros." She explained. "It is the sign for recreation."

"Ah. I see." He said, his eyes falling on her over the top of the paper.. She immediately felt very self-conscious.

"Then why is the star there?"

She froze, instinctly getting to her feet. The way he had said it, the smile on his face.

Why had he asked the exact same question she had??

She couldn't as much as open her mouth, before the door was thrown open and a high 'Erica, DUCK!' made her do exactly as asked. She flew under the desk for the second time, watching in amazement as a flicker of black and green disappeared out the window, bullets flying everywhere.

"Erica! Erica, are you all right?" Roy ran over to the desk, as the girl poked her head out from under it.

"I'm fine." She lied. To be honest, she was pretty shaken up, but mostly over the fact that she had been alone with whatever it was. A monster.

And he'd taken her drawing with him, she realized as she looked at the desk. Strange.

"What happened?" She slowly asked. Roy sent her a sharp look. She now noticed he was accompanied by one of the agents she had seen outside the Fuhrer's office, Havoc, and another military-man with brown hair and glasses.

"Who did he say he was?" Roy asked, sounding as if he was interrogating a suspect of murder or something. Erica blinked, confused.

"Uh… what?"

"His name?!"

She slowly realized that, one; Roy wasn't Abraham and hadn't gotten mad at her for sneaking into his office, and two; he wasn't upset with her, simply worried or perhaps a little angry at himself.

"Denny Brosh." She said. Roy and the man with glasses exchanged looks.

"He wasn't." Roy said. "Denny Brosh left for service in Briggs nearly two months ago."

"Risky, taking on a form like that." Glass-man said. "Anyone could have walked in and raised the alarm."

"Yes, but he had a quick way of escaping." Roy noted, glancing at Erica.. "And a hostage."

She felt a little insulted by that.

"You didn't show or tell him anything, did you?" Roy asked. Erica glared.

"I'm not stupid Colonel." She said. "I told him nothing but my name."

Roy just nodded, muttering a 'good' and dismissing Havoc and the other man. Erica noticed that Glass-man was looking closely at her.

"She _talks_ like Jordon, doesn't she?" He asked Roy, breaking out into a huge grin. Erica was confused by his statement, but even more so when he marched up to her, poking out a hand.

"Yo! I'm Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes! I am so pleased to finally meet you Erica, and very sorry that I was busy. It was my wife you see…" He said, shaking her hand as if trying to break it off. Erica stared at him in shock. Behind them, Roy looked as if he was deep in pain from containing his laughter.

"… You see, she's so very busy these days, with little Elysia… Oh! My little Elysia, she's gotten so big – would you like to see some pictures??"

_**A/N**_

_**It should be noted that I DON'T think Armstrong is gay, just because he's very sensitive. But the idea is still funny, I think. **_

_**Don't forget to make those little bunnies happy! **__Press the review button!!_


	4. Incurable Suspicions

**A/N – **_**I would like to thank ikldmrogers, for yet again betaing, and for suggesting the chapter title. Thank you so much for all of your help!**_

_**So, this chapter got out quicker than I expected, because inspiration struck me as I was having a few moments of freedom. I am going away in the weekend, so I won't have time to write chapter five there, but I have a lot of free time next week, so expect the next chapter soon!**_

_**Enjoy!**_

* * *

**Incurable Suspicions**

If Erica had to describe the last three weeks with one word, it would be 'odd'.

As a young girl, she'd spent most of her time either being tutored by Abraham or one of his stuck-up military friends. When she wasn't doing that, she was trying to find something to entertain herself. And that had been, more often than not, by reading books from her mother's collection. They could be anything; sappy romance stories, boring bricks about how to properly breed and train a dog or horror-books that made her sit up till the dead of night, shaking in fear of what the shadows might hide.

And after that much reading experience, she'd discovered two things – one: she enjoyed her time alone, and two: odd was not necessarily a bad thing.

Living with Hughes and his family had pushed and destroyed a lot of the mental walls she'd kept around herself. First of all, she didn't get nearly as much time alone. She was always either helping with something or being forced to play with Elysia.

And to her surprise, Erica found that she didn't mind it.

She of course knew the reasons for her not having any siblings; her mother had died giving birth to her, and Abraham had never been able to love another woman. Hence, no siblings.

But when playing with Elysia she'd found a burning desire for one. Whenever the little girl would declare that the giant purple mass of nothingness on her paper was indeed a giant dragon with its head missing, Erica couldn't help but see why Hughes freaked out so much about her. Why he felt the need to brag and show a picture of her every time the possibility arose, simply because he was so proud. And so happy.

That was what she'd realized this family was; happy.

"Erica, could you help me for a moment?"

"Of course." She quickly got up from her seat on the couch where she'd been absently sitting and staring out the window for a few minutes, letting thoughts run through her head. She walked into the kitchen where Gracia was standing, balancing two heavy bags filled with groceries.

"Could you be a dear and put these in the basket outside?" She said before Erica could open her mouth. A bag filled with what felt like soda cans was thrust into her waiting arms, and she turned around to walk outside.

The chilly evening air hit her as the door closed behind her. She pulled the hood of her sweat-shirt over her short, brown hair; eyes searching for the basket Gracia had instructed her to put the cans in.

Finding it at the end of the garden, she quickly strolled over the grass, all pleasant thoughts leaving her head like rats on a sinking ship. She had a feeling she was being watched.

She stopped in front of the basket, letting her eyes wander over the trees, houses, and gardens around her. Nothing. Not even the shadow of a cat disappearing silently around the corner.

This was odd – bad odd. She'd never been scared of the dark before. Or ghosts or anything like that.

Not since…

She shuddered just thinking about it. She quickly emptied the bags in the basket and turned around to stroll back inside…

…and screamed out in surprise when she collided with a hard chest and stomach.

She stumbled backwards, but a giant fist flew out and caught her before she could fall over. She craned her neck, looking up in surprise at the man before her.

"Miss Jordon, are you quite all right?" Armstrong's deep velvet voice cascaded down on her. Erica sighed in relief.

"Yes, I'm fine Major." She said, steadying herself. "You just gave me a scare." After half a second of thought, she quickly added; "Thank you for catching me."

"Of course! Saving damsels in distresses has been a tradition in the Armstrong-line for generations!" Armstrong bellowed, probably waking up half the neighbors. Erica was just a little surprised when he didn't take off his shirt.

"Right." She mumbled, ignoring the angry voice in her head that screamed she wasn't helpless.

Problem was, the voice was wrong.

She shook the thoughts off, while noticing she didn't feel like she was being watched anymore. Had it just been the approach of Armstrong her survival-instincts had sensed? Was she just being paranoid again?

"So, what are you doing here?" She asked, her eyes glancing from Armstrong to the house. She wondered why she hadn't heard him walking towards her, no matter how lost in her thoughts she was, it should have been easy to hear his approach. Was it even possible for someone that gigantic to walk so silently? Maybe it was some kind of alchemy trick, though she'd never heard of something like that before. It was either that, or he was from another planet.

The latter seemed very likely.

"I have a message for Lieutenant Colonel Hughes." Armstrong said. "But it appears he isn't home."

Erica shook her head. "No, not yet. Late night at office." She narrowed her eyes. "Why couldn't you just talk to him there? Or phone him or something?"

Something shifted in Armstrong's eyes and for just a split second, Erica was afraid she'd done something wrong, that he would raise his voice just the slightest and demand her to go back to her room and stay there for the rest of the night.

For just the smallest of seconds she'd forgotten that Armstrong wasn't Abraham. The difference became very evident when Armstrong's face broke into a wide smile.

"You are as perceptive as your father, dear Erica!" He laughed, clearly enjoying her puzzlement. Erica couldn't help but grimace, but he didn't see it.

"Alright," She mumbled. "But you still haven't answered my question."

"It's classified." Armstrong said immediately, and Erica got the feeling she'd been wrong about him. He definitely wasn't just a brute military-man with huge muscles and the weirdest personality to date. He was much cleverer than she had given him credit for.

She could feel her curiosity demanding her to get an answer, but she forced down the impulse. Living with Abraham had taught her that 'classified' was Military-speak for 'If I told you, I'd have to kill you'..

"I'll just wait inside." He said, turning around but stopping again, clearly waiting for her. She picked up the bag she'd accidently dropped when walking into him, and sped up so that she was walking in front of him instead of behind him. She could have sworn she heard him chuckle behind her.

As they reached the door, she dropped her stubbornness and allowed him to enter first. She turned around in the door-way, letting her eyes wander over the dark grounds for a few seconds. Still, there was nothing to be seen.

So she _had_ just been paranoid. Sighing in relief, she walked in and closed the door after her.

Armstrong was already seated at the table, talking in low voices with Gracia. As Erica walked into the room they immediately went silent. Elysia, who was sitting at the floor and drawing, looked up at her before jumping to her legs and running over to her.

"Erica! Erica! Look what I drawed!" She brawled. Erica couldn't help but smile slightly at her.

"Honey, it's 'drew'."

Elysia stopped short, her brow furrowing as if Erica was talking nonsense. She felt Armstrong and Gracia's eyes on her, though she decided to ignore them and instead crouched down in front of the little girl.

"Never mind. Can I see?" She asked, motioning to the drawing. Elysia smiled again, handing her the piece of paper.

She looked at the white piece, smeared over with blue, green, and red. After a few moments of hesitation, she tilted her head to the side, trying to see what it was.

She could hear Gracia chuckle and Elysia sigh deeply as if she was doing a very stupid thing.

"It's you!" She proclaimed, ripping the drawing out of her hands. "Can't you see?" She pointed to it, and Erica sheepishly leaned over to watch.

"_That_ is your hair. And this is your arms and your legs and that's your eyes and mouth. I couldn't make a nose, so it just became a dot."

"Elysia…" Erica started, not quite sure what to say. "… Why is my hair green?"

"Because… because… because your eyes are green! And your hair is dark, but I only had a light brown, and if I had to make your eyes green, they would look too big for your head and that would be stupid, so your _hair_ became green instead."

Erica nodded, smiling slightly, but could feel a knot form in her stomach. She could feel cold air creep under her clothes, like a fog trying to scare her. She'd only ever had that feeling once.

Twice if you counted her first day in Central…

… _A flicker of black and green disappeared out the window, bullets flying everywhere…_

She shuddered. She was still trying to suppress the memory of that person, that _thing_, whatever it was, that had interrogated her. That she had been _alone_ with her. It scared Erica, but also intrigued her in a morbid sort of way. He'd had to chance to kill her, to kidnap her or whatever. She had been completely at his (_it's?)_ mercy.

But he hadn't done anything.

Of course, that wasn't the memory that scared her the most. Far from it.

*

_She'd been awake as he stepped into the room. The cigarette smoke reaching her nostrils immediately told her it was Havoc. Peeping one eye opened, she cracked him a sleepy smile. _

"_Time to wake up miss." He said to her. Erica yawned and sat up, squeezing her eyes shut as he opened the curtains. The bright sunlight hit her eyes directly, making them hurt. _

_She groaned as he playfully shook her shoulder. _

"_Come on, you have to meet the Fuhrer in less than an hour."_

_Her eyes immediately popped open, and before he could so much as exhale the smoke that had just entered his lungs, she was out of the bed, the bathroom door closing behind her with a loud sound. _

_Havoc chuckled. _

*

To say that she had been nervous was an understatement.

She'd heard so much about him. About the Fuhrer. Both bad and good. She'd heard the priest of the town she'd grown up in speak about all the good he had done, the way he had gotten rid of all those Ishbalans. The heathens, betrayers to Amestris.

She'd asked Abraham after that, what he thought of the Fuhrer. He'd gone silent for a long while, and it had been the kind of silence that feels like a heavy curtain's just been draped over you, slowly but securely sucking out your breath and life.

Then he'd spoken, slowly and casually, as if thinking long and hard about his words.

And that was when she'd realized that the Fuhrer wasn't as good as people made him to be.

Erica didn't realize she'd 'inherited' her father's prejudices against the man before she was standing in front of his office-door, waiting for a call-in. She sat down on the bench, the same one she'd been sitting the day before when Roy had been with him. The black suitcase was clutched tightly in her hand.

She nearly jumped when the door was opened. She lifted her gaze and her eyes found a woman in a light brown suit with brown hair falling in front of her face, covering most of her eyes. Erica idly wondered what color they were.

"You can come in now." The woman (_the Fuhrer's secretary perhaps?) _said, nodding towards the office. Erica stood up on shaky legs, walking inside the door.

She'd nearly stopped up in shock when she passed the woman. Cold fear had hit her almost instinctively, and she could have sworn she felt something cold and wet run down her neck. She turned around, but the woman wasn't there.

"Ah, Miss Jordon." A friendly baritone voice said. Erica slowly turned around, and her eyes went wide when she saw the Fuhrer seated behind his desk, his secretary standing right next to him.

_How had she moved so fast?_

If they were trying to intimidate and/or scare her, it was certainly working.

"Good-day sir." She said, completely forgetting how to properly greet the Fuhrer. Had Abraham even taught her that? She snorted when she imagined what he might be thinking about that.

_He can't think Jordon; he's dead you foolish girl!_

"I know you would probably like to get stationed at Lieutenant Colonel Hughes home as quickly as possible, so we are going to go straight to business, alright?" Fuhrer Bradley said, standing up. Erica swallowed, suddenly understanding why this man could rule a whole country. There was so much authority in his voice!

"Uh… yes, thank you sir." Erica said. He smiled at her, and Erica was shocked to find that it frightened her.

She couldn't understand why. Fuhrer King Bradley had a kind, open face. The eye patch and the scars made him look worn and older than he probably was, the uniform and the sword made him seem more edgy, but that was, after all, what he was; a military-man.

Then why did one smile make her lungs feel like they were breathing under-water?

"Can I see Abraham's files?" He asked, though she – of course – knew it wasn't a question. He was just being polite. She suddenly found that a part of her wouldn't like to give Abraham's research up to this man. Of course, she had no choice. She'd put herself in this position.

She placed the suitcase on the table and he nodded, studying it closely without opening it. It was then that it hit her, that he was one of the only ones that directly referred to her father as 'Abraham' instead of 'your father' when speaking of him with her.

Despite the fact that it was what she wanted, she found herself sick to the core by it. From what she could gather, Abraham had despised this man. It didn't seem right that Bradley got to speak his name.

Her hands balled into fists as he reached for the lock, and her fingernails dug into the skin of her palm, a desperate attempt to keep from screaming as he looked at her father's research.

This was _wrong!_

Suddenly he looked up, his one eye staring hardly at her.

"Have you seen what is in these files?" He asked.

"No." Erica said. "Only a short look. I didn't understand any of it, but it seemed important. I know A… My dad was doing research for the Government. These papers were in the same file, classified as very important. Also, they were the only ones left that seemed worth a look."

She was lying. She had read all the files through, and had understood the most of it. Abraham hadn't raised a fool for a daughter.

But all of her instincts screamed that it would be wrong, would be foolish, would be like placing loaded gun to her head and firing if she revealed too much to this man.

But she would tell him one thing; something she hadn't mentioned once, even to Roy. Something King Bradley had caught onto instantly.

"'The only ones left?'" The Fuhrer quoted, looking at her with a question in his eye. Erica nodded, and a sense of déjà vu overcame her. Why did she get the feeling that he already knew this?

She cleared her throat, loosening her hands a little before her palms started bleeding.

"Right before he… before he died, Ab… my father set all of his research on fire." Erica slowly said. "Except for this and whatever else seemed harmless."

An eyebrow was quirked upwards. Erica swallowed. Had it been this dark in the office all along? And when had the door closed?

"Interesting." Bradley said, with a tone of voice that indicated it wasn't very interesting at all. "I am very sorry for your loss. I would have never expected Abraham Jordon of all people to…"

"That's alright sir." Erica cut in, knowing that it was probably rude to interrupt the Fuhrer, but not caring about that now. She didn't want to listen to another tirade, like the one both Hughes and Roy had given her last night after 'Denny' had escaped.

"The Ishbalan war did a lot of good, but many soldiers came back with scars." Bradley slowly continued. The (_fake!_) sympathy in his eye made her want to vomit.

"Yes." Erica mumbled. "Just a shame it could drive such a devoted man to suicide."

* * *

**A/N**

_**Hope you liked! Don't forget to review. Critism is just as welcome as lovely roses. Flames however, will be used for Roy's enjoyment. **_

_**Can't wait to hear from you. And for those of you who miss him, Envy will come again soon, I promise!**_


	5. Whisper

**Disclaimer; **_**I own nothing. Not Hughes or Armstrong or Elysia or Gracia or Envy (sigh, wish I did). I do however, own Erica. Although, sometimes it feels more like she owns me. Alas, I do not own Skillet or their songs either. But you already knew that, didn't you?**_

_**This chapter starts directly where the other one ended. Enjoy :)**_

_**Oh, and I should say that the next chapter will be written in Envy's point of view! Dadadadaaaaam! Review if you want to see it ^^ AND! I know I used the name 'Rafael' again (which I've used in another story too) but it fit. The quotes about love belong to Amy Tan and Lily Tomlin, respectively. **_

**Whisper**

_No  
you'll never be alone  
When darkness comes I'll light the night with stars  
Hear my whispers in the dark_

(Skillet – Whispers in the Dark)

"Erica! Eriiicaaaaa...." Elysia's voice broke through Erica's thoughts and she looked down in surprise.

"Oh. Sorry honey. I was just thinking about something else." Erica said, shaking off the memory. She glanced to the side and noticed Gracia was walking into the kitchen while Armstrong's eyes were still watching her with a thoughtful expression. She quickly looked back down at Elysia.

"It's a really pretty drawing." She said, forcing a smile. "Can I see the rest you made?"

Elysia's eyes sparkled, but just then Gracia came back from the kitchen.

"I'm afraid that is going to have to wait until the morning." She said. "It's past your bed-time sweetheart."

Elysia's face fell slightly, and Erica quickly promised to play with her tomorrow. It wasn't as if she had anything else to do, and she liked making the little girl happy. As Gracia led Elysia out, Erica walked over to the table, seating herself next to Armstrong.

"So, are you in any way involved with my father's research?" She asked, hoping that he would falter just a little under a direct attack. She was rewarded when a small glint of surprise came forth in his eyes, though it was quickly gone. He started smiling at her again.

"I'm not sure I am permitted to discuss such things outside of the Fuhrer's watchful eye."

Erica lifted an eyebrow. "Do you mean that, _if_ the Fuhrer was here, you could tell me?"

"I probably couldn't." Armstrong said. "You'd have to ask him."

Erica shivered, almost involuntarily. The mere thought gave her goosebumps. It seemed nearly ridiculous that she would walk into the Fuhrer's office alone. Almost as stupid as jumping inside a lion's mouth, with the hope it wouldn't close.

"But I will be informed, right?" She asked, the uncertainty clear in her voice. "I mean, it is _my_ father's research after all."

A solemn look came on Armstrong's face, and she knew he felt sorry for her. Although she hated getting pity from others, she also knew that he would tell her the truth now.

"Probably not, Erica. Abraham's research was very important, but it is also classified. You shouldn't expect too much information on the matter."

Erica sighed. She shouldn't be surprised. It was how the Military worked. And she was an outsider. She'd made the choice to deliver the research to the military after Abraham's death, and it was a choice she's have to live with.

"But when will the investigation be over?" Erica asked. "They have to tell me that, right? So they can give me the green light to leave town."

Armstrong looked surprised. "You wish to leave?"

"I..." Erica knew she might have said too much. But Armstrong was just so easy to talk to, it had slipped right out.

"I haven't…" She started, not sure how to express herself properly. "I've always wanted to travel. But A… but my dad never approved. I'd actually started making plans as soon as I turned eighteen, but then…" She trailed off, not needing to say anymore and not wanting to either. He knew what she was going to say next..

Armstrong's look softened, and if she'd seen him with that look out of his uniform, she would have never guessed that he was a man of the military. A man of war. Someone that killed.

"I hope you know your father loved you." He said, very slowly. "I only met him once, but that was enough. He was a good man. And he would never stand in the way of your plans. He was just afraid to lose you."

Erica gritted her teeth together, trying very hard not to grimace at his words. Of course Abraham had loved her. She was his daughter. It was an obligation. Just like it had been an obligation for her to love him back.

But she'd always felt like some sort of tool in his hands. Like he had a certain view of how she was supposed to turn out, and she'd never live up to his expectations. She was a disappointment. It was something that had become more and more evident to her when she saw the way Hughes acted around Elysia. It also became painfully clear as soon as she had felt the uselessness of not being able to help with his research.

Despite having done the right thing, a nagging voice in the back of her head kept telling her that he would have been even more disappointed in her now.

And that was definitely part of it, this burning ache in her chest that told her that she had to leave it all behind, find somewhere new to be, where Abraham couldn't haunt her anymore. She was running away.

But the other part of her was terrified. The part that wanted to get as far away from here as soon as possible.

Of course, she couldn't do that. She still had an obligation to stay and check on the investigation. Which brought her back to the man in front of her and the conversation they were having.

"I just want to see more of the world." She said, finally regaining her voice. "Maybe go to Xing or Drachma or somewhere far off."

There was understanding in his eyes now. "Somewhere you're not Abraham's daughter?"

Erica couldn't help but laugh, a little bitter. It sounded so stupid, coming out in the open now. Absolutely ridiculous. You couldn't run from who you are.

"Yeah." She half-lied, not wanting to blurt out her other reasons. They were too private.

Armstrong nodded, sighing deeply. "I'll see what I can do Erica; but I can't promise you anything."

"Of course." Erica said, keeping her tone very business-like. Her inner voice was laughing at her. "I think I'll go to bed now. It's getting late."

He nodded his goodbye, and she skipped upstairs, throwing herself on the bed without bothering to change into her pajamas.

She felt like she was being suffocated. Like too much was coming from all sides. Taking a deep breath, she rolled onto her back, staring into the ceiling. The moon-light made pretty figures dance across the dark surface.

Erica remembered the funeral. It was burned into her mind, like a horror-picture, haunting you in your nightmares. She hadn't cried. Hadn't stood in shock and stared at the coffin. She'd actually hardly looked at the coffin, doing her best to look anywhere else.

But something in her had forced her to look at it when they'd lowered it into the ground. Maybe she'd needed that last goodbye.

She had started to shake as she'd seen it and Marcus, one of the workers from the village and a good friend of Abraham, had gently taking her arm and led her out of the crowd back into the church. They'd sat in there in silence, waiting until her legs could carry her outside again. The ceremony had been almost over by then.

She furrowed her brow, forcing her mind to go father backwards, to think of the day's right before and after Abrahams' suicide. Of course, at the space in between, her thoughts stopped to a halt, refusing to go further. As if a giant, red danger-sign was flashing her. She opened her eyes again, gently sitting up and thinking of the family she was currently residing with instead.

She did want to stay, if only for a little while longer. And, going further, she mused that she would probably like to come back after her so-called travels to visit them again. They'd come to mean a lot to her now. They'd given her hope.

A smile played at the corners of her lips; since when had her thoughts become so corny? She sounded like some of those silly girls from town, falling head over heels for men and then moaning over how they couldn't get them. Silly and stupid.

Like a romance novel.

She ran a finger through her hair, reaching for the book on her nightstand. It was one she had borrowed from Gracia, more out of politeness than anything else. She hadn't looked at it yet, and honestly wasn't planning to, but it was the one closest to her right now. She opened it and absently flipped through the pages. Erica felt like she'd been sitting there for hours before something caught her eye, and she stopped on the page;

_I am like a falling star who has finally found her place in a lovely constellation, where we will sparkle in the heavens forever. _

Erica made a disgusted face and quickly put the book aside. Yuck. It was all goody-putty romance, and she got sick at the thought. Didn't these people know anything about the real world? Not that real love didn't exist; no, Erica had seen it before. Between people in her village, between Hughes and Gracia, Roy and Riza…

She couldn't help but smile a bit smug at that one. They were almost too obvious for their own good. But then again, you'd somehow have to know them to notice it. The way they adjusted to each other. Even their breathing was changed to match the others. Erica doubted they where even aware they were doing it. She wasn't sure if they were actually _together_. But she hoped they would be one day. They were right for each other.

She grimaced. Now _she _was starting to sound like one of those novels. Casting the book an annoyed glance, she decided that she could use some fresh air.

Looking outside, she couldn't help but shudder. The darkness had become… more crowded somehow. She quickly walked over to her door and peeked out on the hall. She must have been asleep longer than she thought, because everything was dark. Hughes must have come home and he and Gracia gone to bed. She couldn't hear them.

She walked out as silently as she could, quickly grabbing her jacket on the way out. The key they had given her to the house was still in the pocket and she slowly locked the door after her. The cold night air hit her yet again, with more force this time. It completely stopped her senses, making her unaware of what was going on around her. It lifted as soon as it had come however, and she was free to walk wherever she wanted.

_Maybe I'm overreacting,_ a voice sounded in her head, as she strolled down the empty streets. _Maybe the research isn't so important. Maybe no one is following me, stalking me, intent to…_

She stopped short in her tracks then. Crap! How could she have forgotten? As always, her brain had been good at hiding these things away, unpleasant things she didn't want to remember.

Had it just been her imagination, or had someone actually been watching her earlier in the evening? Was someone here right now? She looked over her shoulder, but of course found nothing.

_You're being paranoid Jordon. Get it together girl. _

She rumbled, annoyed at the persistent voice in her head. Maybe there really _was_ something wrong with her brain. She tried knocking a few times on her forehead, but the voice was still there.

"Damn it." She mumbled. "Going insane. Couldn't have come at a better time."

"Right." A voice behind her said. She jumped in the air and a scream got caught in her throat. She spun around, looking at whoever was behind her.

He wasn't much taller than her, clad in dark jeans and an even darker jacket. There was a red symbol on the jacket, but she couldn't see it properly in the dark. Some of his hair was also hiding it; it reached all the way to his elbows, black and silky. His face was just a little feminine, but still with very boyish looks to it. His eyes were a strange dark-purple, but it could be the dark that was playing tricks on her.

He had the face of an angel.

"Something wrong?" He asked, an obvious smirk on his face. She immediately felt the need to slap him; she'd been gaping at him, completely speechless, and he had without doubt had seen it. He probably knew what he normally did to people. Her reaction must be something he got almost every day.

"Uh… uhm… no." She mumbled, feeling a blush rise to her cheeks. What the hell? She was _blushing??_ Over some boy she'd hardly just met? What was wrong with her???? "You just… you startled me."

"Sorry." He said, flashing another grin that gave her the distinct feeling that he _wasn't_ very sorry. "I didn't mean to sneak up on you."

"Are you sure about that?" She nearly hissed, gaining some of her composure back.

"Maybe you were just not paying attention." He said, sounding a bit rude, but still flashing her that smile that made her knees go weak. Dammit, he was too much what she would consider her type. And she didn't even know what her type _was_. Dammit!

"I was… thinking about something." She muttered, not knowing what else to say. "Something _important_."

She suddenly realized how childish they were being, taunting each other with a light misunderstanding. It was completely foolish.

"I'm sorry." She said, cutting him off before he could say anything else. "I don't think I've introduced myself. I'm Erica Jordon."

His eyes sparkled with amusement as he took her outstretched hand. She gritted her teeth together.. There were clearly something dangerous about him, and he wasn't used to showing manners. That much was clear. However, he intrigued her in some way. She couldn't help but feel drawn to him, however superficial that might be. She didn't even know his name!

"I'm Erik." He said, not bothering to give her a last name. Something she probably shouldn't have done either, she realized. Great. Give her a pretty face, and immediately everything is blurted out.

"Erik and Erica? Well, there you go." She said, making a face. "That's very stupid you know. Are you sure that's your real name?"

He laughed at that. Erica didn't know if she should be pleased that she made him laugh, or annoyed that he was obviously laughing at _her_.

"No, I'm not." 'Erik' said. "But what else would you call me?" A sparkle in his eyes. His weird eyes were looking rather intently at her.

"Well… well…" She mumbled, trying to find words. Was he flirting with her? "I don't know. Your real name perhaps?"

"It'd be more fun to let your decide." He was teasing her again. Erica sighed, and decided to sulk, casting him a stern glare.

"I don't even _know_ you." She mumbled. Immediately, he was standing directly in front of her, and her heart skipped a beat.

"Hello, I'm Rafael Estrin. How may I be of service?"

Erica opened her mouth, and then closed it again, before licking her lips and finally regaining speech again.

"By removing yourself." She mumbled, shoving past him and walking the way home. She could just barely make out the sound of his footsteps as he followed her..

"Don't be mad Erica! I just met you! Isn't it a little quick to judge?"

She rolled her eyes, deeply annoyed, but only because he seemed to be affecting her this much. She'd never been this much of a sucker for a pretty face before.

"I've seen enough to judge." She said. "It's in the human nature after all."

She could have sworn she heard him laugh, but when she turned around, his face was very serious.

"You can't just walk away you know." He said. "I might be your true love."

That made her pause. And laugh.

"_That…_" She got out, between giggles. "… Is very hard to believe."

"You're offending me." He said, a smirk now playing on his lips. She thought it looked almost… malicious, and she got a little scared. Goosebumps where starting to ride up her arms, and she involuntarily shivered.

She opened her mouth to say something, but he was suddenly standing too close to her yet again, staring at her face as if trying to figure something out. The moonlight was glinting in his eyes, illuminating the purple. They were beautiful.

"I don't even know you." She whispered. He smirked again, and yet again, she fought the urge to hit that pretty head so hard it would break and roll down on the ground.

She frowned. "Are you my stalker?" She asked, her hands tightening into fists. She got a bit of a shock when he threw his head back and laughed. The sound was extremely loud, echoing through the streets and buildings. She was sure he would have the entire neighbor-hood awake, when he suddenly stopped.

"You have a stalker?" He asked, amused, but there was something fake in his tone. Erica sighed.

"I'm not sure. But I think I have to go home now."

"Wa-wait… don't I…. uh… get to follow your home?" He asked, though he looked like the idea somewhat disgusted him. Erica raised an eyebrow, feeling just a little offended, but she told herself it didn't matter. If he really was the type she thought he was, he really wasn't one to follow girls home. More likely being the one to trick them out of it in the first place.

She shivered at that thought, and quickly shook her head.

"No, you don't." She said. "And I'll know if you follow me, so don't try anything funny. Now goodbye, Rafael."

He laughed again, as she turned her back on him, walking away. She wasn't sure if she liked the sound or not.

The walk to Hughes' housed seemed to take so much longer than the trip away from it. Maybe it was because her legs felt like they were made out of something extremely unstable, and she was surprised they could even carry her. She wrote it off as being tired, and ignored the voices that said it had more to do with purple eyes and a pretty smirk.

Sneaking in was relatively easy. No one had noticed she was gone, exactly like she had wanted it. She hung her coat back on, and quietly walked back into her room. She didn't bother turning on the main light, but clicked on her night-lamp instead. Its faint glow made everything seem more magic-like. She quickly took of her shoes and pants, not bothering to change completely before she lay back on the bed. Reaching for the book, she wasn't even aware that she had done it, she'd opened it on the page she'd looked at last. She sighed, deciding that she probably couldn't sleep anyway.

Despite the silliness of the book, the plot and writing was at least somewhat bearable. For the next half of it, only a little kissing was made, without any grand declarations of love. She paused however, at the next chapter she was about to read.

_If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?_

She wasn't sure if she should smile or just ignore it and read on. She decided on neither, instead closing the book and laying it back on the nightstand. As soon as it was out of her hands, her head fell back on her pillow, and she was fast asleep.

The lamp was still on, glowing softly and illuminating the shadow sitting in the window.

_You feel so lonely and ragged  
You lay here broken and naked  
My love is  
Just waiting  
To clothe you in crimson roses_


	6. Sinner

_**This chapter is from Envy's point of view. It explains some of the background story I have for him, and that he generally has in the anime. The name William is actually his name from when he was human in the anime, at least as far as I know. William was the son of Dante and Hohenheim, and he died of mercury poison, most likely after helping his father in the laboratory. They then tried bringing him back, and got Envy instead. In case you didn't know :)**_

_**Don't forget to review!**_

**Sinner**

_He that falls into sin is a man; that grieves at it, is a saint; that boasts of it, is a devil…_

(Thomas Fuller)

Not a word was uttered inside the room. It felt like a hundred years since there ever had been. As if people where afraid to say anything in here, afraid that it would shatter the mere air around them.

If the walls in this room could talk, they wouldn't tell their stories. They wouldn't have any stories they would like to tell.

Maybe, if they had eyes, they would cry.

"_He's dying."_

_The lady stiffened, her reddish brown hair falling into gentle curls around her face. The nurse behind her swallowed once, afraid of the woman's wrath. A few moments of silence erupted through the room, with only the hoarse breathing from her patient to break it. _

"_All right." Came her soft whisper. Her voice was too bell-like, too soft to be human. Too perfect. It scared the nurse beyond anything else. _

_However, the indifference in her tone, the way she sounded, almost like she _didn't care_, was too much for her. She'd never heard anything off the sort. _

"_Are you even listening to me?" The nurse hissed, still afraid to get her voice too high up. "Your _son_ is dying!"_

_The lady slowly turned around, her fall hiding her eyes until she was standing directly in front of the nurse. They where a deep brown, flashing dangerously down at the shorter woman. The nurse could feel her breath hitch in her throat. _

"_I heard you perfectly clearly." The woman slowly said. "What made you think I didn't?"_

_The nurse gaped. "You don't care? You honestly… you don't care?"_

_An expression overtook the otherwise emotion-less face, but it was gone in a second. Dante clenched her jaw. _

"_Of course I care. It's such a waste, isn't it? Eighteen years of caring, and then he dies!" She was shouting now, not caring that it might wake the patient. Her son. _

_The nurse's eyes got wide. "You mean… is that all you care about?" The last words where whispered. She'd heard it before, heard rumors about the lady's cruelty. But she would have never guessed something like this. _

"_Get out!" Dante hissed, her voice more venom-filled than that of a snake._

"_But, my lady…"_

"_Get. Out."_

_The nurse hesitated for a few seconds, but the malice, the absolute anger in Dante's voice was not to be mistaken. She wouldn't take any chances. _

_As soon as the door closed behind her, Dante slowed moved over to her son's side, sitting down on the chair beside his bed. _

_The boy – man actually, eighteen years old – was lying there, breathing in heavily and strained. His blonde hair clung to his forehead, his face glistening in sweat. The poisoning had reached its peak. He would only have hours left to live. _

"_William…" Dante mumbled. Her hands where tightened into fists and her voice was hard. "William… my son." She trailed off, taking a deep breath. "Open your eyes."_

_Of course, he didn't. _

_Somewhere in his fever-ridden mind, William heard his mother's voice cut through the haze surrounding his very being. He heard the hard edge, the near-command to do as she said. And he _wanted_ to do it, wanted to obey her and jump up, more than anything than he had ever done before. _

_But he couldn't. _

_His throat felt like it was burning, burning him up from the inside. The fog was replaced with a red sharp light, blinding him. He tried to suck in a breath, but nothing of it reached his lungs. The mercury poison invaded his system again, shutting everything down. _

_The last sound he heard was the door opening as his mother left him alone to die. _

_*_

"I can't believe you did that Envy!" Pride's eyes were flashing, the eye patch lying on the table next to them. The red-on-white eye was flashing even more, probably seeing everything that was happening around them while still focusing intently on the other sin.

"After I'd _un-mistakenly _given the order that you were _not_ getting any near that Jordon girl, it's the first thing you do!" His hands where clenched, his whole body shaking with anger. Envy's only reaction was lifting an eyebrow.

"Calm down Pride. Wouldn't want you to get a heart-attack in the middle of duties.." He playfully said, pointing to the stack of paperwork on the Fuhrer's desk.

"_Duty!_" Pride spat. "What would a rotten lowlife like you know about _duty?"_

"Oh I have a duty alright." Envy's hissed back, his voice low and threatening. Pride couldn't figure out if the glint in his eyes was malice or perhaps amusement. It was always hard to tell with the other sin.

"Maybe so." Pride said. "But you do not carry it out."

A look of indifference crossed Envy's face, and he leaned back against the wall again, studying his nails.

"So? What does it matter to you?"

"Everything." Pride hissed. "Is that not what we are here for?"

Envy lifted his gaze, purple eyes meeting white and brown.

"I don't know about you. But I'm here to kill that son of a bitch!" There was no mistaking the hate in his voice, the deep burning feeling that had had over four-hundred years of getting fed, getting bigger and stronger. And hungrier for blood.

Pride kept the sneer off his face, instead lifting the eye patch off the table and securing it over his white eye again. He was still looking at Envy. And they both knew a decision had been made in Pride's mind.

"You will stay here. You will watch out for her."

"_What???"_

"The girl. You are already involved. You are the one who knows most about her, and the only one able to get close to her without anyone getting suspicious."

The green-haired sin was gaping now, looking like a fish caught on land. Pride couldn't help but smirk as rage flittered over his face.

"You cannot be serious!" He shouted.

"Oh, I am. Dante is busy. She put me in charge. Which means that you have to do as I say, facing any given problem we stand with. That's how this works, Envy." Pride said, making sure to keep his tone light, as if he were talking to a four-year old.

The shout of rage coming from Envy nearly made the ground shook. Pride stood his ground, keeping his annoyance at bay. That had probably awoken all of Central.

Moving faster than visible to human eye, Envy was standing in front of the table, thrashing his fist through it, making it break in half. Pride lifted an eyebrow, but it was Sloth that spoke next.

"I would have to ask you to refrain from breaking the furniture, Envy." She said, her tone slow and patient, the way a mother would gently scold her child. Pride noticed the way Envy tensed.

"Fine." He hissed. "Do as you please." Turning around, he walked abruptly out of the door, banging it shut behind him. Pride sighed.

*

Sometimes, Envy wasn't even sure what he was doing in the midst of all this.

_This_. Taking orders. Following them. Blah.

It wasn't exactly his style. Sometimes, like today, he really wondered why he bothered. Why he listened to that prick of a Fuhrer. That stupid idiot, who had ordered him to keep watch on a simple, stupid little girl.

But then, the conversation he was listening on, mentioned one name, one godforsaken name that immediately made his blood boil.

Edward Elric.

And it was days like these, days where he could nearly taste the victory, knew they were close, knew that the little shrimp was playing directly into their hands, it was days like these that Envy knew exactly what he was doing, and why he was doing it.

Which was why he would patiently (well, as patient as he could get) follow the girl for a while, finding out if she could be valuable or not. He was a little thorn on that one. If she was valuable they might be closer to their goal, closer to killing the pipsqueak. But if she wasn't, they would find out pretty soon, and then hopefully, they would order him to kill _her._ It felt like too long since he had killed anyone.

Yanking at one of his green dreadlocks, he perched on top of a tower, hiding in the shadow of a giant, ugly goblin. It had its teeth bared, and stone-wings folded out, as if ready to take flight. Well, it would be able to take flight, if Envy hadn't been so bored that he'd ruined half of it, including most of the wings. He smirked at the thought, and playfully clapped the goblin on the head.

There. He narrowed his eyes, zooming in with his absolutely perfect vision. He could see all the way to Hughes' house from here. And she was currently entering, a duffle bag thrown over one shoulder and a suitcase in the other. He was pretty sure it wasn't the suitcase with the research, because that one was supposed to be smaller. But she probably had that somewhere.

He watched them for a while, bored out of his mind. It wasn't until she looked at something in his direction that he noticed. He was surprised he hadn't noticed the other day in the office, but he quickly hid that away. He didn't make mistakes, of course not. It wasn't important, that's why he hadn't noticed.

But then the full force of his discovery hit him, and he suddenly remembered.

Green eyes.

*

"_William?" The soft words were spoken, almost whispered. The blonde man turned around from his work, smiling brightly at the girl. _

"_I'm surprised you're here." He said, trying just a little to hide the sparkling in his eyes, the proof that he didn't care. As long as she was here. _

_She shrugged. "Well… I… I missed you." She said. And those words were enough. He closed the distance between them in two strides and took her in his arms, ignoring the fact that he was supposed to get the experiment ready for when his father came later. _

_He didn't care about anything but her. _

_A few days later, he fell sick with mercury poison. _

*

It shouldn't have bothered him. He should have been completely able to ignore it. He wasn't William and Erica wasn't _her_. It was as simple as that.

Then why the hell did it make him so uncomfortable whenever she looked at him with those green orbs?

He forced himself to ignore it, blamed it on everything else. He smiled his crooked smile at her, teased her, and wanted to throw up all the while. He was disgusted. And he would never admit to himself that it wasn't her he was disgusted with, but himself.

He was acting like a frickin' _human_. It made him want to tear his own neck out. Well, hers too first, mostly because of the satisfaction it would give. One last kill.

He toyed with the idea for a while, knowing that it wouldn't happen, not tonight, not now.. But one day.

"No you don't." She said, her voice both annoyed, teasing and warm. "And I'll know if you follow me. Now goodbye, Rafael."

He'd laughed at her. Watched her as she walked away, waiting until she was out of sight, before turning around and walking the other way.

He arrived at the city, Xerxes, running underground. Walked into the all-too familiar house, Dante's house and Hohenheim's house and William's house.. As always, he ignored Lust's cries of 'Where the hell have you been??, his only reaction being a very rude gesture in her direction.

He walked into the room, gritting his teeth and looking at the bed. He had a burning urge to trash it, but something held him back. Instead, he turned around and threw a chair out of the window, hearing the crash and crunching sounds it made with a satisfied smile on his lips. He leaned up against the closed door, closing his eyes, taking in the feel of the room, the memories surrounding it. The sick, disgusting memories of blonde hair and green eyes. She'd had green eyes.

He'd have to cover Erica's eyes when he killed her.

Damn that human. He turned around; opening the door so hard it was nearly torn in half, and stormed out of the room. A silence erupted in there.

_If the walls in this room could talk, they would whisper in hushed voices, keeping quiet when someone neared to hear. They would be afraid to utter a word about what had happened and what probably would happen in this room. _

_If the walls in this room had eyes, they would weep. _


	7. Of Kittens and Secrets

_**Hello everyone! Sorry this chapter is out a little late, but I've been so busy the last week, I simply didn't have time to write anything. Hope I am forgiven, and that this chapter makes up for it!**_

_**Thankyou to ikldmrogers for being the best and the fastest beta in the universe!**_

_**Don't forget to review ^^**_

* * *

**Of Kittens and Secrets**

Erica woke up because she was unable to suck in as big of a breath as she was trying to. Slowly opening her eyes, she discovered that she was lying face down in the mattress.. She lifted her head, wondering where the hell her pillow was. Looking around her, she found that it had fallen to the floor.

She took a deep breath and rubbed a hand over her eyes, reveling in the feeling of the soft sunlight falling in through the window. It made her very warm, and she quickly pushed away her sheets, sitting up in the bed as she did so.

She had an odd feeling, as if something was about to happen. Glancing suspiciously around her, she noticed that the lamp was still on. She flicked it off, feeling a weird sense of loss as the light glowed away, even though the sun illuminated her room enough.

Someone knocked on the door, and Erica nearly jumped out of her skin, surprised by the sound. She quickly ran over and opened it to be met by Gracia's smiling face.

"Hello sleepy-head!"

Erica quickly glanced at the clock, realizing it was nearly noon. She stared at the other woman in shock.

"Why didn't you wake me?" She asked, opening the door wider for Gracia to walk in.

"You're a guest here!" Gracia said. "And I thought you might need the sleep. I can't imagine sleeping being easy after…" She trailed off, but she didn't need to say more. Erica knew what she meant, and it brought forth a painful twinge inside her chest. She quickly covered it up with a smile.

"It's alright. But thank you."

Gracia returned the smile. "I was just heading off to get groceries and wanted to leave a note in case you woke up. Unless you want to come?"

"Oh no, I'm fine." Erica said, not feeling in the mood to welcome the outside world just yet. At least not with the company of a mother and a hyper-active girl. She felt like she if she were to go outside at all, it would be by herself.

Gracia nodded, stepping out of the room again. "You can just take some food in the fridge. We'll be back in a few hours."

"Thank you." Erica mumbled again, closing the door after her. She stood with her hand on the door-knob for a little while, not feeling the need to move. She closed her eyes, listening to the sound of retreating footsteps and a door closing. She was alone in the house now. Erica sighed, sitting down on her bed and putting her face in her hand. Despite having slept for so long, she didn't feel rested at all, and a headache began forming behind her eyes.

Why did she suddenly feel so messed up? Had it been Gracia's words, stirring the feelings of her father's suicide? Had it been last night's meeting with that pretty guy that had somehow made her feel like she'd been split in two?

_Rafael Estrin_.

It was a pretty name actually. Sounded foreign. He didn't look like someone from Amestris either. Maybe Lior or Drachma? But his skin wasn't dark enough for that. Xing perhaps? She'd never seen anyone from Xing, but from what she could gather, he didn't really fit.

She bit her lip, realizing that she was thinking too much about it. He was just some boy, and surely he couldn't be as beautiful as her mind wanted him to be. It had been dark for crying out loud! Something was wrong with her. Maybe it was all the stress.

With that thought she stood up and quickly put on some clothes before wandering downstairs. Her steps felt weird on the stairs, lighter somehow, as if a great burden had been lifted from her shoulders. She reached the end of it and froze, staring wide-eyed at the sight before her.

In the middle of Hughes and Gracia's living room stood a significantly small, blonde-haired boy and a giant suit of armor.

*

When she was seven, Abraham had bought her a kitten.

It was the cutest little thing, with snow-white fur and ocean-blue eyes. She'd fallen head over heels in love with it. Of course, the fascination of the creature had worn off quickly, when she'd realized that it wasn't a gift. It was more of a distraction.

At that time, Erica had reached an age where she'd begun to ask questions. _Where did mom go? Why can't you play with me? Who are all those weird people that keep coming to our house?_

He couldn't (or wouldn't) answer any of those questions. So, instead he bought her little Snowflake (yes, the name wasn't very original, but it was all her seven-year old brain could come up with at the time).

But the interest for Snowflake had disappeared as soon as she had realized the distraction-thing. It had hurt, even for a seven-year old, to understand that he would rather do such a thing than just say to her that he couldn't tell her. He should have known better.

She'd given the cat to a girl in town, and since then hadn't come near another of its species.

Until today.

"How can your brother _not_ want to keep this angel?" Erica asked a little outraged as she nuzzled the brown and black spotted cat behind his ear. She looked at the big armor suit behind her, and was baffled when she realized that it looked like it was smiling. How could armor do that?

"I don't understand either!" Alphonse said, looking adoringly at the cat (again with the expression. How was that possible?)

"But…" He continued. "We're on the run a lot. We practically live like nomads. Maybe he's right; a cat would be too much responsibility."

Erica had to bit her tongue to prevent herself from blurting out 'he can stay with me!' She wasn't sure if Gracia would approve and she wasn't planning on staying long. If her dreams of traveling should come true, a cat would just be in the way.

But still. It was such a sweet little thing.

She eyed the door to Roy's office while the cat jumped up on Alphonse knee. They'd been in there for fifteen minutes, and she could faintly hear the sound of raised voices. What in the world was the Colonel talking to that boy about?

Except, he wasn't just 'that boy'. He was Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist, living legend of the people and not at all what she had expected.

At first she'd actually thought it was some sort of joke. _That_ little shrimp? Not the big boy in the METAL armor? But the dwarf???

Still, she probably shouldn't let her eyes deceive her. Like Al. One's first impression of him was completely wrong. Erica would have never guessed that underneath those heavy plates, he was as much of a fourteen year old boy as anyone she had ever met. Not only that, but he seemed like the nicest, most genuine person she had ever known (and Erica had to admit to herself, she'd met some freaking good people in the last couple of weeks). His fondness for cats just gave him another star in her personal book.

He really wasn't at all like his brother, who'd already lost a few points because of his temper tantrum. Despite the force he'd displayed, a nagging voice that sounded too much like Abraham kept reminding her that having control of one's temper meant a sure victory.

Right. Erica felt like she was more and more ready for the mental-hospital these days.

So, the little pipsqueak was a state alchemist. That didn't mean he had to take so goddamn long! She glanced quickly at Al and met his eyes (well, the slits in his helmet really. But she was sure she could see an emotion in them, as well as a glint, and she guessed that was his eyes). They were both very curious. What where they talking about in there?

It had really been a very quick decision for her to follow them to Headquarters. They'd come looking for Hughes, but he of course wasn't there. She figured she'd offered to go with them because a part of her believed that she might be able to find out something about her father's documents.

Yeah, stupid. If they were going to tell her anything, they would come to her. The only reason she was still hanging around Central was because she might be useful. Still, she was annoyed that it was taking so long to examine them and deem the case closed. She couldn't deny that she liked (alright then, she _loved_) staying with Hughes and his family, but a big part of her was itching to get away from everything, all the memories of her dad and the life she felt she'd never lived.

She sighed, knowing her thoughts were going nowhere. The solution to her problem wouldn't come on its own, and all she could do was wait. It was driving her insane. She glanced at Al and the kitten to distract herself, just as a stray thought hit her.

"Why are you still wearing it?" She blurted out, hoping she wasn't insulting him in some way. She'd heard the Elric's came somewhere from the country, Riskabool or something. Maybe it was customary to wear it there? But why wasn't Edward doing it then? Was he too short? She snickered at the thought, but stopped when she realized that Alphonse was staring at her.

"Wearing…?" He asked, trailing off. "Oh, you mean the armor?"

Erica nodded. "Yes. Why are you wearing it inside? Why are you wearing it in the first place?" She crossed her fingers, hoping she wasn't breaking some unspoken law that looked down upon asking about such things. She kept her tone curiously polite, hoping not to offend him.

"Oh… it's… I… um… it's… a hobby." Al blurted out, and Erica narrowed her eyes. Was he lying? She mentally shrugged. If he was, it was none of her business.

"Sorry." She quietly mumbled. She hated apologizing, but felt the need to. She didn't want to make him upset, she liked him too much for that.

"That's alright." Al said. "It is a little odd I guess."

Erica frowned again. There was something weird about his tone, almost sad. Longing somehow. She couldn't help but cast a quick glance at the helmet. Did he have some kind of horribly scarred face that he couldn't show to anyone? Was he ashamed? Or was it, as he said, really just some kind of weird hobby?

Again, she had to remind herself that it was none of her business.

"I'm sorry about your father." Al suddenly said, breaking the somewhat awkward silence that had settled between them. Erica froze, staring at the floor.

"Oh." She mumbled. "That's… alright." What was she supposed to say? She blinked a few times, finally breaking out of it. "I mean… thank-you." She gave him a quick smile, which he returned. She decided to stop wondering how the hell he showed expressions through a metal-plate. His smile was like he was, sweet and caring but far from innocent. She couldn't help but wonder what he'd seen, for a fourteen year old to have that kind of smile. Like he saw so much more than she did.

"How did you know about that anyway?" She quickly asked. "I mean, I thought you and your brother were out of town?"

"The news came the same day we left." Al said. "The Colonel was very upset about it. I didn't remember it until you said your name."

Erica nodded, avoiding Al's gaze. He seemed a bit puzzled, probably over her lack of reaction. She figured other people who'd found their father's dead body would be a lot more upset just a couple of weeks after. She quickly pushed those thoughts aside. She probably would become upset if she dwelled on it too much, and she didn't have time to do that now.

"What are you and your brother doing, traveling around so much?" She asked, quickly changing the subject. Apparently, it was the wrong way to do it. She could swear she saw Al stiffen, and if she could have seen his eyes they would probably be darting back on forth right now. Even the kitten seemed to notice, because it was meowing disapprovingly, staring at her all the while.

"You know… military business." Al mumbled, looking down. He was lying again, and he wasn't very good at it. But, apparently, it seemed like it was something he had to do a lot. Erica frowned. What was his brother dragging him into?

"But you're not a State Alchemist, are you?" She asked, forgetting everything about being polite. Al sighed, and she immediately regretted asking.

"Sorry. It doesn't concern me." She quickly mumbled, realizing that it was the second time in less than five minutes that she had apologized. Things were seriously going well today.

"No, that's okay." Al said, and he sounded like he meant it. "It's in the human nature to be curious after all."

All right, the bitter note was back. But it didn't sound at all like it was directed at her. She felt a surge of pity for the boy.

"You lost your mother, didn't you?" She quietly asked, remembering Hughes mentioning it a couple of days ago. Al stiffened again.

"Yeah." He answered, and another awkward tension came forth. Erica swallowed, scolding herself for making the whole thing so uncomfortable. She really liked Al, and she'd just managed to upset him.

_Maybe I'm not fit to have friends, _she thought with a bit of dark humor. _That certainly explains a lot. _

The door opened in that moment, and they both stood up, Al with the kitten in his arms. Edward Elric stepped out, followed by Lieutenant Hawkeye, Hughes and Havoc who winked at her. Erica couldn't help but smile at him, a happy feeling flowing through her chest and stomach. She _did_ have friends. She could be bloody social. She almost laughed at the thought.

But she didn't get time to laugh, because in that moment a feeling of dread crept up behind her and attacked before she could cover. With wide eyes, she watched as The Fuhrer stepped out of the office behind the rest of the party, a smile on his mouth. His one eye raked over them, and he nodded once.

"Miss Jordon, I would like to speak with you and Edward in private for a moment."


	8. Checkmate

_**Allrighty, here it is; chapter eight! A bit on the angsty side (allright, a lot on the angsty side!) but I hope you like it anyway. **_

_**Don't forget to review!**_

* * *

**Checkmate**

It didn't feel right stepping into the Fuhrers office again. It felt about as safe as sticking ones head into a hungry lion's mouth.

Erica fidgeted a little, tugging at her sleeves while she cast a nervous glance around. She was even more edgy than before, despite the fact that she wasn't alone this time. Shooting a glance at Edward, she was surprised to see him so tense. Could he feel it too, the underlying danger? He was staring stiffly ahead, a blank mask covering his face. She guessed that if she had looked at him a few seconds earlier, his features would have been hunched in shock or horror.

The Fuhrer stepped up behind his desk, his one eye focused on the documents. It felt as if a strong wind was sweeping up inside Erica, starting at her head before whooshing down her stomach and all the way to her toes. For a moment, she was sure that she would take flight and disappear from the room, but of course that didn't happen. Instead, the lightness faded away, and she was left staring at the papers, bile slowly rising at the back of her throat.

"This is an important matter, so I will go right to the point." Bradley said, his voice laced with a fake friendliness that made her want to gag. It was like sweet, dark honey, all mixed up with a deadly poison. Out of the corner of her eye, Erica could see Edward frown.

"Abraham Jordon was one of the leaders of a most important research project in the Military." He began. "After his death, the only papers he left behind are these." He gestured to the papers on the desk, and Erica immediately tensed up. Abraham's materials were just before her, and she felt a strong urge to sweep them into her arms and run for it.

Bradley suddenly looked at her, his brown eye very curious. "Do you know what these papers say, Erica?"

She swallowed, preparing the lie. She could feel Edwards's eyes on her.

"No sir." She said. "I do not."

She wasn't sure if he believed her or not. But she knew, for her own safety, she could never reveal the fact that she _did_ know and understand the notes. Well, not all of it. But most of it. She'd read more of his other research, papers that were now stored away… She stopped her thoughts. She was pretty sure no one in the room was a mind reader, but it was best not to think too much about it. She might slip her tongue if she wasn't careful.

"They contain information very valuable to a… an assignment that Mr. Elric and his brother are on."

Erica wondered why he hesitated in the middle of his sentence, and why Edward visibly relaxed when he stopped talking. She gritted her teeth – they were lying to her, it should not be a surprise. Abraham hadn't trusted the Military in his last years, and despite her wish to deny it, he was one of the most brilliant men she'd ever heard of or known. And she'd lied to them too – it seemed their actions came back full-circle.

"I am asking your permission to hand your father's material to them." Bradley asked. "I have discussed this with my councilors for a long time, and we have closed down the investigation of them and your father's death. Now, all I can do is pass them on to Edward. But I will not do so without your permission."

_Liar!_ A loud angry voice, neither her own or Abraham's screamed inside her head. _Liar, liar, liar! _He wasn't asking her permission – he would pass the material on no matter what she said. The warning in his voice was clear. She was trapped.

But why? Why go through all that trouble? The material belonged to the government; she had no more say in it now. Why go through all this trouble to ask her, when it didn't matter?

She swallowed again, trying to find her voice. She was afraid she would start yelling at him, and she couldn't have that. She regained her self-control and opened her mouth:

"Of course sir." She said, her tone surprisingly polite. She gave herself a mental shoulder-clap. "The material is free for the Military to do with as they please. You have my permission." The Fuhrer just nodded, a smirk forming on his lips.

Shooting a quick glance at Edward to distract herself from the anger boiling at the Fuhrer's smile, she was surprised to see joy shining on his face. Whatever material there was, it seemed important to him, and the anger in her disappeared. If she could help Al (well, and Edward) in any way, she would be more than happy. Suddenly it didn't seem so bad, releasing the material to the Military.

But that still didn't explain why he'd asked her permission.

An idea suddenly struck her, and her eyes widened. This might be her only chance…

"If I may ask." She said, her tone still polite, especially when she realized that she'd almost cut off the Fuhrer; he had already opened his mouth, probably about to dismiss them. "What is in the material?"

All she'd seen was something about _The Philosophers Stone, _but everyone knew that was just a myth.

She could see Edward tense again, his eyes darting from one side to another. A slow smile spread across the Fuhrer's face as soon as the surprise had left. Erica suddenly felt sick to the core. This wasn't just like the smug smirk or the friendly-smile he sometimes wore. This was large and triumphant and she felt like she was looking upon a warlord that had just conquered all of his enemies with one single strike.

"This material regards very important information about The Philosophers Stone." The Fuhrer said. Erica's eyes went even wider, and she could feel her insides turn to stone. An odd look settled across Edwards face, and a fury erupted from his eyes. For just a short second, she understood how such a boy, a_ child_, could get that much respect from people both his age and rank. For a short second, he wasn't Edward Elric anymore; he was The Fullmetal Alchemist, a human tool used as a pawn in the Military's cruel games.

She yet again had to wonder what he and Alphonse had gone through to make them mature so fast. He was only what, fifteen? Three years younger than her, and she still felt like a little girl compared to what they had probably done and seen. What they'd lived through.

Erica wretched her thoughts away from the Elrics, focusing instead on the Fuhrer again. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest. She wondered if this was how a deer felt like, right before the wolf sliced his teeth through its neck.

"The… The Philosophers Stone, sir?" She asked, her voice trembling slightly. She suddenly felt like she'd been ripped into a whole different universe, something she was not part of. Had these people gone raving mad?

"Yes Erica." King Bradley said, his voice solemn as if it grieved him. The part of her that wasn't in total shock, mentally snorted at his tirade. Did he ever grow tired of keeping up this false pretense?

The smile was suddenly back. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to talk further with Mr. Elric about this matter."

Erica slowly nodded, recognizing the dismissal. Slowly turning around, she noticed that his secretary was in the room too – she quickly looked at Erica, a glint in her eyes. It was triumphant, exactly the same as the Fuhrers had been.

Then the secretary turned her attention back to the boy and man in front of her, and Erica stepped up her pace.

She didn't breathe properly, until after the door behind her was closed. Roy and Hawkeye were sitting on the bench in front of her, and as soon as she stepped out, Roy was on his feet, his mouth open.

Erica could already feel her brain overflowing with the questions he was about to ask. She abruptly shook her head.

"Not right now." She gasped, out of breath. She was surprised – hadn't she just sucked air into her lungs? Oh… she might want to release it and then breathe in again. Inhale, exhale.

She suddenly felt tears press behind her lids, and her eyes widened – for the hundredth time today it seemed – in shock. It wasn't before she turned around and stormed down the hallway, that she noticed Al sitting on the bench next to the door. He sent her what appeared to be a quick, understanding smile. The kitten was still in his arms, purring slightly.

She had no idea where she was or where she was heading, she just knew that she needed to _get away_. She could feel a scream bubbling inside her, replacing the nausea that had threatened to overwhelm her before. Everything suddenly felt out of place, as if the whole world had turned upside down, just to annoy her.

She didn't know if it was because Abraham's material had been so greedily snatched out of her fingers. He was her father after all. Or maybe she just blamed herself, knew how disappointed he would be in her, if he could see her right now. It could also be because she knew, knew in the deepest pits of her soul, that the Military was anything but sincere, that this would not end well. That something was deeply wrong.

But no matter what the reason, she felt sick. She felt _wrong. _And she knew she'd made a giant mistake.

She stopped her pace when she realized this, her legs growing heavy. She'd exited the Headquarters, and was now standing on one of the grassy fields out front. She could see butterflies fly about, minding their own business. The sharp sun was hammering down on her, and despite the heat she couldn't help but shiver. Still finding it too warm though, she slowly walked over and seated herself underneath a tree, its giant crown casting shadows that hid her from the sun.

Erica sucked in a breath, needing it after the long run. It felt nice sitting there, looking at the ants crawling on her hand before realizing that she was not part of the tree, and quickly hopping to the ground again. She kept focusing on the bugs around her, doing everything in her power to cut off the flow of thoughts that threatened to drown her.

One of the worker-ants was carrying a leaf, ten times its own size, and despite the seemingly heavy burden, it didn't seem troubled at all. Erica imagined that if it had been a human, it would have whistled gladly, a broad smile on its face.. She nearly smiled at the metaphor that suddenly popped into her mind – the little Edward Elric, carrying the weight of the world.

But unlike the ant that was built for that kind of stuff; she knew that the burden Edward carried was not something he liked. Humans were not made for things like that. She knew a weaker person would have broken down a long time ago – but he kept going. He had motivation.

She needed bloody motivation. She closed her eyes, letting her head fall back against the tree. She'd never had any, always just… lived. Sometimes doing her best to study, make her father happy. Then to fulfill his apparent dying wish, only to find out she'd made a huge mistake.

But it was only a mistake. They didn't get all of the material. She smiled a little, feeling just slightly better. There had been more, but after reading it through, she'd hid it, in a place no one would think to search for it.

She sucked in another breath and surprise overwhelmed her. She coughed sharply when she realized she'd just inhaled a big whiff of smoke. Opening her eyes, she stared right into Havoc's friendly orbs.

"Hello." He said, smirking at her and taking another drag of the cigarette in his hand. "You seem upset."

Erica wrinkled her nose and hit his wrist attached to the hand with the cancer-stick lightly. She couldn't help but smile back at him though.

"Hi." She mumbled. "Long time, no see."

Havoc shrugged, leaning back on his heels and putting out the cigarette on the ground. Erica had to bite her tongue not to scold him – at least this way he wouldn't blow smoke all over her.

"Been busy at the office. The whole case with Scar…" He trailed off, looking into the distance. Erica nodded.

"Yeah, I can imagine that must be a toughie." She mumbled. "Got any leads?"

She was yet again surprised at how _easy_ it was to talk to Havoc, but the relief overshadowed the surprise. If only she'd always had someone like him, a big brother she could tell anything to. Maybe then, there wouldn't be so much resentment inside of her.

He shrugged again, leaning back on his hands. "I'm not really supposed to tell you this." He started. "But last we heard he was nearing Lior."

Erica frowned. "Lior? Isn't that in the desert?"

Havoc nodded.

"But Hughes said that he only went after State Alchemists. I can't imagine there are a lot of those there right now?" She said, making it a question.

"Well, there have been a lot of… hmm… rebellions down there lately, but the soldiers are taking care of it. There has been no need for State Alchemists thus far. But maybe he's there for something else?" Havoc mused, looking into the sky while considering.

"Maybe he just feels at home there." Erica mumbled, half-jokingly. "I mean, he's from Ishbal right? Isn't that a desert-land too?"

Havoc nodded, a frown disrupting his peaceful expression. "Yeah, it is. Was… is." He shook his head, fixing his gaze on her again.

"What about you? How are you feeling? Roy mentioned you seemed… upset."

Erica smiled sheepishly, glad that Roy had enough tact to downplay her outburst. She would have to thank him later.

"Maybe that's just what the Fuhrer does to me." She said. Despite the teasing tone in her voice, she could see that Havoc understood how serious she was about it. She shuddered, wondering if anyone else felt the same, but not brave enough to ask. Instead, she cleared her throat. "He said that the investigation is over. So… I guess I'll be leaving soon."

She couldn't decipher the look Havoc sent her. He mumbled something under his breath before grabbing a new cigarette from his pack and slowly standing up again.

"My break is over." He said. "But you know where to find me if you need to talk, right?"

Erica smiled slightly, nodding. He hesitated for a few moments, before clearly coming to a decision.

"And about leaving… I really doubt they're going to let you do that anytime soon."

With those parting words, he turned around, but not before sending her a soft, apologetic smile. Erica frowned, deeply unsettled by his words. What did he mean? Why would they not let her leave? She was done here, right? They had no further use for her.

And then it hit her, like a giant brick banging into the side of a stone-wall. Like a bucket of ice-cold water being thrown directly into her face, opening her eyes and snapping her out of her haze.

He'd needed her there. King Bradley, the Fuhrer had needed her there, to witness what was to become of the document. Not to give her permission, but so that she knew more than she was supposed to. That's why he'd looked so triumphant when she'd asked, and why he hadn't hesitated to deliver the information. Because she had been playing right into his hands.

She knew too much now. And of course, when a person knew too much, you couldn't just let them out of your sight. She'd walked blindly into the Fuhrer's cage, and the door behind her had snapped, closed before she had a chance to escape.

She was trapped.


	9. Pain is Temporary

_**A/N – First I would like to apologize for not updating at all last week, but I'll make it up to you by getting the next chapter up as quickly as possible. **_

_**The last of the chapter is from Envy's POV, which should make a lot of you happy :P Please tell me what you think. You can do that by **__reviewing__**. :) C'mon you know you want to!**_

**_Have a good weekend, all you lovely readers ^^_**

* * *

**Pain is Temporary**

"_I can't do it Uncle Sam, I just can't!" Nine-year old Erica said, tears running down her cheeks. She was standing at the bottom of the stairs, shivering, partly from the cold, but mostly from the tears. _

_Sam sighed, glancing up at the high tower. It was the former study of his father, Erica's grandfather. It had been locked up after his death and no one had been in there since. Not even Abraham, who'd been given the key. _

_But that was about to change, Sam thought with a wry grin while looking down at the key he'd 'borrowed' from his brother's study. His smile disappeared however, when he glanced at the frightened girl beside him. He'd wanted to cheer her up, but thus far it certainly wasn't working. _

"_It's so _high_." She fretted, glancing upwards. "I don't like heights." _

_Sam mumbled something under his breath – her mother had been afraid of heights as a child as well. He sat leaned down to the girl's eye-level._

"_What's so scary about heights?"_

"_You can fall down!" She insisted, a mix of annoyance and dominance in her tone.. He almost smiled, thinking that despite the pigtails and tears, she looked very commanding in that second. "And Uncle Sam, if you fall down from all the way up _there_-"she pointed with her arm straight in the air "- then you _die_."_

"_Do you honestly think I'm going to let you fall down?" _

_Erica chewed on her bottom-lip, contemplating the question. Then her brow furrowed. _

"_Would you be upset if I said yes?"_

_He laughed again. "A little maybe. But don't be frightened alright? Just remember Erica, pain is temporary, quitting is forever."_

_Erica sighed. "You always say such stupid things – what am I supposed to use that for if I fall down and die?"_

_Sam smiled again and patted her on the head. "You won't fall down, if you don't want to fall down. We Jordon's don't give up that easily, do we?"_

_Erica mumbled something he couldn't hear and then sighed. "No, I guess we don't."_

"Oh come _on_, are you really giving up that easily?" The voice was loud, easily reaching Erica's ears as she walked past, and breaking her out of her thoughts. She stopped short, her head turning in the direction of the sound. Her vision was blocked by a large bush however.

But she recognized the voice. She ran around the bush, stopping short just beside it, not wanting to be noticed.

On the grassy field of the secluded park were Edward and Alphonse Elric, busy with training. Erica watched with sparkling eyes as they threw punches and kicks at each other, not once breaking a sweat. Where had they learned that?

_And how can Al move so swiftly in that armor?_ She wondered, frowning. He was even faster than Edward. Actually, from what she could tell, it looked like he was beating the crap out of his older brother. She smiled wryly – maybe if Ed grew a few inches he would be able to win.

Erica had been taking a short walk, desperate to get out of the house; the day after the Fuhrer's 'news' she'd been inside all day, not even coming out of the room to talk. She'd had no desire to, and had simply sat on her bed all day long, staring out her window. Once, she was sure she saw Rafael walking past, but when the man looked up at her, she could see that he was older and his facial features very different, yet reminiscent in some way. The man had smirked at her, and she could've sworn it was the same smirk that Rafael had worn. It had given her shivers.

It wasn't until the evening when Hughes had come up to bring her some food. She'd been enough in her own mind to apologize for being so weird and distant, but he'd dismissed it, instead stating that she could always come to him if she wanted to talk. At that comment, tears had sprung to her eyes and she hadn't been able to resist hugging him. Before leaving her to her own thoughts again, he'd said something about Edward Elric might needing or wanting her help with her father's information. She hadn't given it much thought at the time, but now that she saw them here, she couldn't help but feel a bit of excitement at the prospect. If she could get better access to Abraham's research she might find out something before the Military did. It was like giving them the finger after trapping her, and however useless it might be, she knew she desperately wanted the satisfaction.

Erica played silently with the thought that it might be a trick of fate, her going for some fresh air and seeing them. Her inner Abraham was snorting at it, but she chose to ignore it.

As she'd predicted, the fight ended with Al winning. He said something she couldn't make out, and Ed huffed and threw himself on his back in the grass. Al turned around, and she noticed that Havoc and two others from Mustang's staff was also present, sitting in the shadow of one of the trees. Without much other thought, she decided to go join them.

"Erica, hi!" Havoc yelled, jumping a little when a large branch from a nearby tree suddenly fell to the ground. Erica paid no heed to it, but continued her pace forward. Al turned around and smiled, and Ed lifted his head to look at her. She changed her course a little, stopping right next to him.

"You're blocking the sun." He mumbled, but there was no resentment in his voice. Actually, he was smiling just the tiniest bit. Erica remembered her first impression of him; as a childish and violent brute who wouldn't see sense. She wondered if it were Abrahams genes that made her so judgmental; she didn't want to be.

"Sorry." She replied, shifting a little. "Good workout?"

Edward shrugged, still watching her closely. It made her a little uncomfortable, but she didn't flinch.

"It was alright.." He suddenly reached his hand upwards, and she took it without second thought, pulling him to his legs. As he stood next to her, she discovered that she was actually a good deal taller than him; she decided not to point it out, after all, she was a few years older than him. They walked over to the others, side by side, and she realized that this was a completely different Ed than the tense, determined boy she'd stood with in the Fuhrer's office two days ago.

"Hi." She smiled as she reached the others, a little surprised as Havoc gave her a one-armed hug, a new cigarette already dangling between his lips. The small gesture filled her with content and warmth that had nothing to do with the hot sun.

"I don't believe we've been properly introduced." One of Mustang's men said, a small man with glasses. He reached out a hand and she gently shook it. "I'm Lieutenant Kain Fuery. And this is Heymans Breda." Breda nodded once at her, his arms folded over his chest as he leaned against the tree-trunk.

"Nice to meet you." Erica said, sitting down on the grass along with them. "Mustang gave all of you a day off?" She asked, slight disbelief in her voice. Both Havoc and Breda grinned widely, but it was Kain who answered;

"It's mine and Breda's, but Havoc was allowed to work outside for a while, seeing as how the weather's so nice."

"Yeah, we don't know when that might stop." Breda replied, his gruff but warm voice startling Erica a bit. "Winter's coming quickly."

"It never gets too cold in Central." Al remarked from his lying spot. He looked very content with his arms under his head (_helmet_) and staring into the sky. He must be very hot in all that armor, but he didn't take it off. Erica bit her lip to keep from asking; it wasn't any of her business.

"Still, we might as well enjoy it." Edward said. There was a little stress in his tone, and Erica wondered if he was anxious to get back in and study her father's material. Before she could ask, he whipped his head around and looked at her.

"By the way, I wanted to thank you." He said, his voice very genuine. "For your father's research and all. I understand it must be hard with him… you know, gone…" He stopped himself, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. Erica was about to answer, but stopped short when she noticed something.

He was still in the same black clothes as last, without the red coat however (_still he must be melting too, _a small voice mused) and also without his gloves. She'd been too fascinated by the fight itself before, to notice his hands..

Or, his right hand, that was definitely not a _normal_ hand.

"You have automail?" She asked, blushing right after the words. "Oh, sorry, you don't have to answer that. Didn't want to blurt it out so suddenly…" She stopped her backtracking, watching his reaction closely. He'd become tense again, his arm stilling in midair. She could also feel Havoc, Fuery and Breda's eyes on her, and Al had suddenly become very still.

"Oh… yeah." Edward mumbled, slowly lowering his hand and looking at it. "I lost my arm in some of the rebellions up East."

Erica nodded sharply, not sure if it was just a painful subject or if he was lying.

"Sorry, it's none of my business. I just noticed." She mumbled, her eyes downcast. Her thoughts were going into frenzy. It was very painful, having automail attached, was it not? And he moved so swiftly with it, as if he'd been born with an arm of metal.

She remembered what her Uncle Sam had said; _Pain is temporary, quitting is forever._

It seemed the Elric brothers where truly living by that code.

"It's alright." Ed said, smiling at her. Erica let out a sigh of relief as the tension left the small group; he clearly meant it, and she was glad to let the subject go.

"So, how is the research going?" She asked, hoping not to pry into anything, but not able to contain it anymore; after all, she did have some part of it, and should be able to know.

"It's going alright." Edward said, instinctively looking around as if checking to see if someone was watching. Erica wondered what he had gone through, to grow up so quickly, to become so cautious and wary.

"Okay. I'm glad." She said, feeling her respect for the small boy growing.. Edward flashed a smile, and she felt the last of her resentment go away; maybe he wasn't so bad after all.

*

Yesterday had been so tiring and boring that Envy had almost started cheering out loud when Erica had decided to simply take a little walk the next day. It might not cause any action, but at least he would get a chance to walk a little too, maybe even take on the form of Rafael and talk to her again. It had been fun toying with her last time, watching her green eyes blaze as she got annoyed and angry and flustered.

He shook his head, dismissing the thoughts of her eyes; he would never admit, not even to himself, that he was more fascinated with them than necessary. No good could come from it.

He'd taken on the form of a blackbird and followed her closely, trying not to land in a tree with too many other birds; animals had a better sense than humans, and most could tell that he wasn't really one of them. He'd entertained himself with thoughts of flying down and scaring her or perhaps turning into Rafael and stalking her for a little while, of course making sure that she noticed. He could just imagine the flabbergasted look on her face when she realized that she was being followed by the weird boy she'd encountered the other night. He grinned widely at the thought.

However, all thoughts of things like that were stopped as he both saw as much as felt, the presence of someone else.

Instant hate flared up inside him, and it was all he could do not to turn back into his normal shape and crush the skull of that filthy, that reeking, _disgusting little midget…._

He did a double-take through the air and – deeply annoyed – let the wind cool his anger down. He hated not being able to do things like that, hated that he had a bloody _mission_, and couldn't just go on a rampage. But this was more important. He had a mission…

He would never admit to himself either that the thought of green eyes yet again calmed him down. Even more annoyed with himself he flew down into a tree in the small park, scaring a few doves that where sitting there. He landed on the branch with too much force, and with a loud 'knack' it broke over in half and landed on the ground. He flew up to another branch, seating himself there and trying to focus, both on the group's conversation and on not to break this branch too; his anger was becoming increasingly harder to control, but it helped a little if he just didn't look at Fullmetal..

However, he couldn't _help_ but look at him, as the dwarf took Erica's hand.. However, he didn't get really angry until she helped him up. The feeling even surprised him, although he took joy in it like he always did. What the hell? He'd never thought that Erica and the pipsqueak would get along at all. He'd at least thought that much of her – clearly he'd been wrong, and he couldn't for the un-life of him figure out why that bothered him.

Erica and Mini-Elric joined the others, and Envy nearly fell off his branch in boredom when he realized that they'd started talking about the weather. Honestly, how boring were these people?

The conversation perked up a little as she asked about his automail and then the research, but none of those topics were discussed more thoroughly. Soon they were talking about other things, and if he'd been able to, Envy was sure he would have fallen asleep a long time ago.

Time flew by fast, and suddenly it was a lot darker, Erica and the Elric-brothers were the only one in the park. Envy focused on their conversation again.

"No, it's fine, really." Erica said. "It's not that far, and I've kept you all day. I'm sure you're eager to get on with your research."

The brothers shared a look and Envy snorted; bloody hell, throw them a pretty girl and they forget everything about their life-mission. Ignoring the fact that he'd just mentally called Erica _pretty_, he added the term 'un-gentlemanly' to his list of things to possibly taunt Edward with. It wasn't very full of possibilities, but hell, he'd take anything he got. The list wouldn't hurt to get any longer, despite the hundreds of mental pages it was probably already filling.

Erica bid her goodbye to the brothers, an annoyingly pleasant smile on her face. Envy found a sudden urge to hit someone, hear their bones break; hear _her_ bones break, possibly just her arm or something painful. She looked more content than he'd ever seen her before, and it was after speaking with bloody Fullmetal.

He turned around, still in bird-form, and noticed a scared squirrel looking at him with wide eyes. Smirking, he quickly changed his head into that of a snake, snapping after the small animal. It gave a high squeak, jumping high in the air, before disappearing into the tree. He laughed out loud, turning fully into a bird again, and swung himself into the air.

Watching Erica, he noticed that she took a longer route back to Hughes place. Maybe she was dragging it out, not wanting to be faced with questions at home? Or maybe she just enjoyed walking; it was a very pleasing evening after all.

_And why the hell do I care?_ He wondered, flying a little higher while still keeping an eye on her. _Because I don't have anything else to do. This sucks. _

Well, he'd been bored for nearly two days now; Dante could only expect him to handle so much. With a wry grin he landed inside an alley a little behind her, checking that there were no peeking humans, before turning into the shape of Rafael Estrin yet again


	10. Night Time

_**Aaah, as promised, chapter ten, with loads and loads of EnvyErica interaction :P Hope you like!**_

_**Lorraine019 – **__Thankyou for your review :D and yeah, there haven't been much romance yet, but there's a little teeny bit in here, and it will be coming quicker now. However, I want to make a believable story, and for Envy to fall in love it would take a lot of interaction and growth. Hope you like this chapter!_

_**Incky-Chan **__– Thankyou for all of your reviews :D I'm glad that you like the plot and everything, and that you think Erica is believable and that everyone is in character. It's one of the best compliments I can get as an author! Erica is eighteen, I think I mentioned it somewhere, and it's also mentioned in the next chapter, but it's easy to overlook :P Ah, thankyou! I'm glad you noticed how aware Erica is, it's one of her best traits I think. So glad you like the plot :D Hope you like this chapter!_

**_Chapter elleven will be out tomorrow, 'cause my beta rule :D Hope you're feeling better ^^_**

**_As always, reviews is like chocolate and flames will be used for Roy's enjoyment ;P_**

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**Night Time**

_The longer our nights last, the more our dreams will be  
- Chinese proverb_

Erica shivered a little, suddenly feeling cold. She glanced over her shoulders, not seeing anything but shadows and an empty street.

The sun hadn't even gone down yet, and already she was more frightened than a mouse in a snake-nest. Really, this was getting beyond ridiculous.

But she just couldn't shake the feeling that was someone following her, watching her. It had come as soon as she'd stepped away from the park, into the already half-dark streets. The feeling was so intense that she'd been tempted to turn around and run right back to Ed and Al. But she'd told herself that she was ridiculous, and had stubbornly kept walking.

She tried to focus on something else, instead thinking back to her day in the park; she figured it could only be described as great. She got a warm feeling just thinking about it; everything had been so easy, the conversations flowing like a jolly little river. The few silences had been just as comfortable, each just lying and enjoying the specks of sunlight falling from the sky.

Erica was especially happy, because they'd been talking about innocent things: Havoc had been all about some girl in a flower-shop he'd just met, while Breda and Fuery had discussed who'd won the last battle of chess and if the Colonel and Lieutenant Hawkeye where involved with each other. The latter subject had amused Erica immensely, but she told herself she wouldn't start interfering in something that wasn't her business. She smirked a little when she thought about odd but leader-like and warm Roy with cold and calculated Riza Hawkeye. Somehow, the match didn't seem as crazy as one might think.

Then there had been Ed and Al; as soon as the others had left, Erica had both hoped and feared that they'd bring up Abraham's research. She was more than relieved when they didn't. She hadn't done anything but think about Abraham and his stupid research, and for just a few hours, she'd forgotten all about it. She'd been another person. A happy person.

Instead of the papers, they'd been telling her stories from when they were smaller, living in Risembool and playing around with their friend, Winry Rockbell. They'd also told a few horror-stories about their time with their teacher in Dublith. There'd been certain aspect of their lives they hadn't mentioned, and there were times when one of them would suddenly stop in the middle of it all, quickly mentioning something else. This didn't surprise her: she knew they had secrets and she had no right to know anything about any of them. She didn't ask.

It had also surprised Erica how much she'd actually gotten along with Edward. It wasn't so weird with Al: she figured the boy could get along with anyone as soon as they got talking with him, and if anything, she'd only grown to like him even more. With Edward there had been that nagging voice in the back of her head, telling her that she could never go along with a temperamental brute like that.

Of course, the voice sounded too much like Abraham's. She'd done her best not to listen to it, and had found the Alchemist's company very enjoyable. Like Al, she got the feeling that he wouldn't judge her for any of the things she currently blamed herself for doing, probably because whatever choices he'd had to face, they'd all been harder. She wondered if he felt that he'd ever chosen wrong choices.

She also found that they had more in common than she'd first thought: she remembered Abraham always scolding her when she lost her temper, especially when it came to some of the other village kids. With a father like that, she'd grown up quicker and had one of the best educations the country had to offer. Therefore her mental state had always been a lot older than other kids her age. Erica had never had much patience with idiots, and had more than once gotten into both verbal and physical fights, with some boys in particular. It had stopped when she'd become a teenager. She still flinched when she heard Abraham's voice in her head, scolding her for losing it, stating that only weak people did that. Eventually, she'd learned to control it, if only not to disappoint him more than she'd already done.

So it had definitely been wrong of her to judge him based on his temper: thinking back on it now, she couldn't help but smile at the thought. It was one of his bigger flaws, getting so riled up about his height when it really shouldn't matter. But no one was perfect, and Erica liked him anyway.

Then there was also the whole aspect of loss. Though none of them had mentioned any of it, the awareness that all three of them were without parents lay as a heavy blanket around them. But to Erica at least, it had felt more like a comforting hiding place, like kids making up a cave and dodging under their sheets to talk under there. For the first time since fully realizing that Abraham was truly dead, she didn't feel as if the whole world was conspiring against her. For the first time, she'd accepted that that was how things were.

Of course, as soon as she'd stepped away, all the feelings had come rushing back, the sense of someone following her being the biggest. Abraham's voice had boomed loudly in her head, screaming for her not to act foolishly and get a grip.

Erica suddenly stopped short, realizing that she'd mistakenly taken the longer route home. Glancing over her shoulders, the street behind her suddenly seemed even darker and looming, as if someone was just waiting in the shadows, ready to throw themselves at her when she walked past…

_Don't be such a baby!_ Erica thought to herself, shaking her head. _Take the longer route if you're so scared, just don't stand there looking lost!_

She bit hard down on her lip, closing her eyes and breathing in deeply. Right. The lounger route. Uncle Sam had taught her self-defense, as had Abraham. She could take care of herself. No one was following her; she didn't have anything valuable on her, so why should they? It was her being paranoid.

She determinedly kept walking, not caring that this way would take another ten minutes to get her home. She was _not_ scared!

Well, at least that's what she told herself. Her point was proven wrong however, as a hand suddenly closed over her wrist, and she not only jumped ten feet in the air, but also screamed out loud, so high in fact, that she saw the light turn on in one of the houses, and a window being opened.

She spun around trying to hit her attacker in the face, but her fist got caught in a strong, tanned hand. A wide grin met her eyes, right before her green orbs settled into purple ones.

It was Rafael.

"Oh." She breathed out, the realization hitting her. Then her face turned redder than a tomato. Rafael's eyes sparkled with mirth. Erica was at a loss for words, emotions running through her like a tornado: surprise, fear, anger, awkwardness, embarrassment. But before she could open her mouth to express any of them, someone shouted from the opened window:

"Hey! What are you two doing down there??" The owner sounded worried, and Erica realized what this must look like: her screaming and him holding onto her arms like that (she blushed even more when she suddenly became fully aware of the fact that he was touching her. Her inner voices was mocking her for being such a pathetic little love-sick girl)

"Sorry!" She turned around as good as she could, a little disappointed when Rafael let go of her arms. She was fully aware however, that he was still looking intently at her, smirking all the while. "Sorry, my friend just startled me! I'm so sorry we've woken you up."

The man in the window looked closely at them, his eyes suspicious before he nodded, ducking into the room again. "No harm done." He called after them before closing it and shutting the drapes. Erica breathed a sigh of relief, before spinning around and facing Rafael again.

"What the hell are you doing?" She yelled, resisting the urge to poke him hard in the chest. Her anger was hiding her embarrassment quite nicely, but she could see in his eyes that he knew. He was still smirking that damned smirk, his angel-like face making her knees go weak. He was even more beautiful than she remembered (an inner part of her nearly vomited by that admission, but it was ignored by the larger part that was ready to swoon).

"Uh, sneaking up on you?" He deadpanned, his smirk turning into a wide, satisfied smile. It didn't make her urge to hit him any smaller.

"You _are_ stalking me!" She accused with a hiss. Then it was her turn to smirk. "If you like me, you can just say it you know."

He didn't fumble around or started mumbling something random like she'd expected someone would normally do. He didn't even look embarrassed. Instead, he tilted his head to the side, looking at her with a both serious and amused expression. The smile had shrunk, now only tugging at the corners of his lips instead.

"You really are full of yourself." He simply said, and a shower of shock rushed down upon her. His voice, it didn't sound like him _at all_. If she didn't know better, she could have sworn it was _herself_ speaking.

"Wha… I… I'm not…" She fumbled, the situations suddenly reverted. She could feel the heat rising to her face again, and it didn't help when Rafael started laughing. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he was laughing too hard to catch his breath, he wasn't able to form a sentence. Erica had never been so embarrassed in her entire life before. Her hands tightened into fists, and she fought hard not to hit him.

_Should have poked him before,_ she thought. Then she shook her head, trying to regain control of her temper.

"Honestly, that's not very nice!" She muttered, scowling at him. "You , after all, were the one following _me_."

Rafael slowly stopped laughing, trying to catch his breath and wiping mock-tears of mirth away. Didn't make her opinion of him rise higher exactly, though he did look handsome when he smiled like that…

_Hormones on the loose! _Her mental warnings said, and she was suddenly suppressing the urge to hit herself.

"Are you sure about that?" He asked. "I was just walking by and saw you. You scream very prettily Erica, I simply couldn't resist the temptation."

It was then that it hit her, the danger radiating through everything. It wasn't just her imagination. It was coming from _him_. It was like an aura, sweeping around him, reaching out and engulfing her.

She shivered, her instincts kicking in, and took a step back. She'd only ever felt like this in the presence of the Fuhrer..

_You scream very prettily…_

"Erica? Honestly, is it nap-time already?" He sounded both amused an annoyed, one of his eyebrows raised. Immediately, the feeling of danger left Erica's body like a burden being lifted from her shoulders. She still felt wary though, not sure if it had been her imagination or not.

"Well, the sun _has_ gone down." She said, glancing at the horizon and trying to grow her back-bone.

"Well, last time I saw you, it was in the middle of the night, and you weren't exactly sleeping." Rafael smirked. "But maybe thoughts of me have kept you up so much lately; you haven't gotten any sleep at all!"

Alright, that was it. She glared at him and poked him hard on the shoulder, smiling triumphantly like a little child finding the room where the presents where hidden.

"And you say _I'm_ full of myself?" She teased, suddenly not feeling any tension at all. Actually, it was nice just standing here, talking to him.

"I never said _I_ wasn't." Rafael grinned back, suddenly not looking as menacing as he usually did. Erica smirked and blushed a little when she realized that she'd let her hand rest on his arm where she'd poked him. She quickly moved it and then froze.

Memories of the night where she'd first met him came rushing back: he still looked the same. His hair was still long and dark, his eyes still a deep purple, looking directly into her soul. He was still only a few inches taller, and wore the same clothes as last time; dark pants and dark jacket with a red symbol on the left shoulder.

Last time, it had been too dark for her to see it. But here, in the soft glow of the half-rising moon, standing so close to him, she could easily make out the red shape that formed an ouroboros on his shoulder.

Suddenly the whole world was spinning for her eyes, and she had to fight to keep herself upright. Memories came rushing back, Abraham telling her about the snake eating its own tail, her sketching away on Roy's paperwork, Denny Brosh asking her about it.

_Denny Brosh_…

"Eri…" Rafael started to say, but she'd already snapped out of her trance, staring at him with wide eyes. Before he could open his mouth again, she'd turned around and started running in the other direction.

Fear made her heart thump widely in her chest, made the blood rush through her veins. A strange whistling came over her ears and it was all she could focus on. She was gasping for breath, trying to catch it in her wild run away, far away.

It wasn't just fear that made her run so wildly; it was disappointment and betrayal too, she realized. In the very short span of time she'd known Rafael, she'd come to rely on him, always sure she would see him again. It was a giant mistake, trusting someone she didn't know. She could feel it tugging at her insides, curling everything into a ball that only grew bigger in her stomach, heavy like a rock. She couldn't breathe.

She _really_ couldn't breathe. Erica stopped short around a corner, leaning against a wall and trying to catch her breath. It came down her throat and into her lungs with a burning fever. She snapped a little, trying to take in a proper amount, but it felt as if her entire body was protesting against it. Maybe it was some sort of punishment for being so incredibly_ stupid. _

"Erica!" She stiffened, slowly turning around. Rafael stood behind her, his eyebrow yet again raised in question. He must have run to keep up with her, but he didn't look like he had at all; he wasn't trying to catch his breath, he wasn't even breathing just a little heavier. He hardly looked as if he'd moved at all. And she hadn't heard him coming.

"What the hell are you doing?" He asked, looking at her as if she was insane. Erica could feel the rock in her body soften, the sharp edges dulling a little.

"I…" She mumbled. "You…" She swallowed thickly and pointed at the symbol on his shoulder with a trembling finger. She was scared, she realized. This was big risk. The possibilities of her dying were very high right now, and despite what she might say otherwise, she feared death.

Rafael glanced at it, but only smirked, looking at her with amusement written all over his face.

"Scared of a snake?" He asked teasingly. The stone in her stomach disappeared all of the sudden, and Erica stared at him with an open mouth.

"It's a sign of recreation." He said, when she didn't seem to be able to string together a proper sentence. "You know, the mumbo-jumbo crap so many people believe in." He shrugged, making the red snake look as if it were moving. "I just think it looks cool." He flashed a wide grin, looking like a shark ready to attack. This time it didn't scare her however, it more made her want to kiss it away.

"Uh… uh… sorry I…" She mumbled trying to find words. "I…"

"Freaked out?" He said. "Is it that time of the month?"

Erica frowned and glared at him. He laughed as she hit him, and Erica frowned even deeper, looking at her hand. It had hurt _her_ to hit him, and she could just imagine how a bruise would be forming in the morning.

"You're a jerk." She mumbled.

"Of course."

"And an idiot."

"I already knew that."

Erica sighed, more than infuriated by him. She opened her mouth to say more, looked up and stopped. He'd stepped closer, only mere inches away from her now and her breath was hitching in her throat again. A weird sensation came over her, warmth flooding her stomach. Her face felt like ice was being pressed against it, except for the place his eyes where resting, which were her lips, she realized with a start.

He was already standing too close, and now he was stepping even closer. He was smirking widely, his eyes even darker than she'd ever seen before. Erica felt as if her spirit was being lifted from her body, as if she was floating upwards, watching herself from up there, while still being fully aware of every sensation her body was feeling at the moment. It prickled, like thousands of blunt needles against her skin, all the way out into her fingertips.

She wanted him to step even closer. It was stupid, and it was shallow, but she wanted him to come as close as humanly possible, to bend the few inches forward and press those dark lips against hers, his hair brushing against her cheeks and shoulders as she responded…

"You can't just run away you know." He whispered, repeating the words he'd said the first time they met. "I might be your true love."

Then he threw his head back and laughed. His dark hair flew around his shoulders, the moon glistening in at, making it look like a deep, dark green. Erica scowled, realized she'd been played by him.

"Do you have a death wish?" She hissed, shooting him her best threatening-look, and clenching her fist. He looked at her again, taking a step backwards in mock-fear.

"Yeah, 'cause you hit like a real man." He said, the words blurred over by laughter. "I'm still hurting from that poke you gave me."

"Oh shut up." Erica hissed, blushing for the hundredth time that evening. She felt confused and dizzy, and she wasn't sure if she could walk in a straight line if she tried. She felt _drunk_, and it was only because he'd tried to kiss her. She was acting like a fool in love.

"Well, I am pretty hardcore." Rafael said, not an ounce of a tease in his voice. He really meant it, and Erica couldn't help but smile at his confidence. "But you would probably be able to beat down some other guy. I wonder, what would you have done if it hadn't been me sneaking up on you?"

"Thus far you're the only one who ever do that." Erica mumbled. "I would have punched him in the face, like I would have done to you if you weren't so freakishly fast."

Rafael smirked. "I am pretty fast." He whispered, the word barely reaching her ears. He was smirking that malicious smile again, and despite the instinctive fear, she found that it made him even more attracting.

_I have serious issues, falling for a guy like this, _she thought, blinking a few times. Could she be more messed up?

"It's getting darker." She stated, feeling slightly uncomfortable. She was developing a crush on a boy she'd met twice. Nice.

"It is." Rafael said, his tone very serious. He was still smiling though. "Want me to walk you home?"

Erica smiled, remembering the last time he'd offered to do that. Like then, he sounded disgusted, but this time it also seemed more genuine. She still shook her head, however.

"No, I'm afraid that the only danger out here is you, Mr. Estrin." Erica teased back. "I'll be fine."

He titled his head to the side, studying her intently. She squirmed under his gaze, feeling like she was being sold on a market, the buyer evaluating how much he would give.

"Why did you take this way?" He suddenly asked, folding his arms over his chest. Erica frowned.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, spare it." He said, waving a hand. "I know where you live, and I know that this way is the longest. So why did you take it?"

Erica frowned deeply. "How do you know I'm not just out walking like last time? Maybe I walked around the fourth block and ended on the street I met you." Her frown deepened, and a knowing smile formed on her face. "You _are_ stalking me!"

Rafael simply smirked, not in the least bit embarrassed, though he suddenly seemed a little wary, his eyes glancing quickly around him.

"Just a little bit. Now, do you want to continue being in the presence of my glorious company, or would you rather walk home alone… in the dark… where people might attack you…"

"Or sneak up on me so that they can hear my pretty screams?" Erica asked, looking closely for his reaction. As expected, he simply smirked, leaning his weight a little more on his left food and stowing his hand in his pockets.

"Maybe yeah." He said. "Your answer?"

"I'll do fine by myself, thank you." Erica said, realizing she sounded like a snob, but not wanting to take her words back. "If Hughes or any of the others see you, I'll be bombarded with questions." She quickly swept her eyes over him, taking in his angelic face again. "Most of whom I can't answer because I don't know you."

He looked at her again, neither smiling nor smirking this time, but still with a small tugging upwards at the corner of his lips. "Yeah. I think you do."

Erica frowned, but before she could ask what the hell he meant by that, he'd given her a mock salute, bid her goodnight and turned around to disappear into the shadows again.


	11. Blush

_**As promised, chapter eleven. Thankyou to all of you awesome reviewers, you're really great :D I hope you like this!**_

_**Not really any Envy in this, but I hope you can forgive me after the last chapter, which hopefully made you happy on the romance-note :P**_

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**Blush**

It was a bit late, so Erica was a little surprised to see Hughes sitting in the kitchen, a newspaper folded out in front of him. There was a steaming mug of coffee by his side. He looked tired and worn out, but still flashed a smile as she entered.

"You've been out late." He said in a teasing tone. Erica mumbled something, trying to hide the smile that immediately wanted to overcome her face. She shrugged out of her jacket and hung it up, before kicking off her shoes and walking into the kitchen.

"Sorry." She said as she got nearer. "Time ran out for me."

"You don't have to apologize." Hughes said. "I just came back myself – Gracia left you some food in the fridge."

Erica nodded and walked over to take it out. As she turned on the stove to heat it up, she cast a glance over her shoulder, looking at Hughes. He really looked tired, even more so than she'd ever seen him before, and he'd had some pretty rough business the last couple of weeks.

"Are you getting anywhere with the case?" Erica asked, trying to sound casual. Hughes turned around, watching her over the rim of his glasses.

"I could say we were, but then I'd be lying." He sighed, rubbing a hand over his cheek. "That bloody Scar is a cunning one: just when we think we've got him, he's already gone."

Erica frowned. "But I heard rumors about him being in Lior?" She slowly asked, not wanting to let it slip that it was Havoc that had given her the information.. She didn't think Hughes would say anything about it, seeing as he himself filled her in, but she didn't want Havoc to get in any trouble because of her. Better being careful than careless.

"And there haven't been any recent attacks, has there? At least according to the news." She said, shooting a look to the paper on the table. Hughes followed her gaze and shook his head.

"There has been a few, but nothing has been leaked to the papers. The Fuhrer is handling this with a hard hand; he doesn't want anyone to panic over this."

Erica lifted an eyebrow as she poured her food into a bowl and grabbed a spoon. She would never think of King Bradley as someone who would care that much about the well-being of other people, but perhaps she was just being unfair. And if she was right, not being able to catch a crazy serial killer probably didn't look too good for the Fuhrer's image. Yeah, that seemed more like it.

She sat down across Hughes with her food, slowly eating and trying to read the newspaper upside down. She used to do that with Abraham, whenever they would eat breakfast together. He didn't like her reading it, always saying that the news was corrupt and not to be trusted. When she'd asked him why he read it himself, he'd just chuckled darkly and said that you had to know how your enemies thought. He'd stated that one day she would understand what he meant. Erica figured that whole incident should have been her first clue not to trust the Military. Unfortunately, it was too late now.

"So… Erica." Hughes slowly started, and she could hear something in his voice that immediately made her suspicious. He sounded both teasing and curious, mixed with something else.

"Hughes." She responded in a dead-pan voice.

"Have you had a good day, walking that long?" He asked, trying to sound casual and failing brilliantly at it. Erica squinted her eyes, looking at him closely.

"It was lovely, thank you very much." She said. "How was _your_ day?"

Hughes laughed. "Not that good, as you can probably guess." He returned to his newspaper. "The weather is nice. Did you go to the park?"

Erica bit her lip to keep from laughing as she dropped the spoon in the bowl and leaned back in the chair, her arms folded over her chest.

"Yes I did." She answered. "How did you know?"

"Know?" Hughes said, his voice innocent. "I didn't know. I just guessed. You meet anyone there?"

She couldn't help a smile from breaking out on her face. "I did. The Elric's and Havoc, Heymans Breda and Kain Fuery."

"Ah." Hughes said, the light from the lamp blinking in his glasses. "I thought so. They must have kept you for some time, what with you coming home so late."

Erica mentally shook her head, reminding herself that Hughes was an experienced investigator. He was certainly ripping her for information while verbally walking around her like a kitten in a nice, warm basket.

"It got a little later than any of us expected." She said, reaching for the spoon again.

"Yeah. I saw the others at the office. You must've had _some _fun with Edward and Al."

Erica choked on the mouthful she'd just taken, nearly inhaling the spoon down her throat. Hughes reached a hand over and thumped her back, a silly smile still plastered on his face. When she'd finished coughing she shot him a dark look, pushing her food aside.

"Hughes, what do you want to know?" She said. "Come on, just ask, I know what you're doing. I was raised by a military-man after all."

Hughes nodded, looking very serious though there was still laughter in his eyes.

"Erica." He inhaled deeply, and Erica suddenly got the feeling that he was about to tell her something very important. She leaned a little forward, watching him closely.

"Since Elysia is still so little, I haven't had the chance to do this yet." He slowly began, clearly choosing his words carefully. "And I know that you don't have any parents or a guardian to… well, come to in situations like this."

Erica frowned. What the hell was he getting to?

"And I must admit, that in the span of time you've stayed her, I have come to think of you somewhat as a daughter."

That revelation hit her completely off-guard. Erica could feel tears rise to her eyes and warmth shoot through her heart like an arrow made of sugar and cake. She was at a loss for words, desperately trying not to start crying like some silly teenager.

"I… I… Hughes… Thank you." She choked out, coughing into her hand to hide the moved part of her voice. "I feel the same about all of you." Dammit, why wasn't she better at this? She had no idea what to say, but Hughes seemed to understand, because he just nodded, still smiling. Erica shouldn't have been surprised – this was just how he was.

"Therefore." He slowly continued. "I also find it my duty to… inform you… about the… well, should I say risks', erh… certain relationships between a man and a woman can lead to…"

Erica's eyes widened as realization hit her full force. Her mouth fell open, and she was left gaping like a fish as Hughes continued.

"I do think you're quite young to take care of something like that, though it is amazing being a parent! Just look at this picture I took of Elysia yesterday…" He trailed off and started searching through his pockets, as Erica finally found her voice again.

"ARGH!" She screamed, making Hughes jump high in the air and look bewildered at her. She clasped her hands hard over her ears, fighting the urge to start whistling loudly.

"Hughes, please, _please,_ tell me you're not trying to have sex-talk with me!!" She shouted, her voice shaking in fear. Hughes slowly raised an eyebrow.

"But I am. Erica, if you're indulging in a sexual relationship, you have to know how to be safe…"

"STOP! Hughes!" Erica yelled, her face turning red. "I am _not_ involved in any kind of… of relations like that!"

Hughes looked surprised. "Really? I mean, I thought Edward was a little young for you, but one of the inn-keepers also saw you with some boy the other night, so I thought that might be why you've been sneaking out and stuff."

Erica's eyes widened. She wondered if she'd ever been so shocked in her life. Both about the thing with Edward and the thing that people where clearly spying on her all the time. It made her angry, but that wasn't her top priority right now.

"Edward?" She said, her voice turning slightly hysterical. "Edward Elric and me? In a… in a…" She couldn't even say the word. Hughes nodded.

"In a sexual relationship, yeah. You two are more alike than you think."

Erica fought the urge to scream. "But I… no… I eew… Hughes…" She made a face. "No. Not _ever_."

"Not your type?" He asked.

"I guess Edward is… very attractive." Erica said, picking her words carefully so that Hughes wouldn't jump to conclusions again. She still felt like someone had slapped her very hard with a brick-wall after the last revelation. "But… I hardly know him and… no…" She shook her head. "Not ever."

"And the other boy then?" Hughes said, interrupting her as she opened her mouth to protest again. "Because I could imagine that he would be one of those boys that would just leave you at the first sign of pregnancy…"

"HUGHES!!" Erica flew out of the chair, her face even redder than before. "STOP!! I am not involved with _anyone_!" She shrieked, trying to calm herself down as to not wake up the whole neighborhood. "I… _appreciate _your want to help, but it is truly not necessary! I'm eighteen Hughes, even if I was involved, my unc… my father already got to me about this!" She looked at him sternly as if to emphasize her point. She wondered if her face would ever return to its normal color after tonight.

Hughes squinted his eyes at her. "Are you sure?"

"Yes!" Erica said, nodding wildly, her short hair flying everywhere. "I'm _very_ sure!"

"Alright then." He said, smiling good-heartedly. "I guess that means I have to wait until Elysia's old enough." His expression suddenly turned dark, and Erica felt a little bad for the poor girl; if all her boyfriends had to get past daddy, she wouldn't get much luck with any of them.

She shook her head, mumbled an embarrassed thank-you to Hughes and went over to the sink, silently rinsing the bowl and spoon. She could hear the rustling of the paper as Hughes continued reading, a low whistle coming from his mouth.

As she stood there, she had to bit her lip again, this time to keep from laughing. She shouldn't be surprised she guessed; Hughes was exactly the kind of man who would try to have a sex-talk with a person he cared about if he thought they were involved with someone. Hell, he was probably the kind of man who would walk over to complete strangers and strictly warn them to 'be safe in bed'. She shook her head in amusement, but it quickly faltered as her traitorous thoughts strayed back to earlier that night.

Had people really thought that her and that gorgeous, angel-boy were involved? Erica snorted at the thought. She knew she wasn't ugly in any way, but before Rafael, she'd never had any feelings for any of the boys she'd met. They were all either immature or plain stupid. Furthermore, even if she did find love (Rafael's face came into her mind again, but she swiftly ignored it), she couldn't imagine any man or woman for that matter, wanting to keep up with her, and deal with her issues. Despite her friendship with Havoc, Hughes and his family as well as Edward and Al and all the others, she really wasn't very social. People would grow tired of her and her problem-filled life if they hung around her enough.

She guessed she was too much like Abraham in that matter. As soon as she'd finished that thought, she was bombarded with everything else about his life. The way Hughes and Roy, and everyone else always spoke about him with such respect and warmth. The way even the Fuhrer seemed to take a step back and at least admit that this was something worth his attention.

How come she had never known about that side of her father before? Sure, she knew he was respected and could lead an army, hell a country if he wanted to, but the man they spoke of wasn't a leader who simply inspire fear and demanded respect. It was a man that sounded like he would lay his life down for his men, as well as they for him.

It wasn't a man she'd known, and she wondered what could have changed him, or what could have made him act so different at home. Was it because of her mother?

And then she remembered that even Abraham had found love. Erica smirked humorlessly, putting the bowl and the spoon in place.

"I think I'll retire for the night." She said, turning around to face Hughes. He lifted his eyes, nodding slowly.

"Goodnight." He said.

"Night."

She was at the brink of the stairs, when his voice suddenly reached her again.

"Erica… that boy."

Erica slowly turned around, hoping this wasn't another sex-talk.

"Hmm?"

"Who is he?"

"Oh… just someone I met." Erica said, knowing that if she gave Hughes his name, he would start looking through Military files to see if he could find him. While a part of her wanted to know more, the bigger part didn't want to have her judgment clouded, even by something terrible about him. "Don't worry, I won't get into anything stupid." She promised, hoping that he understood the double meaning of her words. If the inn-keeper had described Rafael properly, Hughes had probably gotten the same impression as she had the first time she met him: that Rafael Estrin was trouble.

And despite the fact that every inner alarm-clock she had was going off in her head, she didn't care. As long as she could get close to him, talk to him, watch him…

As she reached the end of the stairs she stopped short, realizing how infatuated she'd become. She shook her head, mumbling a curse to herself. She'd gotten soft and silly and stupid. The three S's Abraham would have probably warned her against had he stuck around long enough to. She sighed, fighting her hateful thoughts away. It seemed they were coming full-circle against her again, and just when she'd felt like she was starting to understand him.

She felt like too many thoughts were building a home in her mind: the research, her father, Ed and Al, Rafael… especially him at the moment.

She couldn't for the life of her figure him out, and maybe that was what had made her form a crush on him so quickly. Erica had always liked challenges, puzzles that couldn't be solved with a simple twist of a hand. He was interesting, always acting against what she most expected, always questioning everything they both did. In the matter of two meetings, she'd seen so many different sides, so many different faces of him. He didn't seem like any other human she'd ever met. Erica wondered with a wry smile if he was even human, but that made her think too much about the ouroboros on his shoulder, and she started shaking in subconscious fear.

Erica sighed, forcing herself to clear her thoughts and think of something that wouldn't make her lie awake and wonder all night. She stepped into her room, and stopped short at what she saw.

Her room looked exactly like it did as she'd left it, the bed neatly made and a bunch of clothes folded in a pile on the chair. But the window was opened, and she was absolutely sure she had closed it before she left.

Slowly walking closer into the room, her eyes fell on something on her pillow. Surprised, she walked over and picked it up.

It was a small tube, the long ones used in a lab or a hospital or something. Inside a white lily stuck in, resting upside down with the head in the water. It already looked a bit withered and also like it had been stomped very violently down the tube, but it was sparkling with a natural beauty that made her very thank-full for whoever had put it there.

She was sure it definitely wasn't anyone in the house. But who then?

Setting the tube aside and slipping into her night-clothes, Erica figured she probably _would_ lie awake and wonder all night. But as soon as her head hit the pillow, she fell into a deep slumber, the soft light of the moon shining through the still open window and lightening up the white, ghost-like flower.

*

_She was dancing through the field, the grass as green as her eyes. Her long blonde hair was flying everywhere, before she suddenly threw herself into the grass, calling out for him to come over to her. He did, lying beside her and staring into the sky. _

"_That one." She said, pointing towards a cloud. "It looks like a snake."_

_He frowned, his brown eyes taking in the shape. "You're right it does." It was his turn to point. "And that one looks like a flower."_

"_It does!" She laughed, reaching out a hand and plucking something from the grass. "It looks like this one." She held it up for him to see. "William, what kind of flower is this?"_

_William huffed.. "It's a lily. Don't you know?"_

_He turned his head, met her eyes, and everything inside him melted away, his blood turned warm and his heart stopped beating. There was nothing about him, nothing besides her. _

_She was laughing. It was beautiful. Mesmerizing. _

"_I'm so terrible at remembering names." She said, running the tip of the white flower over the bridge of his nose, over his cheek-bones and chin. It made him blush. _

"_But you'll remember mine, right?"_

_She laughed again. "Of course. I could never forget any part of you William." She smiled at him, a smile meant only for him, and nothing else mattered. __Nothing else. _

* * *

_**Before everyone goes for my throat, I would like to add that Envy has a very specific reason for doing the flower-thing, which will be revealed in the next chapter which – le gasp – is not from Erica's POV :) Until then, reviews make me happy, so very happy ^^**_


	12. Monsters

_**Yay, it's up ^^ Thankyou ikldmrogers :D **_

_**Now, I was a bit unsure about this chapter, because… well ^^ and you're welcome to point out if you find it OOC, but please keep in mind that I am putting the characters in situations we haven't seen them in, ever. This is simply my take on it :) **_

_**Before we begin, thankyou so much for all the lovely reviews :D You're all getting mentally glomped right now ^^**_

_**Inky-Chan **__– Again thank-you for your review :D I simply couldn't pass up the chance of writing Hughes giving the sex-talk xD And I love writing Embarrased!Erica, so that was just even more great :D Hope you like this chapter!_

_**Double-Entrende **__– Oh… wow, I hardly know what to say. Thank-you so much for your lovely, lovely review! It really moved me, and I cannot possibly say how happy you've made me with it! Reviews makes me want to write, and boy, did I write after getting yours. I am honored that you think so highly of my story. Thank-you so much! And I'm glad you like the names ^^ I tried to find not-too ordinary but still not completely foreign names that wounded powerful. I am glad I succeeded :D  
Again, all I can say is; Thank-you for that fantastic review :D _

_**On another note:**__** Me and my beta talked a little about the time-line in this story, and up until now I've mostly been playing on the over-seen time in between the anime episodes. But I did some thinking, and this chapter is set directly before Ed and Al finds out 'the truth' about the Stone through Marcoh's research. However, I have changed a lot of the time-line and plot, seeing as how they know also have Abraham's research :) Overall, the plot will be changed a little, probably move either slower or faster than in the anime, but if you're getting confused, feel free to write to me, and I'll try to explain about where in the story/anime we are!**_

_**Phew, that's gotta be the longest author's note I've ever written. Sorry for keeping ya ^^ On to the story.**_

**_Oh, BTW: The next chapter will be up this week too, probably in the weekend :) _**

* * *

**Monsters**

_There are few monsters that warrant the fear we have of them  
- Andre Gide_

Her long nails were gently clicking against the table in front of her. Her dark hair fell in soft and long curls around her shoulders, all the way down to her waist, and her purple eyes where sparkling with intensity as she surveyed the room around her.

The sound of a bone being cracked and saliva falling everywhere came from her right. She shot an annoyed look to the man responsible to the noises. He was her opposite in every way; where she was tall, he was short. Where she was thin and graceful, he was fat and burly. His arms where as thick as a giant tree trunk and looked like they could crush boulders with one swipe. He was currently busy devouring what looked to be the corpse of a giant ox.

His eyes where as purple as hers, and they wore the same dark clothes, red pieces adorning parts of it. Neither of them spoke, or had spoken for the last half hour. There was silence in the room they were sitting in, a heavy silence that made the woman edgy. The man didn't even notice, he was too busy eating.

Finally she snapped, as another bone was broken in half, the sound causing a loud echo to flow through the hall.

"Gluttony!" She hissed, spinning around to glare at the man. "Would you stop that?!"

"Sorry Lust." Gluttony said, spitting out the meat in his mouth. "But… hungry. Food!"

Lust sighed, leaning her chin against her hand. "Yes, that's fine Gluttony. But try to control yourself." She eyed the piece of meat he'd spit out with disdain. "Mother is coming soon, and you do not want her to see all this mess, do you? You know how angry she gets whenever Envy trashes some of the houses…"

"Of course Lust! Sorry Lust." Gluttony hiccupped, quickly shoveling half of everything in front of him down his throat before pushing the rest to the side, and _then _swallowing. Lust ignored it, too use to it care by now.

She felt like she'd waited forever, sitting in this rotten chair in this rotten house. She hated this dwelling, as much as she knew that Envy and Pride hated it. Hell, even Greed hadn't liked it here. The only ones who seemed to like it were Sloth and Dante. Dante especially: this was her old house. The house she, Hohenheim, and their precious little William had lived in. For everyone else, it radiated all the dark deeds that had been done here, things that scared even the Homunculi. Dante loved it however, reveled in it all. She really was a sick masochist sometimes.

Lust figured Sloth didn't mind because she hadn't been around so much; she hadn't been there in the early years, in the years where Envy wasn't as angry as he was hurt. Of course, he was still angry, but at that time he'd been building up his hate, each little drop slowly building and building upon the other, until his personal ocean was completely filled, ready to pull in and drown everyone around him.

She hadn't been around that long either, but insight had always been a big trait in her: she'd quickly come to understand everything surrounding her co-workers. In turn, the few times they needed to, they would normally come to her to complain. She didn't speak about it to anyone else, and Dante certainly didn't care for it. Especially Envy… She smirked. All the things she could tell about Envy's past life: it was quite interesting, really.

A loud noise ripped her out of the thoughts. Speak of the devil; Envy was storming into the room now, pieces of an expensive vase from Xing still in his hand. Dante was following closely behind, her old figure standing in sharp contrast to the bodies she normally preferred. Her wrinkled face was calm with seeps of annoyance as she stared at her first creation.

"There really was no call for that, Envy." She sneered, sounding like a teacher scolding a student. The last of the vase crumbled to dust in Envy's fist.

"No call… it was a stupid vase!" Envy shouted, the sound even louder than the beforehand broke-cracking. It made Lust and Gluttony wince, both not daring to interfere in this row.

"As far as Pride tells me, you haven't been acting according to your orders." Dante continued, more annoyance than patience in her voice now. "You've been putting the whole mission at stake!"

"Mission?" Envy's eyes were wide now, his mouth hanging halfway open in disbelief. If it the whole situation wasn't quite terrifying, Lust would have snickered at the image. "I **AM** the bloody mission! I'm the only one doing any work! I'm closing in on her, I'm gaining information, while Pride goes _la-la_ in his fucking office!" A fist was banged into the ground, causing a deep hole to form on the floor. Dante's face turned an unhealthy shade of red. Lust and Gluttony shared a look, both contemplating if it was best to retreat before the whole building went down.

"If you let your emotions come into play…" Dante started, but was interrupted by Envy letting out a shout of rage, yet again trashing the floor. This time it made the whole ground shake, causing Dante to stumble backwards a little, hardly able to gain balance. Gluttony was quickly at her side, helping her stand up again. Lust stood up too, moving closer to Gluttony and keeping a wary eye on both Envy and Dante. The latter's eyes were flashing dangerously, a scowl deeply etched into her face. Envy was glaring, breathing in heavily, trying to control his anger.

"My _emotions_!" Envy spat out the word, his teeth gritted hard together. **"My…"** His face was flashing, different emotions and changes flittering over it. His teeth grew longer, fangs forming, snakes flittering through his green hair. His eyes where suddenly red, claws forming on his nails.

They were all prepared as he leapt forward, an array of different shapes and monsters, ready to attack his creator. Dante didn't even flinch as Lust's nails cut through the other sin, throwing him several meters backwards. It had been at least fifty years since Envy last had a fit like this: it only proved Dante's theory of something not being right with this mission.

Lust didn't think too much on it, she was just happy the sin was in so much of a rage that he couldn't put up a proper fight. She held her tongue to the fact that he was much like the Fullmetal dwarf in that way. Both lost their tempers too easily. Of course, she wasn't going to mention that to him.. She very much preferred having all her limbs intact.

Envy stood up from the floor, slowly returning to his normal form. His eyes were still blazing as they stared at Dante, hate pouring out of them.

"My emotions are not getting in the way of anything." He sneered. "I've had two encounters with _that girl_, and she never suspected anything. I haven't revealed anything or done anything to jeopardize this _mission_ of yours. I've played my part according to my orders."

Dante raised a gray eyebrow, one hand resting on Lust's shoulder for support. She still looked regal however, like an old empress, looking at her soldiers.

"Then why did you find it necessary to attack your own mother?" She asked, her voice as hateful as his eyes. It was mixed with fake hurt however, and Lust had to fight herself from wincing at the tone. "Surely there must be something that makes you lose your temper so much."

Envy looked at loss for words, angry that she'd coated him into this. Lust frowned, watching him closely. Dante was right, something more was definitely up. But Envy didn't look like he was about to share this information. He had to come up with something of an explanation however. Dante was waiting.

"The pipsqueak was there yesterday." He slowly said, his teeth still gritted so hard together it was hard to make out his words. "Pride gave him the information."

"We _want_ him to have the information." Dante said, impatience lazing through her whole being now. "You have to grow up someday; you're acting so pathetic I'm ashamed to call you my son."

"**I AM NOT YOUR SON!!"** Envy shouted, his voice so loud it made dust flutter from the ceiling. Even Dante looked a little taken aback, though Lust had guessed something like this would happen as soon as Dante had uttered the word 'son'.

The green-haired homunculi spun around, a blur of black as he disappeared into the rest of the city. They all heard something very big being ruined a few miles away, probably the roof of the old city-hall or something. Lust sighed, moving away from Dante. Envy really had to be careful; otherwise his 'mother' would know that something was going on. It wasn't really hard for Lust to guess, but perhaps she had better empathy than Dante. She almost snorted at the thought: hell, _Greed_ had better empathy than Dante. Her creator was a soulless monster, even more so than the lot of them. She didn't even understand her own son, or at least, what was left of him.

As she gave her report on the latest activity to Dante, her mind wandered away. What _could_ have made Envy so riled up? Perhaps the Fullmetal Alchemist had done something, gotten under his half-brothers skin. Or perhaps Hohenheim had been spotted somewhere, and Envy was simply eager to finally have his revenge instead of rotting away in Central, looking after that Jordon-girl.

Whatever it was, Lust knew that Envy's former life was taking a toll on him. Perhaps, as big of a toll as it seemed to be taking on her these days. But she couldn't, wouldn't dwell on that. She had business to do.

*

He was sitting in a place no one would find him. Not even Dante would think of looking for him here, in spite of the obviousness of the place. But then again, he hadn't dared step into this room for nearly three-hundred years.

It had taken nearly an hour for his temper to cool down. Everything in his path had been ruined completely, buildings, streets, even a stupid statue of a sitting dog had crumbled to dust under his hands. But now he was just sulking, sitting in the darkness of the room and trying to let the shadows consume him.

His thoughts were in an array, swirling all around him. He wondered if he could reach up a hand and maybe pluck them out of the air; study them, hold them in his hand and keep them from making his head so confused. It was a game he'd used to play when he was younger, as a way of getting everything together, as a way of understanding everything.

_No_. It was a game _William_ had played. Envy tightened his fist together, pretending to crush the non-existent thought in his hand. He wasn't William.

He wasn't her son.

He opened his hand again, palm upwards, and pretended to blow the crumbled thought away, the dust of it seeping into the air and towards the floor. He was sitting on a back-less chair, both legs pulled up to his chest and his weight leaned forward. One of his arms was resting atop his knees, while the other was still reached out, as if trying to catch the flying thoughts again.

If he wasn't William, then why did _she_ affect him so much? Why did his stomach feel like it was taking a turn in a rollercoaster every time she looked at him with those eyes? Those stupid, sapphire-blazing orbs that was sure to make him burn, was sure to put all thought and reason away from his mind. When she looked at him like that, he didn't even want to kill her.

Angrily, he reached out his hand and took one of his green locks. It wasn't the exact color far from it, but it was still close enough. He gritted his teeth hard together, yanking at the hair until the lock came loose. He let it dangle between his fingertips in front of him, looking closely at it in the darkness that surrounded Hohenheim's study and lab. The dust was thick everywhere, a set of footprints leaving evidence of where he'd went. There were spider webs everywhere, covering the tubes and other instruments. One of the tubes was missing, but that didn't surprise Envy: he'd been the one to take it last night. He frowned, letting go of the hair and watching it float down onto the dusty floor. Now that Dante seemed to think he was too _emotionally involved_ (his teeth grinded so hard together at the thought that cracking noises started coming from his mouth) it might not have been such a good idea to do that. He was pretty sure none of them had noticed, but if they did found out, all of them would be sure to tease him mercilessly over the fact that he'd _given a flower to a human girl_.

A stupid, silly, green-eyed and very stunning human girl.

But it hadn't been about giving her that flower. He hadn't even wanted to do it: it had just seemed bloody _right_. A flower, upside down in a medical tube. It was like it was William who'd wanted him to do it. Except, that was even more ridiculous, because William was long dead and gone, and now it was just Envy, Envy who wanted nothing more than to hate and kill and destroy, and certainly didn't want to hold anyone close or tease them just to watch their _amazingly_ green eyes flash, or look closely as their brown hair flew around their face or make them shut up by kissing them…

No, he really didn't want _**any**_of that. Envy fought the urge to trash the table a few inches away by banging his head against it. The noise would just alert the others to where he was, and he might wring Dante's neck if she came in right now…

_Dante_. William's mother. Envy's creator.. A constant in his life and unlife, no matter if he wanted it or not. He hated her, hated her for being selfish enough to bring back a son that was better off death. Hated her for bringing back _Envy_ instead of William, as she should have, the incompetent fool. But he didn't hate her as much as he hated Hohenheim. The mere thought of that bastards name made his blood boil, made red glints form before his eyes. At least, Dante would not stand in the way of his goal. At least, Dante wouldn't leave her family, run away as soon as she understood the mistake she'd made.

At least Dante wouldn't have stood in the way of William's happiness.

He winced at the thought, his eyes closing. He could see the whole scene playing out there, behind his lids, as if he was watching a movie or imagining words from a book. It was all so clear, and despite the fact that it wasn't him there, that he wasn't William, he was still there, looking like he knew he _really_ looked, feeling the things he _really_ felt, instead of just this stupid reflection that Envy was.

"_He's dying."_

Flashback, to the kind nurse that had tended to William's poisoning, had whispered encouraging words in his ears, and had shot dark looks at his parents as they turned their backs to him, too busy with other things.

"_Of course I care. It's such a waste isn't it?"_

And that was what William had been. A waste of space. Never good enough, always failing. Despite his mother gushing over how perfect he was to her friends, despite his father's kind looks of what maybe could have turned into love, he still wasn't good enough. The scolding every time he did something wrong burned, the disappointed looks made his blood turn to ice, knowing he had failed, knowing he was a failure and couldn't do anything right.

And he'd felt like nothing mattered, like he didn't matter, until she came. And then, his parents didn't count anymore, his own life didn't count anymore, because she saw him and she appreciated him and she _loved _him.

"_Well… I… I missed you."_

"_William, what kind of flowers is this?"_

"_I'm so terrible at remembering names…"_

"_I could never forget any part of you, William."_

"_I'm glad." He mumbled into her shoulder as he held her close in a deserted alley. "I'm so glad that you're here."_

_She made a sound, as if she was hurt and annoyed that he would say something like that. _

"_Of course. You've been gone for nearly half a year… of course I'd be here when you came back." She untangled herself from the safety of his arms, looking closely at him, her green eyes squinted together. Then they folded out again, a wide smile spreading on her face. _

"_Have you always been this tall or did Xing do something funny to you?"_

_He just laughed, pulling her closer. "Marry me." _

_She wasn't sure if he was joking or not. _

*

In Central, Amestris, it was raining too. The rain was drumming lightly against a closed window, hiding the moonlight that would have otherwise shined into the small room. A form was lying in the bed, sleeping soundly. Her short brown hair was in a disarray on the pillow under her head, and the sheet was kicked halfway off her body. She frowned in her sleep, her lips forming soundless words.. She was dreaming, possibly something troubling from the look on her face. If one could see inside her head, they would see a study in flames and a man hanging from the ceiling, a rope around his neck. They would see another man sailing off, waving slowly at the small girl, promising to be back, but never returning.

In a few moments, the unpleasant dream would turn into a full-fletched nightmare full of green monsters and one-eyed creeps. She would be waking up screaming in the early morning, when the sun had just risen from its sleep.

*

She'd always loved lilies. It had been her favorite flower, ever since that day in the field. She always boasted about how she would have a florist-shop, and how over half of it would be lilies. She would sell lilies for a living she always said, only ever doing so to people she liked or people who would give them to someone they loved.

He'd asked if a lily wasn't a flower most used for funerals, especially the white ones. She'd frowned, sighed deeply and said that it was a very wrong tradition: lilies should spread joy, not sorrow.

"People can get other things to find joy in." He'd said, his eyes sparkling as they watched her gather more of the fragile flowers.

"Well, they shouldn't." She'd stated, looking very determined. He'd know he shouldn't start a discussion about this: she would never cave in.

He was very certain she hadn't laid lilies on his grave: he'd made the mistake of placing them on hers.

Ignoring the rain, he opened the window, quickly closing it before it could wake Erica up. She was lying on her back, breathing heavily and looking like she was in the last place she wanted to be.

For a moment he toyed with the idea of waking her: he was already in the form of Rafael in case someone noticed him crawling up to her room. But it would be too dangerous; if she looked at him too much with those eyes, he wouldn't be able to leave again, and Dante would be proven right. He couldn't have that.

He walked over to the tube on her nightstand, his steps as silent as a ghost's would be. He wondered if that was actually what he was, a ghost, a reflection of what William or perhaps someone else had been. But he didn't have time to wonder, he couldn't stay here too long. He quickly removed the now-dead lily in the tube, replacing it with the one he'd carried with him. He laid it back on her nightstand, the exact same spot as before.

If green eyes bound them together in life, then perhaps lilies could do it in death.

The window-still broke under his hands as he watched her before he left. He looked annoyed at it, trashing it completely before disappearing into the night. The sound hadn't awoken her.


	13. The Divine

_**Oh my Envy! An **_**update!!**_**  
Thank you all for your lovely reviews :D **_

_**Inky-Chan – **__Thanks for the review :D And yeah, I've read the manga, and I'm glad you found the whole Envy-thing believable! And it isn't exactly Erica's past life, it's just the girl William was in love with, and it is a coincidence that they have the same eyes :) But I can see how there might be confusion there :) And milk is evil, lol ^^  
and the lovers name will be revealed, but not until later into the story :) Again, thank-you and so glad you liked it. _

_**Lorraine019 – **__Thank-you :D I can't promise too much, but they definitely will at some point :D_

_**Double-Entendre – **__I am so happy that you liked it :D I do love angst and drama, as you can probably tell :P and I'm happy it's working in drawing the reader into the suspense and feelings too :D And I'm glad you like the more tender version of Envy, I was a bit nervous on that, but I knew I had to expose it somewhere in the story and this seemed like a good way :D Glad you liked it! Hope you like this chapter!_

_**I'm holding an angst-party here :P This chapter is a very serious breaking point in the story and I got so emotional writing it – I've put much thought into it, and I really like how it turned out. And I said I'd update in the weekend but – aargh! – It's Thursday!! Don't worry, I'm not an imbecile ;P I just wanted to have this chappie up fast, to see what you all think :) The next update will be around Monday, perhaps before or after, depends on when we go sailing ^^ But it will be up quickly! :D **_

_**On to the story!**_

* * *

**The Divine**

After deciding that Erica was much too alone at his home, and thus bored, Hughes had dragged her with him to Headquarters, stating that he had a very busy subordinate who could use an assistant. Erica didn't make any fuss about it at all; only happy to have something to do that would keep her mind off more harmful subjects. Like the fact that someone had been in her room, broken the window, and placed a fresh flower in the testing tube.

If she thought about it too much, she was pretty sure her head would explode. A headache had already formed the other day, when she'd yet again sat inside, thinking everything through.

So, though she hid it, she was practically jumping at the idea of having something to do. Not only would it make those slow hours go by faster, but, maybe, it would also give her a chance to uncover more about the Military. It was a very small maybe, but right now, she'd take anything she got.

During all that thinking, she'd come to one conclusion at least: she would _not_ stay here in Central forever. She would get out somehow, even if it took years. Either she would do it as soon as possible, hopefully guiding Edward and Alphonse into helping her (she'd come up with a lot of different scenarios, one more unlikely than the other, but still quite amusing) or she would wait a few years, until their watch on her wasn't as close. But then again, a few years might be too late. She was completely sure that the Fuhrer was up to no good, and that was what Abraham had been trying to tell her with his last doings.

Erica looked around the room Hughes had dragged her into, amazed at all the books and piles of papers that were piled everywhere; floor, chairs, couches, tables, absolutely everywhere. Hughes looked at his watch, then let go of her arm.

"I really have to go – I'm already late for the meeting." He smiled. "Her name's Sheska, and she has a habit of hiding amidst her work – just call and search for her, tell her you're her new assistant sent by me." He patted her on the shoulder. "You'll hold your breaks with her, and I trust you can find your own way back home?"

Erica smiled slightly. "Yeah, I'm good. Thanks Hughes."

He nodded. "Just ask her anything, where the cafeteria is, she knows her way around…"

"Hughes…"

"… and try not to get lost in here, it is a pretty big building…"

"_Hughes_!"

He blinked and looked at her. "What?"

"Your meeting?"

"Oh! Right!" He gave her one last wave before quickly exiting the room. Erica gave a little laugh before turning to face the room again.

"Uh… Sheska?" She gently called, feeling a little stupid. No response. Erica frowned, and walked further into the room, trying not to step on any books or paper. The room was completely silent, and she suddenly felt very alone. The high stacks suddenly seemed very menacing, and she felt no bigger than an ant at the moment.

Which was why she jumped high in the air when a small 'bump' followed by an 'oof' and the sound of books falling to the floor reached her ears.

"Sheska?" Erica rounded the corner, looking worriedly for the other girl. She found her on the floor, rubbing her head, surrounded by fallen books and papers.

"Oh…" She cracked open one brown eye behind thick glasses, looking at Erica with wonder. "Oh…"

"Are you alright?" Erica asked. Sheska nodded her head.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine." She said, taking Erica's outstretched hand and getting to her feet. "I'm Sheska!"

"Oh. Erica Jordon." Erica introduced herself, shaking the hand she was still holding. "Um, Hughes sent me. Said you could use an extra hand."

"Oh! Oh I could!" Sheska was all smiles. "Come on, I'll show you what to do." She grabbed Erica's arm, dragging her further into the room. Erica wryly thought that the girl had been hanging around Hughes too much.

The morning and afternoon slid by fast, with Erica suddenly having loads to do. Filing away, correcting small mistakes that may occur in Sheska's busy, but neat writing, sending out forms and requests, running from room to room asking High-ranking officers where the hell these papers were supposed to be. She'd gotten quite a laugh when she'd burst into Roy's office after being sent there by three other Military men. The Colonel had been sitting in his chair, sleeping soundly, even snoring so loudly she wondered why she hadn't heard him miles away.

She'd slid further into the room, contemplating if she should wake him up or go find someone else who might know the answer to her question. Her decision had been made by Roy himself, as he'd suddenly gone very silent, still sleeping. A few seconds later a low murmur came from him, followed by a very clear 'Riza' being spoken aloud. Erica had slowly backed out, leaving him be.

Despite the multiple paper-cuts that now adorned her hands and fingers, not to mention all the ink-stains, Erica found that she enjoyed herself immensely. Sheska seemed shy of when one of the officers looked by, but as soon as they were alone again, the other girl kept talking: about the weather, her mother who was in the hospital but quickly recovering, exciting books she'd read and everything else that merely hit her mind. Erica answered when needed to and came with encouraging sounds all the while, enjoying Sheska's company more than she had thought she would. The girl was odd, no doubt about that, but Erica was used to odd people by now. But she also liked her, because Sheska didn't ask her personal questions, and if Erica seemed hesitant to answer something, she'd quickly skip on to a new subject.

It wasn't until Sheska suddenly dropped the book she'd been carrying and stared at her watch with wide eyes, that Erica noticed how much time had passed.

"Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry!" Sheska said. "It's over lunch-time, and I've kept you working so long! I didn't even notice!"

"Oh. That's alright. I'm not that hungry." As if on cue, her stomach started to rumble. Erica couldn't help but laugh at Sheska, who still looked sheepish. "But I'm sure we still have time for a bite."

"Well…" Sheska chewed on her bottom lip. "I usually eat at the hospital cafeteria with my mother, but you're welcome to come if you want to?"

Erica remembered how the girl had just ranted on how excited she was to see her mother today, and gently smiled. "No, that's alright. I'll just go find Ro… Colonel Mustang or one of his subordinates. Or go bug Hughes, I bet he wouldn't mind a break." Erica was a bit more hesitant to do that however, seeing as how the Fuhrer being with Hughes was more of a possibility than him being with Mustang. She nearly shuddered at the thought: she really couldn't handle seeing him right now.

"Ooh, you know the Colonel?" Sheska asked, fluttering around the room looking for her bag. "He's a nice fella, isn't he?"

"Yeah." Erica mumbled, thinking with a smile about earlier that morning.

"And very handsome." Sheska mumbled, staring off in the distance. Erica watched amusedly as Sheska quickly snapped out of it, blushing profoundly. "I-I mean, he's very pretty, not that I…"

"I understand." Erica laughed, remembering how she herself had gotten just a little weak in the knees during their first encounter. "He has that effect on people." She opened her mouth to say something more, but suddenly noticed that Sheska had frozen on the spot, staring at something behind her.

Erica slowly spun around, only to come face to face with Roy, standing a little away in the door. He smirked widely at her.

"Hello Erica! Would you care to have lunch with me in the cafeteria before it closes?" He asked, all bright smiles. "I was so busy I completely forgot the time, and I figured you might've been working hard too."

Erica coughed into her hand to keep from laughing. 'Busy', yeah right.

"Okay. I was just about to go actually." She turned around to Sheska. "When am I due back?"

Sheska, still with a blush in her cheek, absently waved her hand. "Oh… just whenever you're done."

"Thanks!" Erica turned around. "See you later Sheska!"

She barely heard the response from the other girl, as Roy had suddenly grabbed her arm and all but _dragged_ her down the hall, whistling loudly all the while.

"You people really need to stop hanging out so much with Hughes!" She accused, wrestling her arm free of his gentle grasp. Roy sent her an amused look.

"_You_ live there." He shot back. Erica was extremely surprised at the sudden urge to poke out her tongue at him.

"True." Erica said, not quite wanting to admit that Hughes was definitely rubbing off on her too. She would admit however, to herself at least, that, she was very pleased with the prospect.

"So, why did you decide to kidnap me?" She asked, her suspicions getting the better of her. Roy sent her a look.

"Why, to spend time in your very pleasant company!" He stated, sounding far too much like Armstrong. Erica stopped up in the middle of the hallway, staring at him. Roy stopped too, sighing, the smile gone.

"I'd rather we discussed it somewhere more private."

Erica could feel a ball of worry forming in her chest. She lifted an eyebrow. "And the Military cafeteria is a 'private place'?"

"No." Roy said.. "But that won't be a problem" Without further ado, he started walking again. Erica frowned, running to keep up with him.

"What? Why not?"

"Because the cafeteria…" Roy said, sticking his thump backwards over his shoulder"…Is _that_ way."

"Oh." Erica mumbled, mentally sighing. Would people ever get tired of toying with her? She decided to follow without more comments.

*

The café they arrived in didn't exactly seem private, but Erica couldn't see anything good coming out of her pointing it out. Roy was after all the expert, and there really weren't that many customers in there anyway.

The woman managing the desk seemed to already know Roy, because she winked at him before shouting 'the usual?' and disappearing through a door when he nodded.

"What would you like to eat?"

"Errr, anything that goes under the category 'food'" Erica simply answered, having no clue what she wanted at the moment. Roy smiled.

"So, is working with Sheska fun?" He asked, looking at her bleeding and ink-stained hands. Erica quickly wiped them in a napkin.

"Yeah, she's great." She mumbled, wondering what Roy was on about.

"Huh. Not a slave-driver, right? Just tell her if you think she's putting too much weight on you."

Erica narrowed her eyes. "No, not at all. As I said, she's great." Was he trying to distract her?

"Well, that's good then." Roy said, tilting his head to the side. "How's Gracia and Elysia?"

Erica let out a melodramatic sigh. "Roy Mustang, if you do not tell me why you dragged me all the way down here right this instance, I swear I will carve out your liver with this spoon!" She picked up the spoon lying by her hand, the only possible weapon around. For the shortest of seconds she wondered if she'd gone too far, but an amused smile flickered over Roy's face.

"Are you threatening a high-ranking officer, Miss Jordon?" He asked, a glint in his eye. Erica smiled a little sheepishly.

"That depends. Is it working?"

"Yes." Roy nodded, now smiling widely. "It was great, really. Very intimidating."

Erica briefly wondered if anyone in this café would object if she made good on her threat.

"We're dancing around the subject again." She stated, wondering when people would stop doing that to her. "What did you want to speak to me privately about?"

Roy cleared his throat, leaning back in his chair. "I got a message in the middle of my very busy working schedule." He started. Erica accidentally cut him off: she simply couldn't stop herself from coughing loudly into her hand, trying to stop the word 'Riza' from coming out of her mouth. Roy shot her a shocked look.

"What was that??" He asked, alarmed. Erica smiled innocently.

"Nothing."

He was still staring at her, so Erica quickly decided to change the subject.

"The message?" She asked. Roy narrowed his eyes, recognizing her tactic, but apparently deciding to let it go.

"Yes. It was to you." He said. "It must've been important, because it went through the Highest Ranks in Central."

Erica immediately stiffened. "The Fuhrer didn't see it, did he?" She blurted out. The thought of King Bradley seeing anything that might be confidential to her made her shudder. Roy looked at her closely.

"You really don't like him, do you?" He asked, amusement flickering in between his words. Erica gritted her teeth.

"Roy." She slowly said. "Did he read it?"

"No, I'm pretty sure he didn't." Roy said, watching how she relaxed at the words. Erica breathed in a sigh of relief.

"If I may ask…" he started. "Why do you dislike him so much?" His tone was friendly, and Erica didn't second-guess his obvious interest in the subject. She couldn't imagine Roy hurting her, even for his own goals. She was surprised at how naturally it came to her, to simply tell the truth, instead of lying or avoiding the subject.

"He's not… he's not what I would think an ideal leader." Erica began, not quite sure how to put it. "He has this sense of… I don't know." She sighed. "Like he inspires fear you know? He gets his respect through fear."

Roy lifted an eyebrow. "The Fuhrer is well-loved and respected from a lot of people." He said, though to Erica, it didn't sound like he was defending him: more like he was probing her, asking for more information about her opinion on the matter.

"But there's never been as many wars and rebellions as there have been under his command, has there?" Erica said. "Not once, in the entire history of the Military." She sighed. "I know, it might just be me that's being silly."

"That's the problem with being a leader today." Roy said, letting out a short laugh. "You sometimes can't be sure if people are following you or chasing you."

Erica looked at him and cleared her throat. "I think you would make a good Fuhrer." She said, trying to sound casual. She felt weird admitting something like this, but it was true, and she felt like it needed to be said.

Something between a smile and a half-smirk came over Roy's face. "Thank you Erica." He said. "It's a bit funny…" He trailed off, looking at her.

"What is?"

"I know I've told you this before, but you look so much like your father." Roy suddenly said. "I don't mean in looks, although you have his eyes."

Erica swallowed, not quite sure if she should be flattered or insulted. "What do you mean then?"

"I'm not quite sure." He tilted his head, looking closely at her. Erica felt a bit uncomfortable under his gaze. "It's the way you speak and walk. Like the world is supposed to crumble under your feet." He smiled. "I think you'd make a very good leader too. Just like your father."

Erica tried to swallow again, her mouth and throat suddenly incredibly dry. Why did everyone keep saying that? What kind of man had they known? She suddenly knew she desperately wanted to know, and she had the opportunity to find out.

"You fought with him, didn't you?" She got out. "During the Ishbal War." She remembered the both of them mentioning it, Roy during their first meeting when he'd picked her up.

Roy's eyes become distant, a somber look on his face. "Yes." He mumbled. "We did. He was our Commander actually."

Erica's eyebrows shot upwards, surprise filling her. She'd known Abraham's position was high, but Commander over one of the biggest regiments?

"Oh." She mumbled. "He never told me that."

"I'm not surprised." Roy mumbled. "He probably didn't talk much about those days did he?"

"No." Erica mumbled. "He only ever talked about you and his other comrades.." He'd always spoken so highly of Roy, and after meeting him herself, she had to agree with Abraham: Roy was a born leader.

Roy nodded. "He didn't want you dragged into his world Erica." He said. "He loved you." A smile fluttered over his face. "You were almost all he ever talked about. He was almost worse than Hughes. 'Only two years, and already smarter than a six-year old! She's gonna be a bloody genius when she grows up!'" Roy's faked excitement sounded so much like the kind she'd rarely heard in Abraham's voice that she couldn't help but smile. The ball of worry had formed itself into a giant lump in her throat, and it felt like small needles where prickling at her stomach.

Roy sighed, still studying her closely. "You always look so surprised whenever we speak of him like that." He stated. Erica shrugged, having no idea what to say. It was true after all. She was sure her eyes where glistening over with tears.

"Tell me more." She urged instead. Roy smirked.

"He saved my life." He stated. "Three times. First he pulled me out of some Ishbalan's way: he had a giant dagger, would've made a nice hole in my abandon if your dad hadn't been so quick." He shuddered at the thought. "The second time he took a bullet for me…"

Erica must have looked as shocked as she felt, because Roy stopped his story-telling to stare at her.

"You really don't…" He trailed off, searching for words. "You never knew he could…?"

"… Care for someone enough to do that?" Erica finished, her usual dry tone finding its way back, even through the tears. "No. I didn't. Please, go on."

Roy took a deep breath, looking a little lost. "Um… He was in the sick-bay for two weeks, before he dragged himself out. The nurses where happy to let them go: he always gave them hell whenever they tried keeping him in for too long."

Erica nodded. That sounded more like the man she'd grown up with.

"And the third time?" She whispered, the sound of her words leaving an echo on her tongue. Roy looked at her with a serious expression, and she could feel a huge rush form in her stomach: whatever he told her now, she knew it would throw her completely off her edge.

"He saved the entire regiments life that day." Roy mumbled. "Or at least, what was left of us." He took a deep breath. "It was our final orders: destroy one of the bigger cities. Of course, no one had anticipated how hard they would fight back. Over half the men died, and the half who was left were severely injured. Including me." Roy stopped, reaching up a hand and pushing his white shirt aside. Erica got a glimpse of a long scar running over the right of his chest. Her eyes widened; it looked like a small bomb had exploded just beside it. From what she knew of nursery, it was a miracle he'd even survived.

"We won the battle, but so many lives were lost." Roy mumbled, his eyes lost ahead of him. He was gripping the edge of the table tightly, and Erica was sure he wasn't with her anymore: he was lost in memories of that dreadful day.

"It was in the middle of the deserts, a part of what the Ishbalan calls 'Never-never land'. If you got lost out there without a guide, you wouldn't come back. Simple as that." His jaw tightened. "And the only ones who knew how to bring us back were either dead or had _mysteriously _disappeared."

Erica didn't have to think twice to guess who Roy blamed for that. She felt her hate for the Fuhrer grow even more.

"Your father got us out." Roy said. "He got us in order, rushing around to make sure no one would bleed to death from their injuries. When someone started pointing out, that even if we did survive our injuries, we would never be able to find our way back, he went completely _mental_." Roy let out a laugh. "I was in so much pain, I hardly remember much of that day, but I do remember _that_." He smiled widely, an astonished look on his face. "He started yelling and screaming, stating that if that really was never-never land, he was the bloody Fuhrer, and we would fear for our lives if that was really so." He laughed again. "He then stated that he knew the way, said it was only, and I quote: 'Bloody fifty miles and if you lot can't walk that on a sunny day like this, you bloody well shouldn't have become a Dog of the Military'. I blacked out shortly after that. When I woke up, I was in our base sick-bay, and Armstrong told me Abraham had all but dragged me and another injured alchemist all the way back." Roy's gaze returned to her, no longer lost in days that were long over. "He was a hero. But he didn't stick around to get his medal." His eyes had softened. "He was changed after that incident. Didn't swear as much for one thing." Roy snorted, and Erica nodded. She'd been sure Roy must've mistaken something during his telling because she'd never, _ever_ heard Abraham swear, for as long as she could remember.

"He said he didn't want anything from the Fuhrer anymore." Roy said. "He left shortly after that: he wanted to get back home to the only thing he had left." He trailed off, looking at her intently. "You."

Erica didn't know what to say, couldn't from her words correctly. She would have never guessed, would have never thought Abraham to be a man like that. She figured she must've looked like she'd gone into a semi-coma shock-state, because Roy suddenly sent her a very alarmed look.

"Erica? Are you alright?"

"I…" She got out, locking her gaze with his. "I never… how could I…" She took a deep breath, forcing the tears back. "The man you speak about." She slowly began. "I don't know him."

Roy nodded, looking like he understood. "I'm sorry. I wish you could. You remind me so much of him." He sighed. "I still don't understand what could have changed him that much. But, whatever it was, it scared him enough to leave, and it wasn't his own life he feared."

He didn't have to elaborate. Erica understood. She stared down at her plate of food (she hadn't even noticed someone placing it there), feeling like someone had just thrown her down a set of stairs and left her there, at the bottom, slowly bleeding away. She could feel pressure building in her throat, her chest, and behind her eyes, as she came to a startling realization, something that should have been obvious to her, only coming forth now, something she wished she'd known earlier.

Her father had loved her.

* * *

_**Written while listening to 'Never too late' by Three Days Grace :)**_


	14. Pangs

_**IMPORTANT:  
I'm going out sailing for a few weeks, and therefore I will not be able to update, for about three weeks. I may have internet-connection some places, so I will respond to messages and reviews there :) If you want to have a look at when I get home, when there's an update etc. just look at my journal on deviantart (link on my profile) I'll keep all updates there until I return.**_

_**Inky-chan: **__Thankyou :D I'm glad you like the concept and plot of the story. And I'll make it up to you Ed, you're in this chapter xD hope you like this one :D _

_**Hope you all have a lovely, lovely holiday and that you like this chapter :D This is pretty angst-ridden too, but the next one is not I promise, and it will have Envy/Erica interaction too :) See you in a three weeks time!**_

* * *

**Pangs**

_To really know someone, is to have loved and hated him in turn_

- **Marcel Jouhandeau**

"_Isn't it pretty?" Sam all but squealed, holding up the white and pink flowery dress for her to see. "Well… _I _don't think so." He mumbled, looking at the dress. "But the lady in the shop said it was just something for a ten-year old girl."_

_Erica eyed the dress with disdain, tugging at her worn pants and too large t-shirt. "It's really ugly!" She proclaimed, speaking freely in the presence of her uncle. "And I'm nine – I don't have to wear it!"_

"_Honey, you're turning ten in a week- you can wear it that day!" _

"_I refuse." Erica bluntly stated in a tone that suggested wisdom far beyond her years. She was a little annoyed when Sam started laughing. _

"_Uncle Sam, it's hideous!" She exclaimed, wrinkling her nose. "It's _pink_."_

"_What's wrong with pink?" Sam half-heartedly defended. "You have pink flowers in your room."_

"_That's different." Erica mumbled, looking at the flowers in her window. "I like flowers. I don't like dresses." A small smile suddenly fluttered over her young face. "But I'll wear the dress."_

"_Excellent!" Sam laughed, stopping when he noticed the glint in the girl's eyes. "Oh… what are you…" He trailed off, looking at her closely as his face paled. "Erica…"_

"_I'll wear it if you wear one." She said innocently, folding her hands behind her back. Sam all but glared at her, before he sighed in defeat and put the dress away. _

"_You're a little devil-child you are." He affectionately mumbled, ruffling her hair. Erica swatted his hand away. _

"_That's what dad thinks too." She mumbled, suddenly down. "He hasn't even asked me what I want for my birthday – he never does. He always just buys _something_."_

"_Just…" Sam mumbled, not looking directly at her. "Just ignore your dad, hmm? He's never been a ten-year old girl, but he still thinks he knows exactly what they want."_

_Erica huffed and walked over to her flowers, scooting the vase closer into her arms and inhaling deeply. She could hear her Uncle chuckle behind her. _

"_If you keep doing that long enough you might inhale one of them." He said. Erica turned around to glare at him. "No, keep going, I would like to see what happens!"_

_Erica rolled her eyes and stepped closer to him. "You're always so silly, Uncle Sam. Dad says so too."_

_Sam tilted his head. "Does he now? Well, I guess he's right."_

"_He says you're a bad influence, but still good for me to be around, so that I can recognize idiots easier when I see them." Erica bluntly stated. "I don't think he likes you very much Sam. I think he's still a little mad we broke into the study a few months ago."_

_Sam smirked. "Well, I knew that honey. Now, do you want to return this dress, or should we play 'silly-uncle-being-chased-by-niece-in-pink' instead?"_

_Erica had snorted, but quickly agreed to the game. _

_*_

The water in her glass swirled around every time someone walked past their table, or Roy accidentally bumped his hands against it. He'd already finished eating, and was now just sitting, looking at her. He didn't seem impatient, not that Erica would have noticed. She was too far away to notice anything going on around her.

She wondered if she could take all her thoughts, every little last bit, _everything_, and just lock it away, throw the bloody key out the window or into the ocean. Yeah, that sounded plausible. And very healthy for your mental state: just don't think about it. Right.

She had no idea how long she'd been just sitting there with an expressionless mask, but it must have been a while, because it was enough to make Roy shift a little, and reach a hand over to gently place it on her shoulder.

"Erica, are you quite alright?" He asked, his tone full of a gentleness she'd only heard Hughes use for her. For some reason, it made tears flow silently down her cheeks. Roy looked like he was ready to have a panic attack.

"Erica??" He asked, his voice more alarmed than she'd ever heard it before. Erica almost laughed, realizing that her showing such strong emotions was very uncommon. And she'd blamed Abraham for being emotionless.

Roy sighed as she wiped her tears. "I shouldn't have told you. This is between you and him; you don't need me tearing everything up."

"Rubbish!" Erica insisted, and could, for the first time, hear how much she sounded like Abraham. She almost laughed again, even though dread was filling her chest. Was she starting to have hysterics? She took a deep breath, trying to prevent it. "I asked you to tell me, didn't I? And I'm glad I did."

That was a down-right lie. She might be glad for it later, but right now she wanted to scream and yell and cry her eyes out and possibly kill Roy for ever opening his big, stupid mouth! Of course, she wasn't really mad at Roy – she was aimlessly, selfishly angry at Abraham, but couldn't do much about that. She gritted her teeth trying to control it: but why _now_? Why did she find out these things, now, now when she couldn't use them to anything other than feel regret? Why did she have to find out from a person she'd barely known for two months? And didn't she have enough to worry about as it was?

If it hadn't been for the reason she was there in the first place, she would have grabbed her things and left as soon as those thoughts hit her. But she needed to know.

"The message?" She mumbled, surprised at how weak and pathetic her voice sounded. She was better at concealing her anger than she'd thought.

"It's addressed from a certain 'Sam Jordon'." Roy slowly said, watching how she frowned and then immediately stiffened. "But there is no such man in Amestris that we know of: there is however, a Sam Collins .Your uncle on your mother's side."

"I know." Erica mumbled. Roy frowned.

"I've never heard of him before."

"He wasn't Abra…" The word got stuck in her throat. She couldn't even say his name! And she would be damned if she said 'my father'. "He wasn't your Commander's favorite person."

Roy frowned, clearly hearing the spite in her words. "Erica…"

"What did it say?" She cut him off, fearing she might explode, either in angry insults or tears if this kept going much longer.

Roy cleared his throat. "Well, he wanted to meet with you. Apparently he had some unfinished business with your… with Abraham, and since you're the sole heir, he…"

"Well, you can tell him that I do not wish to meet him." Erica stood up from the table, clearly startling Roy, but she could care less right now. "I am _done_ messing with my father's business."

The last words burned on her tongue: _my father_. She quickly thanked Roy for the meal and stormed into the cool afternoon. She didn't know where she was heading, knew she wouldn't go back to Sheska, wouldn't go back to Gracia and Hughes and most certainly wouldn't go back to Roy: not now when everything in her world was wrong and upside-down, now that everything seemed to have turned against her in the last minute, just as she was hoping she would figure it out.

She didn't stop walking until she reached the Military Library. Her legs where burning after walking that far, and she gently let herself fall down on the stairs, pushing her knees up to her chest and leaning her head against them.

She didn't know how long she stayed there in the cool weather, slowly breathing in and out.. Flashes where bombarding her from everywhere, and she felt so overwhelmed, all the while wondering why this was happening to _her_.

Suddenly the mess of her thoughts stopped slightly, gently pushing themselves backwards in her consciousness. She could feel a prickling in her neck, and knew someone was watching her.

She slowly lifted her head, amber eyes meeting golden orbs. Edward looked about as tired as she felt, his red coat flung over his arm, his free hand in his dark pocket. He smirked slightly at her.

"What are you doing?" He asked. Erica made a face.

"Having a pity party." She said, laughing mentally at herself. She had gotten quite pathetic in a matter of hours. She frowned, not liking that her inner voice sounded so much like Abraham's.

Edward lifted an eyebrow. "Can I join?" He asked, sitting down beside her without waiting for answer. Erica sent him a weak smiling.

"Is the research not going well?" She asked, not really caring about playing tricking-games with anyone now. She felt… exhausted. More exhausted than ever. She hadn't even felt like this after the funeral, and she'd been a mental pit of snot days after that.

"No, it's really not." Edward sighed deeply. "Your father's codes are hard to crack." He continued, not noticing how she winced at his words. "It's taking a lot of time."

Erica sighed. "I could help." She said. "I can easily crack his code. Not to brag." She actually wasn't bragging: she would love to simply run away from all her troubles, never having to deal with Abraham and his freakin' research ever again, but she really couldn't do that. No matter what, she'd been raised with morals, and she would do the right thing. And that thing was helping Ed and Al, she was sure.

"Are you sure?" Ed asked. "Not that I doubt you – it's just… you look pretty beat up."

She couldn't understand why she'd ever disliked this boy – he truly had a good and kind heart.

"Well, you would be pretty beat up if you were in my position too." Erica bluntly said, thinking that he might have been: or at least in a similar situation.

He was looking at the sky, studying the clouds. "Care to inform me about that?" He casually asked, trying not to sound curious. Erica sighed.

"Well, I've just found out that I've been raised by a person I didn't even know and that my uncle, the only person a little girl could rely on, but abandoned her on her tenth birthday, is suddenly back and wants to see her, not for her sake, but because he has unfinished business with a _person she didn't even know!"_ Oh crap, she could feel tears rising again. "I have to go." She mumbled, standing up. Before Ed could as much as mutter another word, she'd started running.

It felt like that day after her second meeting with the Fuhrer: felt like she had to run from something, something huge that would hit her, devour her, and kill her. She only stopped when she caught a glimpse of familiar long, dark hair and purple eyes, smirking at her, but freezing and looking at her oddly when they no doubt spotted the dried-out tears on her cheeks. She'd started running again, not looking back and bloody well not caring either. At least, that's what she told herself.

She stopped short as she entered the house, heavily breathing. The wind had blown her tears away, but she could still feel them prickling at the back of her lids.

Just like the last time she'd come into the room, Hughes was sitting there. She wondered if he had some sort of radar, to know when she was upset or something. Perhaps he had a radar like that for everyone. If she hadn't been in halfway shocked mood, she might've laughed at the thought.

"You're home early." He commented, no humor on his face. No doubt, that invisible problem-radar of his could spot the tears and anguish inside of her.

"You are too." She said. "Slow on the case?" He was still in his Military uniform.

"I was just here to pick up some stuff." Hughes gently said. "Erica?"

She just nodded. "I got a message." She said. "From my Uncle Sam."

"Oh? I didn't know Abraham had any brothers."

"He didn't." She mumbled. "He was my moms." That word too, felt foreign in her mouth. "He was the…" She sucked in a breath. "He was the best… uncle… father… I ever… I used to think, when I was little, that he kept me sane. He wasn't around that much – he was a sailor. But when he was… he was the only one who loved me."

"Your father loved you!" Hughes immediately protested. Erica could feel burning hot rage flame up in her chest, licking away at the last of her resolution.

"Then why did he never show it? Why did he never say it? Why was I never good enough?" She yelled, not caring about how many heard them. "Why does he keep haunting me even after he's dead and buried?"

"Is this about your father or your uncle?" Hughes asked, his tone gentle. Erica couldn't believe it: even when she was yelling at him over pointless matters, he didn't so much as raise his voice.

"It's both." She admitted, lowering her voice slightly. "Why did they _both_ abandon me?" She'd needed them. And they hadn't been there.

Hughes didn't answer: not that she had expected him to come up with one.

"I'm sorry." He simply said, and that was enough. The water-works broke, but not a word came from her lips. She cried silently with her head down, thankful when Hughes slowly stepped forward and held her.

* * *

_**Song for this chapter: Adele – ' Hometown Glory'**_


	15. Nature

_**Yay, I'm back :D A few days before anticipated, but then I can update sooner!**_

_**Thankyou for all of your kind reviews! They made my day whenever I had access to read them. **_

_**Incky-chan: **__Thank-you, it was very fun :D and yes, Erica did break down because of the newly received information. It was a slap in the face :) Hope you like this chapter!_

_**The next chapter will be out very soon, sometime before next week. Hope you all have a lovely summer!**_

* * *

**Nature**

The words on the paper in front of her were slowly melting together into one black array. She couldn't make out a single letter, let alone a sentence of it.

She was too tired.

Erica sighed, putting the paper aside and rubbing her temples where a headache was forming. She understood better now why Roy sometimes had so much trouble with paperwork.. There must be a lot on his mind all the time, and it could make anyone go crazy.

It had only been a day since her whole world had been turned upside down, but Erica knew she wouldn't be able to just sit around and wallow in her own self-pity any longer than she already had. Now more than ever, she needed to figure this entire thing out and then get the hell out of here.

She was planning to talk to Edward and Alphonse later that day, as soon as her work was done. She'd already offered to help with Abraham's research, but she still needed to talk to them first. They might not want her interfering.

The door behind her slowly opened, and a shadow fell over her, blocking her view of the papers. She craned back her neck as the door was closed again and Havoc stepped further in.

"No smoking in here." Erica said, triumphantly pointing at a sign on the wall. He sighed deeply and removed the un-lit cigarette from between his lips.

"Hello to you too." He muttered, pulling out a chair to sit beside her. "How you've been?"

His eyes were concerned, and Erica wondered exactly how many knew of her brief break-down yesterday. She didn't look at him as she answered.

"I'm fine." She said. "Completely fine." It wasn't a complete lie after all: she really did feel better after the last few days having been like a tornado of misery and confusion.

"I can see that.." Havoc said, doing little to hide the sarcasm in his voice. Erica had to stop herself from rolling her eyes at him.

"I have work to do." She mumbled, trying not to sound rude. It wasn't that she didn't want to talk to Havoc; it was that she didn't want to talk about this particular topic. With anyone.

"Looked more like you was just sitting, doing nothing." Havoc countered, making the otherwise rude comment sound gentle and considerate. Erica made a face.

"The art of sitting _has_ been passed down my family-line for generations." She commented, happy when he cracked a smile.

"Right." He chuckled. "I take it you don't want to talk about it?"

Finally he got the hint.. "Not really. Not right now." Or tomorrow or ever.

"But, you know, _if_ you want to talk about it." Havoc went on, ignoring the look she gave him. "You can always come to me."

"I know that Havoc." She said. "Thank you."

"I understand if you don't want to. It is a rather sore one. Must be a bit of a shock for you."

"Havoc…"

"And I can completely understand anything you do: you must feel like a mess these days. In fact, I think ice-cream would help, what do you think of that?"

Erica sighed. "I think killing you would be morally wrong, but still extremely satisfying." He was getting on her nerves, but she guessed that was his plan. She actually felt better.

"Good then. Sheska won't mind you taking a break, you've been _sitting_ for so long anyway." He teased, practically pulling her up by her arm. Erica rolled her eyes, but willingly followed. Actually, ice-cream was becoming a better and better prospect by the minute.

*

It had been very boring, listening in on the two officers conversation, and though he would never admit it to himself or anyone else, Envy would've much rather been spying on Erica, as was his usual job these days. Despite how much her eyes unsettled him, he could always turn into Rafael and start a conversation. He couldn't do that now, not that he really wanted to. Military-people where really the most boring lot he'd ever had the misfortune of encountering.

He was currently hanging on the ceiling of the giant gate leading into the Military Headquarters: he was in the shape of a bat, more for kicks than anything else. He was too hidden by shadows to be spotted, but if someone did, they would probably wonder what a bat was doing there in the middle of the day. It appeared to be sleeping however, and people would quickly forget about it again as they passed by. But, of course, he was too sneaky to be seen at all.

"I heard the Fullmetal Alchemist is still in town!" One of the men sitting on the stairs said. The other looking at him, leaning against the wall. If they'd listened more closely, the would've heard a shrieking sound from somewhere above them, coming from an outraged bat.

"Really? He's been here for quite some time, hasn't he? Wonder what he's doing…" He said, trailing off and staring into the distance.

"He probably has some work to do." The first one said, then beckoned for the other to come closer as he himself leaned in. "I heard it has something to do with that former alchemist, you know… Abraham Jordon."

Despite the whispering, the bat had no trouble hearing every word. It perked its ears now that the conversation suddenly seemed to have taken an interesting turn.

"So? If he's an alchemist, someone has to take on his mantle, that's probably why." The other man dismissed with a grunt, though still keeping his voice low. "It's none of our business Alan."

The one named Alan looked up at his comrade with exited eyes. "But _I_ heard it has something to do with the Military. Some deep, dark secret."

The other one huffed, leaning away from him. "You hear too much Alan. You should drop the subject – they're probably just helping out his daughter, you know, that… Ella or whatever she's called."

Alan just shrugged, and soon the two of them went inside again, talking of different matters. As they passed the door, none of them noticed the soft purple light emigrating over them, or the blackbird that swift and quickly flew away.

*

Havoc had returned to his paperwork a good ten minutes ago, around the same time Erica had finished her ice-cream. They'd been sitting on a bench, talking about everything that didn't relate to Abraham. The ice-cream, the talking and the good weather had raised her mood and for a few minutes Erica had felt like a completely different person. She hadn't had ice-cream since she was thirteen she thought, and never while talking with someone she had so much fun with.

But now she was sitting here, alone, tugging at a piece of paper that had been in her pocket, absently looking at the people walking past her. She knew she better get back to work, but she just couldn't think right now.

She was diving headfirst into a pool of memories, swimming around the picture of the conversation her and Roy had had yesterday. Pieces of the conversation were flooding her mind, invading her ears and making her head ring with all of it.

"_He probably didn't talk much about those days, huh?"_

Try 'never'. Erica swallowed, closing her eyes as more pictures and sounds hit her.

"_He saved the entire regiments life that day."_

"_He said he didn't want anything from the Fuhrer anymore."_

"_He was a hero, but he didn't stick around to get his medal."_

"_He loved you."_

_Loved her. _

She opened her eyes again, and the first thing she spotted was a figure standing a few feet away, leaning against a tree. He was smirking at her as always, and his eyes seemed purpler than ever.

Well, at least he wasn't wearing that damn jacket.

Erica was just about to stand up and walk over to him, when he pushed himself away from the tree, slowly coming over to her. His hands where in his pants-pockets, and his eyes never left her face as he came closer.

"Hello." He said casually, his big grin betraying his tone of voice. "Mind if I sit?"

Erica couldn't help but smile brightly back at him: he'd hardly said a whole sentence to her, and already she felt as if she was flying on cloud nine.

"It's a free country." Erica beckoned. "Just sit."

He did, seating himself as close to her as possible without their legs touching. Erica's heart did a jolt as he slung his arms around her shoulders.

"So, how you've been?" He asked, the big question of the day. Erica bit her lip, glaring at him.

"Don't ask me that." She warned, trying to sound as threatening as possible. "Everyone's been asking me that."

"Well, I did see you cry." Rafael said, his face a mix of something she couldn't decipher. "I've never seen you cry before."

"You talk as if you know me oh so well." She said, some of her happiness melting away to be replaced by annoyance. How weak she must look in his eyes.

"I just never figured you for the type to cry." Rafael said and glared right back at her, but he didn't remove his arm. His face was too close to hers, Erica could already feel a blush arising. "At least over nothing.." He went on. "So what did make you cry?"

"None of your business." She snapped. The closeness and the fact that he was touching her made her head spin. She frowned. "What were you, worried about me?"

He made a face. "Not exactly." He said, sounding honest. "Just curious."

Erica wasn't sure if she should be offended or take it as a compliment for him seeing her as a strong person. She sighed. She was too damn tired to be offended right now.

"So, what are you doing here?" She asked instead, deliberately changing the topic. "Don't you have a job or something?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Don't _you_?" He shot back.

"I've got a break."

"Well, so do I."

Erica sighed. "Rafael…"

He smiled brightly. "I'm one of the Fuhrer's spies."

Erica stared. He didn't sound like he was serious, but on the other hand. He must have noticed her shocked expression, because he started laughing.

"Oh come on, honestly: you think I'm spying on you? Now, why would I do that?" He teased. Erica swallowed: there was plenty of reason for the Fuhrer to send spies out on her. She just hadn't ever considered the possibility. Until now.

"You're not a spy." She said, more to convince herself. "If you were, I would see you more often."

"Perhaps you're not as alert as you think."

"I doubt you're as sneaky as _you_ think." She bet he was. He'd been sneaking up on her plenty of times already. She suddenly considered the possibility of him placing that flower in her bedroom. He had, after all, confessed that he knew where she lived. And who else should do it?

"Tell me, Rafael…" She started. "Do you like lilies?"

Something flashed in his mesmerizing eyes, but was quickly shaded over by amusement.

"I'm not really a flower-type of guy." He said. Erica sighed.

"No, I bet you're more of a 'use her, loose her' type."

"Oi! Who's judging now?" He asked, removing his arm and looking offended: she was pretty sure he was just faking however.

"Just a guess." She said, holding up her palms in a peace-offering gesture. She briefly glanced at his arm, a big part of her desperately hoping he would put it around her shoulders again. It had felt so _right_, not to mention warm, and the butterflies that had fluttered in her stomach had been warm and comforting.

But he made no move to do so, to her big disappointment, instead crossing his arms over his chest and leaning backwards.

"You're not going to tell me why you were crying, are you?" He asked.

"Well, I was upset you see." Erica shot back, more than annoyed by the question (and the fact that what he'd just done could be seen as a rejection: but she refused to think about it). "Some people tend to cry when they're upset."

"I see." Rafael said, actually sounding like this was whole new ground for him.

"What, you never cry?" Erica said, trying to sound casual. She couldn't imagine it, but she would do anything to learn more about him: not to mention that she had humiliated herself in front of him. She had to somehow get back at him.

"No." Rafael said. "Never."

"Well, I was right then." She said, staring into space, smirking when his eyes fell back on her, though she tried not to notice it.

"About what?" He asked, and though his voice was still teasing, it was much softer than she'd ever heard it before. The surprise made her look back at him, green eyes catching purple. Her breath got caught in her throat, and she had to force her words out.

"Uh… w-well… about… about you being… an emotionless… bastard." She hiccupped, blushing a deep shade of red: she was behaving sillier by the second. She bet Abraham was turning in his grave. She frowned, breaking out of her weird trance by the mental mention of his name.

"You are." She cut him off, just as he was about to say something. She leaned back, needing to get just a little further away from his comforting warmth. "I think."

"Think?" He asked. "Oh, that's nice."

"You're probably not even human." Erica went on, not meeting his eyes, looking sternly at the ground beneath her. An ant was crawling around in the grass.

"Really?" He said, sounding as if he was containing a lot of laughter. "What am I then?"

Erica huffed. "I don't know. Perhaps an angel?" Her eyes widened in surprise: she had _not_ been meaning to say that!

"An _angel_?" He said, his tone amused but darker somehow. He was sliding closer now.

"Probably." She had no idea what else to say, still looking firmly at the grass by her feet. One ant, two ants….

He was coming even closer now. "What makes you think that?"

"Well, I've had a lot of experience with angels, seeing as I am one myself." Erica went on, her heart pounding faster. Three ants, four ants…

He laughed shortly. "I doubt it!" He teased, his hot breath hitting her cheek. Five ants, six ants….

"What are you then, seeing as we've come to the agreement that you are neither angel nor man?" She asked, not having any idea how her very dry mouth was able to form the words. Her head had started to spin again, but it couldn't match the ecstatic pounding of her heart.

"You tell me." His mouth was by her ear now, and Erica could feel hyperventilation coming on. _Seven ants, eight ants!!_

"Ehm…" She said, but she felt as if someone had unplugged her brain: not a single thought of what to say came to mind, instead all she had was the feel of his mouth so close, her heart beating and the butterflies that were going crazy in her stomach. As if someone else was controlling her, she turned her head, her nose bumping lightly against his.

He blew out a gust of air over her lips, making her automatically part them before he covered them with his own.

* * *

****

**_You know you want to review ;p_**

**_Song for this chapter: Evans Blue - 'She Fell'_**


	16. Human

_**Thank-you everyone for you lovely reviews :D Glad to see people are still liking and sticking with the story! You guys are just the best!**_

_**Yet again thanks to ikldmrogers for betaing, and thanks to my mom for kicking me out of bed and stating I had to do something productive: thus making me write this chappie :P**_

_**Disclaimer: If I owned Fullmetal alchemist… well, Ed would wear a lot more leather for a start… and Dante would suffer a painful and horrible, horrible death (and I'm talking gore here, lots and lots of blood and things being turned inside out…) but alas, I own nothing except my play-full OC's and the plot!**_

**_Reviews are like candy! And I _like_ candy!_**

* * *

**Human**

Erica couldn't describe it. It felt like a thousand of the ants she'd just counted had crawled under her skin and started picking at it. She felt as if she could fly. She felt as if she could run to the other side of the world and back again without a sweat-drop. She felt... wonderful. And scared.

But of course she wasn't fully aware of these thoughts taking root in her head. All she could think about, all she could feel, was _his_ lips against hers.

Her head started to spin, just as he pulled back. A few seconds ticked past to which he grinned widely at her, and she then remembered that it would probably be a good idea to breathe.

While she did so, he stared at her, smirking the way he usually did, but she noticed that something in his eyes seemed unsettled. She wondered if she had affected him as much as he had affected her.

And that was when it hit her, that she was sitting in the middle of a park, where everyone could see them, kissing a boy she barely knew in the middle of her work-time.

If he'd still been alive, Abraham would have surely scolded her for that. She almost laughed at the thought: she could care less about Abraham. These were her own morals, her decisions. She still wasn't sure if she resented or loved him for what he had done. She didn't know _why_.

So 'why' was exactly what she needed to find out, instead of sitting here snogging strangers.

She cleared her throat, swiftly looking away from him. His gaze had started to burn her.

"Uhm... I..." She had no idea what to say. What _does_ one say after a situation like this? She had no clue. "I... apologize." What the hell? _Apologize_?? He'd kissed her, hadn't he? But then again, she'd kissed him right back. But would he kiss her in the first place if he didn't want to? So why, again, was she apologizing?

She briefly looked back at him, and felt even more down when she noticed his amused expression. Oh, teasing was coming on, she knew it. But at least, she didn't know him that well: She could just run away and never have to see him again.

"I have to go..." She mumbled. "Work... you know." She started to run, not looking back. She silently admitted to herself that the thought of never seeing him again hurt more than anything else.

*

Envy, or rather Rafael, made a grimace as he noticed a familiar face amongst the park-walkers, gaping surprised at him. He couldn't quite blame his comrade though; he was probably as surprised himself.

He'd kissed her. He'd kissed Erica. He felt disgust at the pleased feeling he got when merely thinking about it. Honestly, what was he, a human? A few days after ranting to Dante about how he wasn't emotionally involved, he'd kissed his target.

He almost started laughing at himself, but he was too busy thinking of ways to escape: he wasn't sure if his ego could take a blow from the face coming towards him now.

"So... what exactly was that all about?" The low, sultry voice asked as Lust stopped before him. Envy let out a breath: he supposed it could be worse. She could have been Greed.

He lifted an eyebrow. "Manipulating an enemy." He simply said, sounding as cold as he usually did. Didn't work though, he could practically feel her rolling her eyes.

"Very convincing lie Envy. Though I'm sure Dante will eat it raw, I am not as easily fooled."

"Oh, we sure do think a lot of ourselves." Envy mocked, glaring at her. Why couldn't she just leave him alone? Oh, right, because they were a _family. _Or at least that's what she and Dante meant. Not that Lust and Dante were very alike.

"Will you tell me the real reason why you kissed her?" Lust asked, getting straight to the point. Nice tactic, it was one he himself would have used if getting information from a source. Of course, he wasn't a source and she wasn't on the job right now. His eyes narrowed.

"Why are you here?" He sneered. Had Dante sent her to spy on him? To keep a _check_ on him, in case something like this happened?

He suddenly had a very strong urge to rip something apart.

"I'll answer your question if you answer mine." Lust said. He sneered at her again: he should've figured. But if she insisted on playing the big sis…

"You first." He demanded, not trying to hide the anger in his voice. Lust sat down beside him.

"Dante didn't send me." She said, and he immediately felt better. He knew Lust would gain nothing through lying to him; she had no reason to do so. She wasn't particularly fond of Dante either.

"I came here to see the girl." Lust continued. Envy's head snapped around, dark hair glistening in the sun. He stared at her. She stared back.

"Dante is blind to it, because Dante doesn't understand it." She continued, still looking at him. "But I saw. And I wanted to see her: wanted to see what kind of person could... change you."

What the...?? Envy jumped up, his fist tightened.

"Change me??" He bellowed, doing his best to keep his voice down. He _was_ able to control himself, thank you very much; he just wasn't always in the mood to do so. This conversation however, he wished to keep a secret, so it would be better if the Fuhrer didn't hear anything about two purple-eyed persons having a row in the park. He wouldn't admit that it was also because he was scared this might endanger Erica further.

"What the _hell_ do you mean, _change me_?!"

"I think you know Envy." Lust said. "And now it's your turn: Why did you kiss her?"

He glared at her, resisting the urge to lunge forward and make her loose a limb. _Not in public, not in public. _Holding his temper was quickly becoming a large issue.

"But you already _know_, don't you?" He mumbled, his voice low and dangerous. She could just _dare_ make the wrong assumptions.

"Because you're infatuated with her."

Alright, that was it. He lunged forward, his hand smashing into the bench and destroying it, seeing as she'd moved before he could reach her. He spun around to face her, and was surprised at how close she was: in his anger, he'd forgotten how fast she could move.

"Envy, _not here_!" She hissed, though she had one hand raised in case he wouldn't listen to her. For once however, he did.

He breathed in heavily, spinning around and walking away. She followed however.

"You shouldn't have come here." He said. "If someone recognized you... you could have compromised the entire mission."

"I'm not that careless." She simply said, and he had to give her that: she was at least in normal human-clothes, her high-necked shirt hiding the Ouroboros from view.

For a while they walked in silence, but he broke it in the end, something nagging him.

"Why did you ask if you already know the answer?" He said, trying to sound casual. It looked like it had failed however, because Lust glanced at him as if she could read his thoughts.

"Perhaps I asked the wrong question." She said. "I was just shocked you would do something like that, even to someone…" She trailed off, shooting a look at him. His expression had darkened, so she figured it would probably be safest not to mention the I-word again. "I wanted to know, as I said before, _why_ you where so... eer... interested in her."

He glared at her again, but seemed to hold his temper.

"That's two questions." He hissed. "Not part of the deal."

Lust merely shrugged: to be honest, she wasn't sure if she had really expected an answer to that one. Though she was curios, she decided to let it go.

Envy for his part, had nearly forgotten her presence again: his thoughts kept spinning, his head trying to find out the answer to the first question Lust had asked him. Why the hell had he kissed her?

So what if she had the same eyes as William's lost love. So what if she was stronger than any other human he'd come across, so what if she seemed like she understood him, so what if her hair was soft and her eyes where always sparkling, if she was sad or happy...

He raised a hand to hit his head, gritting his teeth together. What was he thinking? Was he really, as Lust had said, infatuated with this _human_ lowlife?

A part of him mentally gagged at the thought. Another part... he swiftly ignored. He already knew what that part would say.

He had first approached her, merely for the sake of the mission: trying to get her to talk, find out if she had spoken the shrimp, and find something that might compromise them. And then she had teased him, and suddenly, refused to look at him, instead deciding that the stupid grass was more worthy of looking at, and he'd become more and more annoyed. He'd wanted her to look at him, he hadn't cared how much her eyes unsettled him, how much they made something inside him take an extra spin every time she did.

And he wasn't sure why he'd done it, but he'd suddenly found himself leaning forward, wanting to tease her, perhaps as a punishment for looking at the idiotic grass instead of him when he was really all she _should_ be looking at.

And then she'd shifted her gaze, looking at him finally, and something in him clicked. He recognized those eyes: not only the color, but the... he grimaced at the thought now, the _feelings_ in them. And then he'd kissed her.

He realized his lips where still warm, a sensation still drumming right beneath them. He could still feel her lips on his, and he knew he didn't want the sensation to go away. Really, he had to ask Dante if Homunculi could get the flu: this was _not_ normal. Something must be wrong with him.

He briefly tried to remember if this was what it felt like to be human.

*

It was almost night, when Lust reached her destination. The real reason why she was there.

The man sitting on the stair slowly lifted his head, smiling widely at her.

"Ah, Solaris, you're finally here." He said, walking over to her and hugging her tightly. "It's been too long."

She smiled. "It really has... Sam."

* * *

_**You hate my cliff-hanger ass, don't you?**_

_**Written while listening to 'Memories' of Within Temptation. Though I'm not sure it fits that well. **_


	17. Code of Honor

**_First of, I would like to apologize for the lateness of this chapter: as some of you might've known, I started at my boarding school last thursday, and everything has been so hectic since then, I simply haven't had the time to update before now :) I will try to get the next chapter out sooner, but I can't promise anything, so please don't set me on fire or something if it fails!_**

_**Inky-Chan: **Thankyou, I'm glad you think it's brilliant :D and that I managed to shock you, I like surprising people (especially my readers, as you might've noticed xD) and I've been planning from the start for Lust to have a bigger role, generally because of the way she seems to be in the anime :) I really like her as a character, but you'll get to see how she's going to play in with the rest of the plot ^^ _

_**Double-entrende: **As always, your reviews make my day, and you shouldn't feel bad at all: better late than never, and I am so sorry I crushed your hopes and then updated sooner than I said, so that you where waiting without reason! And I like that it came to you in a dream xD I'm so glad you like the kiss, I was a bit unsure about writing it, but it was well-recieved, so I must have done something right :D Sorry so much for nearly killing you with the twist, I do hope you're alright :) not really so many answers in this one, but I hope you like it anyway :D And lol, you are so right about Envy/Rafael being cute exactly because he is a manipulative monster, to put it nice xD _

**_Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, you should be getting mental glomps and candy-bars right at this moment, from yours truly :) Hope you like this one!_**

* * *

**Code of Honor**

She'd barely come back from her little adventure in the park, before Alphonse found her.

Erica was a little startled to see him there, but also happy. Anything to keep her mind off of what had just happened. So she smiled heart-felt at him and said a hello.

"Hi! I was looking for you." He replied, yet again managing a smile through the helmet.

"Oh? What for?" She asked, a little bewildered. Her head still felt extremely fuzzy.

Al leaned in closer, his eyes looking around the hall-way to see if anyone was listening.

"About the research." He dramatically whispered." Erica's eyes widened as his antics, and she couldn't help but snicker.

"Really, no one's listening." She said, though that brought back memories of her and Rafael's conversation: what if he really was a spy? She shivered at the thought. It would explain why he was hanging around so much, the things he knew… but no, no it couldn't be true. It wasn't.

Al shrugged. "Ed says you can never be too careful."

Erica didn't comment on that, merely followed the younger boy down the corridors of the Headquarters.

"I have the day off tomorrow." She said. "I can help you then."

"Excellent. We'll pick you up at Hughes' place, okay?" Al said. Erica couldn't help but smile at him: as always the boy's warmth made her happy.

She nodded her goodbye, before quickly entering. Sheska was there, but the other woman had fallen asleep over a stack of papers. Her glasses where askew over her face and she was mumbling in her sleep. When Erica neared, she could hear the faint whisper of forms and dates coming out of her co-workers mouth.

Looking at the time, she knew it would be soon for Sheska to visit her mom in the hospital. She reached out and gently shook her shoulder, causing her to wake up.

"Huh? What?? Where??" Sheska pulled her glasses back in place and looked around confusingly. "I'm working!"

"You fell asleep." Erica quietly said, trying to calm her down.

"Oh, Erica, didn't see you there." She narrowed her eyes. "How long have I been sleeping?"

Erica just shrugged, not quite wanting to say that she'd just gotten back herself.

"You have to visit your mother soon." She pointed out. "Perhaps you should take the rest of the day off. You're completely trashed. I can work for the both of us."

Sheska hesitated and opened her mouth to protest, but Erica held up a hand to stop her. The other woman smiled gratefully.

"Okay, then, but call me if you need anything." She stood up and grabbed her jacket. "Thanks Erica."

Erica shrugged. "No problem. I'll see you later." She called, knowing that half a day off would do Sheska good. Especially when she spent it with her mother.

After all, family was important.

*

Envy was bloody bored.

Not just bored as in 'I-have-nothing-to-do-and-I'm-to-lazy-to-find-anything'. No, no, this was 'I-have-nothing-to-do-and-I-have-no-choice-in-the-matter'. And that was much, much worse.

He was sitting on the head of an unmoving lion, in the form of a little girl devouring a lollipop. Her blond pig-tails where glowing in the sun, and her white summer-dress where a little dirty and ruffled after a day full of games. Of course, if anyone had gotten any closer and actually inspected, they would have noticed that some of the 'dirt' on the hem of the dress had a weird, rusty-red color, like dried out blood.

It certainly wasn't the girl's blood.

Envy pulled the lollipop out of his mouth and inspected the pinkish purple thing closely. Why anyone would want to eat these things where beyond him: despite the sweetness of the candy, the taste left his mouth feeling dry and sugar-coated, as if someone had smeared syrup on his teeth and tongue. It was all he could do not just to squash the annoying thing between his hands.

But at least it served its purpose of destroying all traces of Erica's taste.

_Her_ lips hadn't tasted too sweet, and certainly hadn't left him wanting to drink a gallon of water afterwards. No, she'd tasted like sweet flowers and something undefined, something much sweeter, like a giant field in the summer and _what the hell was he thinking?_

He violently popped the lollipop back in his mouth, glaring to all sides before composing himself when an old lady stared at him in shock: he was supposed to play the part of innocent little girl, not power-hungry, lollipop eating maniac. He let out a snort at the thought, and smiled brilliantly at the people around him. A few smiled back, happy that such sweet children where living here.

They were all so pathetic.

The girl shifted a little, her eyes yet again focusing on the target, who this far still hadn't done anything remotely interesting. He was already getting bored again, and his thoughts started straying towards green eyes and a teasing smile, as well as a proud temper and… he was gonna bloody kill himself before the day was over!

No longer able to resist, he took the lollipop out again, and hurled it with all his might at one of the pecking pigeons on the streets. It hit the bird square at the temple, and with a surprised 'squeak!' it dropped dead, the murder weapon lying innocently at the ground beside it.

Well now he felt a little better. But only slightly.

Finally his target decided to move. The man stood up from his seat at the small café and started walking. The girl jumped down from the lion-statue and swiftly followed, whistling a low tune all the while. There was a large distance between them, and with all the people on the streets going in the same direction, no one would stop to think if the girl was following someone.

Even though the person he was following was a man of importance.

His target stopped at a flower-shop, buying a nice bouquet and chatted with the shop-keeper for a while. The little girl half-jumped half-run past them, seating herself in the shadows of an alley a little away. Envy yawned and started kicking at the rocks with his mud-covered ballerina-shoes. He tugged at his hair and observed the target impatiently.

Honestly, didn't he deserve any better? He was the first, goddamnit! The first Homunculi, the oldest of them all. Shouldn't he get all the great missions? All the assassinations that Lust so frequently bragged about?

A part of him was pointing out that he _had_ actually volunteered to stay in Central, for the simple reason that it was where the Pipsqueak most frequently was. But he swiftly ignored that reasoning. He didn't want to be here, and bore his ass of, when there was so many others, more productive things he could be doing for Dante's stupid and sick organization!

The target moved again, and the girl hid herself in the shadows. Envy gritted his teeth as the man turned down one of the deserted alleys. It would look suspicious if the girl followed him there. He quickly turned himself into a rat, and started running over the ground, close to the walls so he wouldn't be spotted.

He rounded a corner, following the target, when suddenly a sound next to him made him look around. He squeaked, as something big and heavy hit him hard on the head.

Some crazy woman with a broom. Great.

He quickly ducked for cover as his attacker kept yelling and hitting everywhere, something about 'disgusting rats'. How insulting! Rats weren't disgusting, they where useful and quite brilliant, if he had to say so himself! Really, humans had no respect.

Finally, the woman retreated back inside, having probably thought that the rat was defeated. Envy breathed a sigh of relief: he wanted nothing more than to turn back into his regular form and strangle the obnoxious female, but that would have compromised the entire mission and for once he didn't think another lecture from Dante was worth it.

He peeked around the corner, cursing to himself. He couldn't see the target, but at least he could guess where it was headed. He transformed into a pretty little butterfly and peacefully swirled in the air, all the way to Lieutenant Hawkeye's apartment.

He was there, giving her the flowers. Envy wanted to gag, ignoring the thought that he'd given flowers to someone too.

_But that was entirely different!_ He mentally argued back. _That had a deeper meaning behind it. It wasn't some sappy gesture, meant to show interest or genuine care…_

But since when, exactly, had he started doing the whole 'deeper meaning' thing?

He sneered at himself (quickly stopping, because a sneer coming from a butterfly can potentially encounter unwanted attention: it's not exactly something you hear every day) and quickly decided that it would do him no good to think too much about it. Actually, it would do him no good to think at all. Envy started to hum the tune from before in his head again, ignoring every thought about Erica and flowers that might press on, as he watched Roy say his goodbye to Riza, and walk away again, a new wistfulness in the man's steps.

Humans were pathetic.

*

When it came to decoding Abraham's code, Erica could be proud to call herself a specialist. Despite his sense of privacy, she could still say that she was one of the people who knew him best: at least, in this area. After all, the man she'd known was the man who'd kept searching for answers, even without the help of the Military.

She wondered if that was why Ed had taken the test to become a State Alchemist: because they needed some backup, a VIP card to get to their goal. It was dangerous, considering that he could be used as a human tool anytime, but it was necessary, and Erica couldn't help but admire his courage.

And she was only glad that she could help.

It was starting to get darker outside, as she sat at the table, silently scribbling away on the paper in front of her. Al was sitting a little away, files in his hand, and Ed was sitting on the floor, papers strewn everywhere around him. They were trying to figure out some code they'd found, apparently by Sheska's help after it had been burnt down in the Military library. Erica had discreetly tried to ask about it, but when she hadn't gotten a straight answer, she'd decided to drop it. To be honest, she was a little sad that they didn't trust her, but she knew she would act the same if she was in their situation. At least, she thought she would.

Suddenly Ed jumped up from the floor, locking eyes with his brother. Erica looked up too, noticing the two boys. There was panic written all across Ed's features.

"It…" He whispered harshly, sounding as if he was trying to speak while someone was choking him.

"Brother…" Al didn't get to finish his sentence, as Ed trust out the paper in his hand. Al looked at it, and for once, no human like reaction showed through the armor. Erica desperately watched, wanting nothing more than for the boys to give her some kind of sign that everything was alright.

But of course, people didn't react this way if things where 'alright'.

"Damn it!" Ed screamed, kicking one of the chairs. It fell to the flour, a loud 'dunk' echoing through the room. The door was opened, and their two bodyguards ran in.

"What's the problem?" The female one asked, as Ed sank to his knees yet again.

"We… we decoded Marcoh's files." Al whispered.

"But isn't that a good thing?" The one named Denny Brosh asked, and Erica couldn't help but shiver. He still reminded her of the first day, and she always found herself casting him vary glances, despite knowing that this was a completely different person.

Ed let out a completely humorless life. He looked so defeated, sitting there on the floor. He sucked in a deep breath, looking at his companions.

"The prize of a human life." Al whispered, his voice still soft and quiet, as if he didn't want to disturb something, was terrified to do so. "We should have known."

Erica desperately wanted to ask what, but was too afraid to ask. Ed answered for her however, slowly coming to his legs, a few papers clutched in his clenched fist.

"The main ingredient in making the Philosophers Stone is five human lives."

His voice was bland as he said it, as if he knew no other way. As if, if he said it with feeling, he would have to throw himself out the window or do something terrible. As if he would have to commit the act, if he showed any sign of remorse or perhaps even recognition.

Erica wanted to throw up. She fell back onto her chair, her knees feeling like they could collapse under her. Everything got blurry before her eyes. The Philosophers Stone? She knew they where researching it, could gather from Abraham's files that he had been too.

But why? It was just a myth: why was everyone so interested in it?

Perhaps then, it wasn't a myth. Perhaps there was a truth hidden behind it, and the people she was in the same room with was the key to it all.

Her eyes got focused again, as fear surged through her. She didn't want to be tangled into this! This had _nothing_ to do with her! She knew now, that giving the Military the information was the biggest mistake she could have ever made: it was the last thing Abraham would do. How the hell could she have been so stupid? Abraham had left the Military for a reason, but still continued his research. He must have been trying to get his hands on the Stone before they did.

A small part of her maliciously thought that he probably wanted to use it for himself, wanted the power. But that part clashed horribly with the tales she'd been getting about a brave and heartfelt Commander, about a man who would do anything for his men. And his daughter.

This left her with no answers about him. This only left her with an even deeper hate for the Fuhrer and a distant case of nausea.

"There's more." She hissed, through clenched teeth. She could feel all eyes on her, but she didn't look up to meet them. "Abraham had more research… I can go back home, and go through it. We don't want the Military to find out, but you can meet me there…"

"Thank you." Al mumbled, but she could hear in his voice that he had already given up. Angry, she stood up from her seat, her fist clenched.

"No, we can do this! I won't let you give up." Not like she was so ready to do herself. "There has to be more: I'll go back home, and you'll find out all you can here! And then you'll meet me there. Abra…. My father researched this matter for years. He wouldn't have kept it such a secret if he didn't find something." At least, that was what she hoped.

She looked down at the papers all around her, feeling bile yet again rise in her throat. What had she gotten herself into? This was all so _sick_ and wrong, and wasn't even supposed to exist!

Not supposed to exist…. She looked up, seeking out Denny's eyes. He returned her gaze a little bewildered, and something inside of her clicked.

She felt stupid for not realizing earlier. Coincidence her ass… Well, that just showed that you couldn't trust anyone.

Green hair and purple eyes. Black hair and purple eyes, soft, dark skin and lips that tasted like leaves and…. And death.

"I'll leave in the morning. I have to go." She whispered, knowing they would hear her even if her voice was that low. There was no sounds in the room. She quickly grabbed her jacket and ran outside.

*

It was a relatively warm evening, so it was no surprise that Hughes had decided to sit outside and read the paper instead of in the kitchen as he used to. A small lantern was at the table, illuminating the pages for him.

He looked up as she walked into the garden, sending her a soft smile.

"Yo! How was your day?"

Erica sent him an incredulous look, then took a deep breath.

"Pretty weird." She mumbled. She bit her lip, walking but next to him. "Listen Hughes… do you keep any track on my Uncle Sam?"

He looked at her, his eyes both confused and brimming with understanding. "A little. We looked at his file, and he's been missing for years, now he suddenly returns. It is suspicious, though not our main priority. Why do you ask?"

Erica swallowed, knowing she had to directly ask despite the fact that he probably already knew.

"I need to talk to him." She said. "It's urgent. I'm leaving with him in the morning: we're going back to my house to settle some matters." The words 'my house' burned weirdly at her tongue. It wasn't new for her to address her home like that, but now she knew that the words had deeper meaning. Now it really was _her_ house.

Hughes eyebrows nearly hit the back of his neck at her words: that clearly was not what he had been expecting.

"Well, that sounds plausible. And like something we can arrange. But tomorrow, isn't that…?"

"A little early, but we don't have much time." Erica said. "I want this over and done with as quickly as possible." She sat down beside him, sighing deeply. "Then maybe… I'll be free to go."

There was silence after that, and Erica realized that her words may have sounded wrong. She snapped up her head, realizing Hughes was looking at her with a thoughtful gaze.

"I'm not exactly sure what happened between you and Sam." He said. "But I think it's good that you get to settle it, whatever it is. As long as you're careful."

Erica chose not to comment on that, simply smiled.

"How come you're always so insightful?" She asked, practically feeling his smile.

"It's a gift."

"Modest too." She grinned at him, feeling a lot better. Her grin faded a little, as her thoughts strayed.

"I'm going to miss you and your family when I'm gone." She slowly said, hoping she could find the right words. She'd never been too good at stuff like this. "Even if it's just for a few days, and I will come back."

"I can say for sure that we'll miss you too." Hughes said. "It's been great having you around, Erica."

Erica smiled softly, staring into the sky. "It's been great being around."

She wasn't sure what would happen tomorrow, how she would handle her confrontation with Sam, and if it was possible to find some more information about the Philosophers Stone. She didn't know what she should do about Rafael either: she was pretty sure that he actually was some sort of spy, and that it had been him in the disguise of Denny Brosh on her first day here. But she had to do it, no matter what she wanted herself.

And then, hopefully, she would be free to do what she wanted, for once.


	18. The Forgotten

_**So, my internet cracked up in about ninety different ways, and I thus wasn't able to put the already finished chapter up yesterday :( But it's working again now! Yaaaay! **_

_**And now, I'm pretty sure I was going to say something about this chapter, but I've completely forgotten (haha) what it was. I just hope you enjoy it :)**_

_**Inky-chan: **__Yeah, it's coming slowly but the pieces will be fitting into place soon :) I'm pleased you like it! As for Ed and Al, well, we knew they would face all of this trouble, and we know they'll pull through at the end! Ah, I hope you didn't get too much of a shock :) And I hope you like this chapter!_

* * *

**The Forgotten**

This was surely going to ruin the entire plan.

Envy could just feel it. Of course, he was smart enough not to say anything about it to Dante. She would just throw a fit, or worse, take him off the assignment. And currently, he was the only one who could make sure it went according to plan.

But why should he care? It was just some girl that might be important to their goal, and she had just decided to return home for a time, settle some things. It didn't mean the world. It wouldn't matter if someone else were looking out for her instead of him. She most certainly wouldn't be in danger.

At least that was what he would keep telling himself.

Not that he cared in the slightest. The girl could do whatever she pleased. But why the hell did she have to mess this up so much? He ignored the nagging voice that pointed out that _he_ was a big part and fault of the mess. It wouldn't help to dwell on that anyway, and he was having a denial-party in the first place. No, this was entirely her fault.

And now Dante was even more interested in her: because _why_ had Erica suddenly agreed to go back home when everyone knew all she wanted to do was travel? And _why_ was she going with an uncle she apparently despised?

Dante had realized that Erica might be even more important to this whole deal than they had originally thought. Or at least, her father's research could be. Dante had some crazy theory about there being more of it, but Envy couldn't quite see where that fit. Why would she only return some of it then? Why not just all of it, when she thought the Military could be trusted?

He almost snorted – really, she was so naïve. Too trusting. Like the stupid Elrics. Why was she suddenly hanging around them all day long? It made his blood boil, made his hands clench into tight fists, his knuckles cracking and his nails drawing blood from his palms. His regenerating abilities had been busy for hours on end. He hadn't even noticed until he'd looked down and saw the blood at his feet.

Then he'd left, knowing he probably wouldn't be able to compose himself. It wouldn't be a good idea to suddenly dive in there, heading for the pipsqueak's throat. Not a good idea at all.

He had currently escaped to some of the lower levels of Xerxes, sitting there and staring blankly at the wall in front of him. There were deep dents in it, not by his doing though. He frowned and tried to remember where he'd seen the pattern on the wall before (what was left of it). Something stirred in the back of his mind, but then he realized that, no, he had never been here before.

William had.

He quickly suppressed it, and instead turned around, staring out the window instead. He felt _tired_. It wasn't something he was use to – actually, he was pretty sure Homunculi did not get tired at all. He hadn't for the last three hundred years. But now he suddenly was, so deep-bone tired as if he had suddenly become human again.

Human.

Why did he want to become human again? Because that was what he had used to be? But _he_ never had, William had. And he was sure about the fact that he was _not_ William anymore.

At least, that's what he kept telling himself.

Really, all these thoughts made his head spin and his supposed tiredness even worse. He couldn't concentrate properly like this, could hardly change shape when he was so stressed out. It was extremely embarrassing, really. He looked down at his hand, making his fingers a little shorter, not as slender. The glove disappeared, replaced by a white sleeve as the shirt formed. Soft blonde locks fell around his face, his brown eyes staring into space.

It was ironic that his ability to take _this_ form still came as easy as breathing, when he hardly ever assumed it. It made something in him twist, something he wasn't even sure was really there.

With an annoyed blink of an eye, William was gone and Envy jumped down to the floor again, quickly heading out of the building.

*

Erica was anxious.

Really anxious. Her palms felt hot, her heart was drumming and her stomach was filled with butterflies. Not in the pleasant 'I'm really excited' kind of way, but in the 'I am this close to throwing up' way.

She was beginning to regret ever making this decision.

But she was pretty sure it was the right one.

"He knows it's now, right?" She mumbled, half-way hoping that Armstrong wouldn't hear her. Unfortunately, the giant man had extremely good hearing (probably another thing passed down the mighty Armstrong-line for generations).

"He knows. He will be here." Armstrong said, his moustache twisting. "He seemed very happy about it – I am sure he misses you!"

Erica frowned but didn't say anything. Right, Sam missed her. Well, too bad. He was the one who had decided to leave.

But still, despite her anger, she couldn't help but feel a little surge of disappointment when she looked at the clock and noticed that he was now nearly fifteen minutes late.

The Sam she remembered where always there on time: at least, for her he was. In fact, he would be the one sitting there half an hour too early, and complaining of how late she was when she came right on time.

Erica didn't even notice that she was suddenly smiling: Armstrong however, looked down at her and couldn't help but smile himself. He was sure this had been a good choice for the young girl: families should never be split apart.

The smile on her face disappeared quickly however, as more anxious thoughts yet again clouded her mind: she wrung her hands tightly together, trying to focus on the footsteps and murmurs of the people walking around her, waiting for their train to arrive or getting off their train, reuniting with old friends and family.

She knew Sam wouldn't be on the train, but that he would come from the gates leading into the station, but still she found her eyes drawn towards the machines, remembering the last time she herself had been sitting in one, on the trip that would lead her to Central for the first time.

How long since had that been? A month? Two? Amidst the chaos she'd lost track of time.

Chaos – that was a very good word to describe her life right now, she thought. Everything felt like it was falling apart, like she had to fight harder than ever to keep even the smallest of pieces together. She was sure that if she finally found enough strength to actually repair all the damage, too many pieces would be missing for her to ever be fully healed again.

But she could at least hope.

"Is that him?" Armstrong's deep voice asked, and Erica jumped a little, not startled by the voice but by the question: she spun around without thinking, her body acting before her mind, and stared at the man walked towards them, a small smile on his lips.

He was wearing a blue military-uniform.

"No, that's the escort." Erica said, her voice sounding much calmer than she had expected. Armstrong looked puzzled.

"But I thought I was the escort?" He said, sounding both puzzled and a little hurt.. "Surveillance and protection of key-personal is an honor that has been passed down the Armstrong-line for generations!"

Erica laughed, and immediately felt much better.

"Don't worry Armstrong, you're coming too." She said, and then frowned. "I think."

"Hello! I'm Lieutenant Alan Dahl, nice to meet you." The officer said, holding out his hand as he stopped before them. He didn't appear puzzled at all that Armstrong was there, and when Erica looked up at her tall companion, she noticed that he was frowning.

"Alan Dahl?" He quietly said. "I'd heard a rumor about him dying after a group of Ishbalan's attacked a military-camp a few days ago.."

Alan cocked his head, his eyes widening slightly. Erica couldn't figure out if it was because he was surprised, and if he was, what the surprise was over.

"Oh no, I am very much alive!" He said, a smirk on his face. Erica got chills, despite the heat of the weather. "I wasn't even stationed there. Perhaps you should reconsider which people you get those kinds of information from, Major."

Armstrong didn't comment on that. Erica was feeling so anxious now she really wanted to throw up: a tense silence had risen in the air, and it appeared as if Alan wasn't affected by it in the least. He was watching her closely, a small smile on his face.

"So, why do I have such a large escort?" Erica asked, wanting to break the silence.. "Wouldn't Armstrong be enough for me and Sam?"

"Yes, but I have business for the Fuhrer down there anyway, so they might as well send me along." Alan simply said, not looking like he was going to elaborate more on the subject. Erica frowned: that didn't explain much. She glanced at Armstrong again, but couldn't decipher anything from his expression.

"Ah, and here I think we have the last man of the party!" Alan joyfully said, and Erica noticed for the first time how _false_ his supposed happiness sounded. But before she could dwell more on it, her attention was gathered towards something else.

Also known as _someone_ else.

Children never accept changes well. And when the supposed only good thing in a child's life suddenly disappears, some would find it easier to simply forget, suppress all memories, as to not hurt anymore. Pretend that these things had never happened, because then how could the dull ache, the feelings of something missing, ever take over you completely?

That's what Erica had done. Her best to forget. It had been effective: she hadn't seen Hughes as a new Sam, because at the time, Sam had not existed for her. She hadn't had to rip out old, painful memories _because those memories did not exist. _

Of course one couldn't run from his or her past forever. And as soon as the words had dropped from Roy's lips, the reminder of something long forgotten, everything was ripped open, torn out, much harder and more painful than if she had allowed herself to remember, had cherished the memories instead of pushing them aside.

Because now she was forced to remember something she had gotten use to forgetting.

And like any child, Erica did not like changes. Not like this.

She thought she had prepared herself: she thought that forcing herself to do this would be the hardest part, but would also give her the resolve to face it through. Wasn't that how it usually worked: the hardest part was sometimes to simply make a decision, and then it was actually much easier to go through with it?

Erica suddenly wanted to shoot and stomp on the one who had first started that saying.

Because it didn't work that way for her. The hardest part was seeing him standing there, looking nothing like she remembered.

She suddenly realized that she _couldn't remember his face_. She remembered that he had had brown hair and grey-green eyes, remembered that he always appeared so tall, almost as tall as Abraham. She remember how his voice sounded, which kind of shoes he would always wear, the small tattoo on his wrist, his laughter and the soft way he always poked her sides in an attempt to tease her.

But she couldn't remember his face.

She wasn't in any doubt of who he was however: everything came rushing back as she looked at him now, both of them eight years old. And suddenly, all Erica wanted to do was hide behind Armstrong and cry her eyes out.

She did _not_ want to face one of the men whom she placed so much blame on.

And just like Abraham, she questioned if it was justified: had he had his reasons?

And then all of her thoughts stopped, because he was standing right before her, smiling softly and she really, really wanted to punch him.

"Hello Erica." He said. He sounded the same. There was a wariness to his tone, as if he was afraid she would attack him or something (a feeling that was quite justified, considering the expression she must be wearing) but otherwise it was just as soft as she remembered. Just as caring, with the same teasing, always teasing, undertone.

"Sam." She hissed out between clenched teeth, nodding slowly at him. She didn't know if it was tears of sadness or anger that were pressing at the back of her lids. She wasn't going to meet his eyes, though they were searching her face as if he wanted her to.

"The train is here." Alan suddenly said, at the same time Sam had opened his mouth to say something too. Erica felt a sudden and silly urge to turn around and throw her arms around her escort, but of course didn't. He still gave her the creeps in a déjà vu kind of way.

Instead she just turned around, grabbed her bag, and without looking at anyone she walked into the train, seating herself at the window and preparing herself.

She was already regretting ever doing this.

*

_There had been screaming. And things being thrown, and something breaking, sharp glass on skin, and then the blood had streamed. _

_Golden eyes had widened, mouth apologized, and hands trying to stop the blood (blood that shouldn't be there!), but he wouldn't have him touching her!_

_He'd screamed for him to get out, and he'd left in a hurry, and the girl had cried and bled and held her broken face in her hands. _

_She wasn't beautiful anymore, though he kept saying that she was. And he did think she was: she had always been to him, would always be to him. _

_He loved her, no matter what. _

_But how could she love him when it was his father who had done this to her?_

_They'd announced the news, announced the marriage, announced that he could not help him any longer: that he would have to do the project on his own, would have to find someone else to complete this so-called 'Philosophers Stone'. _

_And there had been anger, and __shards of glass__, and things being broken, and her tears had mixed with the blood on her hands, on her face and on his heart. _

_And he'd cried with her, knowing that it was done for now, that it couldn't be the same. _

_He'd helped his father, one last time, and poison had invaded his heart. She had killed herself, a few days before the project was complete. A few days after William died. _

_A few days before Envy were born._

_

* * *

_

_**Song for this chapter: 'So Cold' by Breaking Benjamin**_


	19. Hollow Heroes

_**So, sorry it's been a long time since I've updated, but I have simply been so busy at my new school. The way things are going now, there might be longer between updates, but I will still continue with this story :) **_

_**Hope you like this one. Had a hard time writing it. **_

_**Thanks again to ikldmrogers for betaing and helping with the story in general!**_

**Hollow Heroes**

It had been a point-blank no.

Envy was needed for other things. And Erica had left, too far away for him to keep proper track on her.

It was making him edgy and – dare he admit it, nervous. Scratch that she'd only be gone for two days, who knew how much trouble she could get herself in anyway?

Not that he was worried. Not about her. It was simply annoying, having one of your missions getting into a mess if you weren't there to clear it out.

He wasn't going to say, even to himself, that he actually missed her.

Lust had plucked a white lily for him: to be funny he suspected. Still, he refrained from trying to kill her.

Her news where too good for that.

"Envy, I have a mission, and you're my back-up."

He smiled. This really made his whole week so much better.

*

She knew this was wrong as soon as she stepped into the halls of her old home.

Erica felt like she was floating, like her feet weren't really touching the floor. As if this was a dream, or a movie, and she was simply the spectator. It was not, could not, be reality.

Weird was the only word that covered it.

"Are you alright?" Sam asked, standing right beside her. Erica glared at him, clenching her fist. He was another thing that wasn't supposed to be here. And yet, she couldn't deny that a small part of her, the part that was still the happy nine-year old girl, was gleeful for him being there.

But it was only a very small part.

"Why do you care?" She asked, not actually wanting to say anything to him, but not able to stop the words. She hadn't spoken one word to him during the whole trip over here, had looked pointedly away and refused to answer any of his questions. It had to be one of the most childish things she had ever done, but at the point, Erica simply did not care. She was tired of people hurting her.

But now she had gotten her head more right, and was ready to ask him some questions.

She held up a hand. "No, don't answer that. It's not what we're here for Sam: the only reason _you_ are here, is because _I_ want answers."

Sam looked both hurt and amused, and it made Erica want to cry and jump out the window (not a good idea considering they were on the second floor).

"You sound so much like your father right now." Sam said. Erica had to sit down, positioning herself in the arm-chairs facing the window. She placed her hands in her lap, forcing herself to keep her eyes on her uncle. Luckily, they where alone in the room: she wasn't sure if she could have handled Armstrong, or even worse, that Alan person being there.

"Why was he always so cold to me?" She demanded to know. "Why did he threat me that way if he really loved me?"

"Because he was a bastard." Sam simply said, disgust marring his features. Erica had a sudden burst of emotion, an urge to jump up and scratch this man's eyes out: how _dare_ he talk about her father that way?

"No!" She hissed. "I don't believe that anymore – I believe that he was a good man." If it was true or if it was simply to disagree with Sam on the subject, she wasn't even sure.

Sam sighed and sat down across from her, meeting her eyes without hesitation.

"Tell me everything." She said, feeling a lightless seep into her limps and stomach: she was finally, finally going to get some answers.

This was what she had been waiting so long for.

"About what?" He asked. "What is there really to tell – Listen Erica, no matter what everyone else says, Abraham was _not_ a good man. A man who treats his daughter as if he doesn't care about her could _never_ be good, no matter what he else has done to make him deserving of such praise."

Erica felt her stomach clench: she couldn't deny the truth in Sam's words: it was one of the things she herself had been thinking, so many times over.

But she was too tired of constantly bearing grudges.

"He must have had his reasons." She firmly stated. "And you must know some of them. You cannot simply have hated him for my sake." If he had loved her enough to do that, he wouldn't have left her.

"You really hate me don't you?" This time only sadness was present on his face. Erica felt more and more angry.

"You left me when I needed you the most: you didn't come back, you didn't write, you didn't call. What was I supposed to expect?" She wet her suddenly dry lips, her throat was feeling tight. "I am _tired_ of people letting me down. Abraham is dead, and now I want answers, but don't expect me to accept you back in my life, even if you crawl and beg on your knees!"

Sam raised an eyebrow. "I can really see I let you down Erica: this is exactly how arrogant your father would have acted too. I had hoped you would turn out like your mother, but letting you alone in his care must have had that negative effect. I am sorry for that."

Erica felt as if someone had hit her very hard with a brick wall.

"You…" She gasped for breath, not able to form the words properly. "How can you say something like this? If anything it is _your_ fault!"

"I know."

"No you don't!" She was yelling now, not caring if the whole house, the whole village heard her. "You claim that it is his influence that did this, but the truth is that you are simply hiding behind his sins to conceal your own: if _you_ hadn't left me I would not be so messed up, because I would have never experienced such great loss. Abraham's influence has nothing to do with this, and I am _sick_ and _tired_ of everyone having an opinion on him: he is _dead_, so let him be dead and give me the answers I need!"

"But if you want him to stay dead, why do you keep ripping up his past like this?" Sam yelled back, seemingly as angry as her. Erica jumped up from her chair, hovering over him and feeling a strange sense of power towards the fact that she was now looking down on him.

"Because I have a right to! I have a _right_ to know, and when I do know, I can finally leave all of this behind! So tell me now Sam!"

Anger was flashing in his eyes, but it was already dulling. He took a deep breath and stood up too, standing before her.

"No." He answered. "You are better off not knowing."

"Trust me, I'm not." Erica hissed.

"Yes you are: take my advice and _go_. Far away from here. Somewhere you can be happy and leave this entire behind." Sam said. Erica had to swallow a sudden lump in her throat.

"I can't ever find peace unless I get some answers."

"Then I feel very sorry for you." And with that, he turned around, heading for the door. "I have some things to gather, and then I'll be gone. Goodbye Erica."

The door closed behind him, and Erica was left alone in her father's old study, a place that had just recently been burned down and rebuild again.

Without looking back Erica ran out of the room, heading towards her uncle's old bedroom.

The door was thrown wide open, but no one was in there. Erica frowned looking through the place: she couldn't tell if anything was missing in there, considering she had avoided this place for the last eight years. But all of Sam's stuff had been in here, and she was sure the door had been both closed and locked when they arrived.

She waited for a few moments, as if hoping he would suddenly appear and she could demand answers again, and this time he would actually answer.

But of course, he didn't come. And Erica wasn't even going to bother looking other places, because she knew he would already be long gone.

She closed the door behind her before she left, as if it would make a difference: she didn't look back, didn't notice the letter resting peacefully on the nightstand.

*

Everything was done and ready for: she'd contacted the Elric's, told them where to find the information. They would arrive here the next day, a few hours before she herself was leaving.

This meant that all her work here was done, in less than two days. And now she could return, back to Central where her life would most likely take another twisted turn and she would yet again be in a situation she could not handle.

Erica was very tempted to take Sam's advice, and just get the hell out while she still could. Because she was getting deeper and deeper in, and soon there would be no going back.

Hell, there was hardly any going back _now_. She was still a prisoner if she cared to admit it or not.

But perhaps…

Armstrong certainly wouldn't stop her. As for Alan, well, she was sure he was no match for the giant major.

Erica almost laughed as the thoughts entered her mind: as if she could ever really do it. Not only did she feel responsible towards the people she'd come to care for in Central, but she was also too much of a coward to actually anger the Fuhrer, this man that she was growing to fear more and more for each passing day.

This entire situation was getting more and more messed up.

If only she could put her life on hold, take a breather. A break, even how short, would be a welcome relief.

But the world didn't work that way.

For once, Erica actually wanted to cry. It would help to get it out, to think of nothing but the tears flowing down her cheeks and landing on the ground at her feet.

But the tears refused to come, and she was forced to sit in silence, waiting for the next day to come.

*

Night fell faster that day.

No one really noticed, and if they did, they didn't put too much stock in it. Winter was nearing after all, and the long days of the summer would soon die out completely.

In a village hundreds of miles from Central, no one noticed but a single man who was still up: Alan felt restless, his dull eyes searching the rooms around him. Something was shifting in the shadows.

Even the moon seemed duller, as if it knew what was to come.

A scream tore through the night, but it was only a group of young adults, out celebrating something and enjoying the closeness of the dark around them. As they laughed and sang, they passed the Military Headquarters, neither of them thinking about the lights that still stole through some of the windows in the giant building.

People where still working in there, fixing paperwork and uncovering things that they would have been better off never knowing.

A boat had set of docks not far from Central, taking with it a man who promised himself never to return.

Erica turned in her bed, her peaceful slumber disturbed by wicked dreams.

A small girl tugging her thumb inside her mouth, frowning as nightmares invaded her head. Gracia watched her daughter from the door, not able to sleep herself. She walked over, gently stroking Elysia's hair until the girl relaxed more, a small snore escaping her.

On a train on the way to the village Erica had grown up, two brothers sat, quietly talking about the latest events. Beside them was a blond-haired girl, sleeping tightly, her beautiful face marred by feelings of pain and sadness.

No one could really sleep that night, but none of them would ever guess or notice why exactly.

Someone was cursing, running as fast as he could, with blood seeping from his arm. In the room he had just left, a female shadow was pulling a blade out of her forehead, gingerly tasting the blood running down her face.

Roy didn't have to worry about sleeping: he wouldn't get any sleep anyway, as long as there were still all this paperwork to be done with.

A phone-call was a welcome relief, even from his nut-case of a co-worker.

Of course, there wasn't anyone on the other line.

And why was he not using a private line anyway?

Gracia shifted in her chair, looking out her window, eyes finding the moon. Edward leaned his head against the back of his seat, eyes closing slowly. Erica's pillow fell to the floor as she yet again turned in her bed. The Fuhrer's secretary shuffled with the papers in her hands. And Roy was frantically yelling into his phone, trying to make sense of the situation.

He'd heard a gunshot. Someone had pulled a trigger.

Night fell fast the day Maes Hughes was murdered.


	20. To Hell

_What… it's a bird… it's a plane… NO!  
It's another chapter! _

_Yes, I'm alive :) So so so SO sorry for the long wait, but life has simply been so hectic! But here it finally is, and I promise the next one won't take as long :)_

_Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and subscribed and favourited and generally stayed with this story. You are the reason I keep on writing. Here's a virtual cookie for you :) _

* * *

**To Hell**

Erica slowly opened her eyes, but then closed them again as a soaring ache rushed through her head. She let out a moan of pain and raised her hands to press her cool palms against her forehead. It was then that she realized she was lying on a cold floor, un-smoothed stone cutting into her back.

_Where the hell am I?_

She tried to sit up, but the pain in her head protested too wildly. Instead she just opened her eyes again, allowing them to adjust to the darkness surrounding her.

It was still too dark to see anything properly, but she could make out the high ceiling and the uneven walls surrounding her. She guessed that she was in a basement of some sort, though it looked more like a dungeon that anything else.

A dungeon. A prison.

And suddenly, memories came rushing back to her.

*

"Erica! What are you doing here??" Roy's voice held something she wasn't sure she wanted to decipher.

"No one's home." She muttered, her brow furrowed. "I mean… at Hughes' place. I was supposed to…"

"Erica…" He cut her off, but didn't finish his sentence. Pain was etched into his features and she felt fear grip her stomach.

"_What_ happened?" Anger laced over her voice and she suddenly understood why Abraham had always expressed rage in situations like these: it was so much easier than grief. For them at least.

Gracia was supposed to pick her up at the station, but hadn't been there. Instead a military escort had come, followed her to their house and then left again. She'd been knocking on the door for nearly ten minutes, and then waited half an hour for them to come home, before finally losing patience. She instead headed for the Headquarters, marching straight to Roy's office.

The empty silence that hovered in the air should have been a warning of the news she would receive.

"Maes Hughes is dead."

It wasn't Roy who said it, but a hard feminine voice from behind her. Riza Hawkeye was used to situations like these. Didn't mean that it didn't hurt.

Erica felt as if she had been walking, only for the ground beneath her to suddenly disappear. Dizziness came over her and the world started spinning. The only sounds she could hear were her heart beating too loudly and sharp intakes of air that wouldn't reach her lungs.

Roy had reached out a hand, laying it on her shoulder to support her. She wondered if she looked just as lost as he did in that moment.

*

_Elysia was fast asleep, her small hands curled around the edge of her doll. She looked peaceful, sleeping her night away like any other girl her age would do. _

_Even the ones who had just lost their father. _

"_I don't think that she… that she understands it." Gracia muttered, her voice sounding like it wasn't sure how to be used anymore. "At the funeral… she doesn't…" She cleared her throat, looking away as tears formed in her eyes. _

_Erica swallowed. "She still waits for him to barge in the door any second now."_

"_Yes."_

_She mumbled something about going to sleep, leaving the mother alone with her daughter. Closing the door to her bedroom, she ignored the small lily, this time lying by itself on her book and threw herself on the bed, face pressed against the softness of her pillow. _

_Her eyes burned and she pressed the white material harder against them, _she didn't want to cry!

_At least, for Abraham she had been able to come for his funeral. _

_At least, for Abraham she had cried. _

_She felt torn. She felt violated, as if someone had decided to rip open her chest and stick needles into her hearts. Poisoned needles. _

"I can say for sure that we'll miss you too. It's been great having you around Erica."

"It's been great being around."

_A sob tore through her, and she gripped the pillow harder, willing herself to get control of her body once more, to stop the tears that had started falling slowly, hindered by the blockade the pillow made. _

"Oh! My little Elysia, she's gotten so big… would you like to see some pictures??"

_She barely even heard the window being opened, but she was aware of it when her mattress suddenly shifted as someone sat down on her bed. She grit her teeth, wanting to turn around and yell at him to get out, but she was afraid that if she did, purple eyes would see the tears and she didn't want him to see her cry. _

"And I must admit, that in the span of time you've stayed here, I have come to think of you somewhat as a daughter."

_She had curled into a ball; face still hiding in the wet and cold pillow, her body shaking. She had no idea how long a time had passed when she finally ran out of tears. _

_Slowly lifting her head, she realized she was alone in the room. The window was closed. _

*

The sound of voices made her sit up, despite the pain still lingering just behind her eyes. All of her muscles screamed in protest and she realized she must have been lying on the floor for quite some time.

How long had she been unconscious?

A door she hadn't been able to see was flung open, and sharp light from the room behind spilled into the darkness, making her eyes narrow.

A tall, menacing shadow entered. Long, black and curly hair feel around dark clothing, making the woman become almost one with the darkness. Her purple eyes narrowed.

"I see the hostage is awake." She strolled over, bending down and inspecting Erica as if she was some sort of horse to be sold on a market.

"Honestly, shouldn't have sent Wrath on this one." She muttered. "You're completely beaten."

"Wrath?" Erica jumped a little at the sound of her own voice. It was dry and sounded as if it could be broken any minute: she must have been out even longer than she expected.

The woman didn't answer her question, merely reached out and pulled Erica up by her arm. The girl hissed in pain as her muscles yet again protested, and as soon as the woman let go, she fell forward, her legs not able to carry her properly after not being used for so long.

Luckily the woman – _her captor _– at least saw it fit to catch her before she fell and hit her head too hard.

_Hit her head. _

"Where am I? What ha…" Erica didn't have time to raise the last question, because just as she did, the memory of it came rushing back to her.

*

"Are you sure you'll be fine alone?" Kain Fuery's eyes were darting back and forth, as if he was expecting something to jump out and attack them any minute. Erica smiled, understanding his concern.

"Yes. I need to do this Fuery. You understand, right?"

"Of course, but…." He hesitated, torn between following orders and obeying his friend's wishes.

"I won't wander far. And there are other people in… in there." She couldn't make herself say 'cemetery'. She just couldn't. "I'll be fine."

"Alright." Kain nodded. "But… call out if anything happens. And come back as soon as…"

"I will." Erica cut him off, forcing a smile. "It won't take long."

She didn't look back at him as she walked into the cemetery (_there, she'd said it, at least in her mind_).

The gravestones looked tall and menacing, even with the sharp sun casting the darkness away. The soft grass pillowed under her feet and she wondered how many ants she killed with each step.

She wasn't quite sure in which direction to go, hadn't thought to ask where exactly now Brigadier General Hughes had been laid to rest. Instead she found herself wandering in different directions, her eyes skimming the gravestones, all of them harboring names she didn't know. So many people, died in servitude, died for their country.

How many of them had died in the Ishbalan War? How many had died for a Fuhrer that was corrupt and evil and had probably planned their death in advance?

She finally stumbled upon it, the edges of the carvings still sharp. The flowers where still fresh, the dirt newly laid. A new grave.

Erica gently put down the bundle of flowers she had brought, a canopy of different roses, all kinds of colors. It meshed well with the other flowers; people had thought to bring as many colors as she, none of them quite sure what would suit the former Major best.

A lump formed in her throat, but she didn't cry, despite the pain. She'd cried enough last night. She thought.

"Hello Erica."

The voice made her jump, and she spun around, coming face to face with the last person she wanted to see.

"Rafael…" She said before she was able to stop herself. Her eyes narrowed. "You."

"Now that's not a nice way to…" He started, but was cut off.

"Leave me alone." She felt as if her wounds had been reopened, and he being there was just like throwing salt in them.

His eyebrows rose. He was still so achingly beautiful and it made her want to kiss him as much as hit him. But she simply didn't have the energy for either.

"But I like it here!" He grinned and she felt frustration and anger. Tears started welling up in her eyes again.

"_Go. Away." _He was a traitor, a spy, and she wanted nothing to do with him. Even more angry, she spun around to face him, her fist flying out towards his face and…

… Was stopped by his hand engulfing hers, him not even breaking a sweat as he held her back.

"Really, you should learn how to control your temper." He said, a dark sort of irony in his voice. He let go of her hand and she let it drop, knowing she wouldn't be able to do anything.

"Last night, was that…" She started, wanting to ask him, but he had already turned his back on her, slightly waving.

"I'll see you later Erica." He said, disappearing behind a hill.

She felt fear latch into her: she'd just lost Hughes, she couldn't lose him too! _Not_ _him!_ She started to run, leaving the gravestone and the flowers behind, her hair and coat whipping with her fast run.

"Rafael!" That wasn't even his name. "_Wait!"_

She reached the gate in the other end of the cemetery, all promises to Kain forgotten. She spotted him standing on an abandoned street-corner, but as she came closer she realized that it wasn't him. The boy turned around and stalked off after shooting her a weird look.

Her heart was still beating, so loudly she barely heard the sound of someone walking up behind her. Erica turned around, green eyes locking with purple.

"Hello." The dark-haired boy said, showing off a wide grin. Shark-like fangs were showing, and she wondered how they had become like that.

He looked like some sort of psychological monster from the deepest darkest pit of her mind.

And she wasn't even going to run. It didn't matter anyway. Nothing mattered anymore.

She was too numb to even feel the whole pain of the blow to her head. It wasn't until she woke, many hours later in a dark, dank dungeon that the pain would come back to her.

_"What do you want with me?" She hissed, staring at the woman who simply smiled, her lips forming in a predatory grin. _

"_You'll find out little one."_

"_Welcome to hell."_


	21. Author's Note

**Author's Note – The 29 of august, 2010 **

I am very sorry to say, that I will no longer be continuing this story. It is almost a year since I last updated, and even though I really wish I could keep on, it has simply been too long. I really wanted to finish this one, but life has gotten so hectic and it has been too long. Erica's character is not that clear for me anymore, and most of the plot has – sadly – slipped my mind. I am very thank-full for all of you who have stayed faithful and reviewed, and I apologize again for not finishing. You have been a great audience, and know that I will not leave fanfiction forever, but I am simply not able to continue this story.

As it is, I will be deleting the story about a week from now, as I see no reason for it to be lying on this site, when it is not being continued. If you wish to download it to your own harddisk (to read, please no plagiarism, it makes me sad (; ) or maybe want to continue it yourselves, just drop a review saying so or send me a message (I can also send the story to you and a short description of what I had planned to happen, if you wish to see it). Just remember to credit me.

Again, thank-you so much, you have no idea how much every, single review have meant to this stupid-author-who-doesn't-finish-her-stories. You've been the greatest, truly.

_LadyCarlie_

**- EDIT: (author's note, 16 of september, 2010)**

After some consideration, I've decided to let the story stay on the page, even though I'm not continuing it. Again, thanks for all of your support, it will never be forgotten, and you've all helped me become a better writer in the end. Again, I will clean up my files soon, and hopefully find some of the old texts I had on this story, so if you want, send me a message and I will send it to you.

Sincerly,

_KeepCounting/LadyCarlie_


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